Deaf Sam verse: Never be the Same
by BeckaBoo1735
Summary: 4 months on from EoS the Winchesters are settled back onto the road and back into hunting. But when Sam has an accident on a hunt it could mean the start of a new life for them all, but is it a better life or not?
1. Pandora's box VS Sammy's box

**Never be the Same**

**4 months on from End of Silence the Winchesters are settled back onto the road full time. But when Sam has an accident on a hunt it could mean the start of a new life for them all, but is it a better life or not?**

* * *

**Pandora's box VS Sammy's Box **

"Dean down!" John yelled then shot his gun at the spook about to jump his eldest.

Dean then felt a buzzing in his hip so he turned to face Sam and sure enough had to duck again.

He then had a milli second heart attack, clicked his buzzer for Sam then shot when the kid ducked.

It was Sam's idea, there was always the question of how would they get Sam's attention of a hunt if they had their hands full with guns and salt, and how would Sam get their attention as well. So the kid had a genius plan of getting custom made buzzers and remotes. Sam had to wear 2, one on his right for Dean and one on his left for John, if his right buzzed he had to glance for half a second in Dean's direction then duck act accordingly, and basically the same if his left hip vibrated for John.

At first Dean and John were worried that it would give Sam a god awful head ache like the saw that time but the man in the aid store assured them a lot of deaf people use buzzers such as this on a night to use as an alarm for the morning. They still weren't convinced but Sam knew he had to try it so he begged them to go back to the store and get two for him and one for each of them and remotes to match. Turns out, they worked like a charm on the first practice hunt and they had been using it on every hunt and in everyday life ever since, it was genius!

Sam felt his right hip buzz, and buzz and buzz like hell so he dropped to the floor thinking Dean was about to shoot something like mad behind him, but instead of feeling the wet grass under him, he was flung into the air and he felt a huge jolt of pain in his head before everything went back.

......

"...aamm...ohh ...od...amm...eee... mmm...amm...ook...eee...."

'I can hear...oh god I can hear!!...Green eyes...freckles....spiky hair....leather and gun powder!!.... It's Dean! That's exactly how I thought he sounded like! It's Dean!! Dean I can HEAR!!!' Sam's mind screamed in bliss.

............

"...tay...kee...amm...." Dean yelled frantically tapping his cheek.

...

Sam felt a huge sting in head and he jumped back.

"...amm...illl...kay...ayy..." he heard once again but the voice was gruffer, more in control, but still terrified deep down.

..........

"...ospi...le...kay ..amm...taking you...hospital...onna..kay..."

'_HOSPITAL?!!'_

Sam tried to push the hands away and he managed to between the pain and buzzing in his ears he felt his feet under him and he ran like there was no tomorrow.

....

"_Samuel Collins...deep fracture to his skull...perforated ears...parents didn't make it...dead at scene...foster care...poor kid...hurting real bad..."_

_Sam blinked away the bright lights and tried to figure out where he was, he was being wheeled somewhere, more bright lights, more pain...more people in white coats...covered in blood, working round him frantically._

"_It's okay sun shine..." _

"_Mommyy!! DADDYY!!!!!" he screamed thrashing on the bed._

"_We need restrains over here!!" someone called from above him._

"_He's just a boy!"_

"_Who is endangering himself and others! Restraints now!" the doctor ordered._

"_MMOMMMYYY!! DADDDYYY!! HHURRTSS MOMMY MAKE IT STOPP!!!"_

"_Hold him down!" the mean guy ordered holding Sam's head firm down as he tried to head but people._

"_Wait! Don't! His ears!...Oh god...Ohh poor kid..." someone gasped._

"_Shit we just made this kid deaf...oh shit..."_

_Sam could no longer hear, there was a screaming screeching cat noise in his ears but people around him were getting blurry and he could see lips moving but no sound coming out..._

'_Daddy told me you can only mute people on telly...he said he wished he could have mute button for grandpa sometimes...where did these doctors find a mute button? I need to ask them, maybe daddy can have one for grandpa like he always wanted...why can they mute themselves but not this stupid cat in my ears?...daddy I'm scared....don't like mute buttons anymore!!' _

_The last thing Sam saw before things faded out was his mommy and daddy at the end of the bed waving and crying._

'_Mommy? Daddy? Where are you going?...mommy? daddy?...no please don't leave me please!!!'_

**....**

Sam was now on the ground again, his had hurt even more_, 'I just want my momm...Dean! I want Dean and my new dad!' _

"...ammy?"

He saw those same green eyes looking down at him, those eyes were leaking, Sam felt a salty drip fall on his lips and he knew Dean was crying.

'_Dean...Deanie? Please I'm scared...'_

"...no...." Sam didn't catch the last word, he looked round, blinked a few times then saw John sighing **"no hospital, but...stay very still...now."**

'_Deanie?!! What's wrong with me?!!! My head hurts!! Dean....!! Please!!' _

He just about felt his eyes go back to normal when they zoned out again and he was lost in his head.

**....**

"_Sammy? You dressed for church baby?" his mom called._

"_Weady mommy," the cute mop haired kid said grinning in his new little suit._

"_Aww don't you look handsome," his mother gushed as he squealed happily._

"_Wait one sec kiddo, we need to tame that mop of yours," his dad said coming towards him with a comb and a huge tub of gel._

"_Don't, I love my babies hair," Retta pouted._

"_Honey, the kid, my only child and son looks like a girl."_

"_No I's don't daddy! You's a big meanie 'bout my hair!" Sam shouted then stomped his foot and ran upstairs slamming his door with all his little hands could._

"_Don't you dare run in this house young man! And we don't slam doors either!" Allen scolded rushing upstairs after his son who was having a baby tantrum._

"_Allen! Stop it! You started it, now Sam, come out of your room like a good boy," mom told her son firm but kind and surely enough a little set of brown eyes emerged. "Now daddy do you have something to say to Sam?" she asked pointing a finger in her husband's face._

"_I'm sorry Sammy for being mean about your hair," Allen smiled kneeling down, he couldn't resist those puppy eyes Sam was working the hell out of right now._

"_And Sam do you have something to say to daddy?"_

"_M'sorry for being all baby-ish and slamming Mr. Door," the little sweet heart with an obsession of naming things MR and Mrs lately said then leaned in to hug his daddy._

"_Good, now come on you big kids, we're gonna be late," *** said smiling at her dudes hug it out._

"_Daddy mommy just called you a kid...you's a big trouble mommy," Sammy giggled when Allen put his pouty face on and put Sam on the floor to go run after Loretta who was running and laughing while her guys chased her outside and into the car._

**....**

"Nn...ammy...ry...ooo..."

He felt warm arms pick him up from the cold ground and he knew he was safe to close his eyes to happy dreams.

"No Sam stay awake!" Dean scolded tapping his cheek harder than intended.

**....**

"_You little brat I swear to god you ever touch my food I'm gonna cut your tongue out!"_

_Sam felt his cheek sting where he just got slapped by Alice who was now opening a tin of dog food and slamming it down in front of Sam._

"_Eat!" _

**....**

Sam's eyes stung with tears and he sobbed knowing what that was...this wasn't happy dreams coming alight...this was his life playing round in his head...

**....**

"_Sammy!!!"_

_..._

"_MOMMY!! DADDDYYY!!"_

_...._

"_Allen look out!!!"_

_...._

"_NOOO!!"_

_...._

"_Hold him down!"_

_...._

"_No don't!"_

_...._

'_Mommy?'_

_...._

"_Kids deaf!"_

_...._

"_How the hell are we gonna explain this to the...."_

_....._

"_We just don't tell him anything..."_

_...._

"_Amnesia...."_

_..._

"_Kid doesn't remember a thing...."_

_...._

"_Keep your trap shut!"_

_...._

"_Samuel Collins, highly dangerous...should be kept in a room by himself..."_

_...._

"_Swallow!!"_

'_Nooo!!'_

"_Swallow!!"_

'_NOOO!!'_

"_Hold his nose!!"_

_..._

"_Try and wheezle outa that one you little fuck!"_

_...._

"_Don't recommend going anywhere near that one."_

"_Oh I'm sure I can handle a little sweet kid like Sam."_

"_I never told you his name."_

"_Sure you did, Sam Collins, you told me, how else would I know?"_

"_Oh, you're right...not like you read minds, how silly of me."_

"_Right...silly."_

_...._

"_Aaaww...he's so cute...oh Alice we have to take Sammy home, he's just precious..."_

**....**

"_**Hey, nice to see someone finally awake, how you feeling Sammy?"**_ Dean asked with grin to hide his utter panic.

'_Deanie?...I'm scared!'_

TBC...

**I know its short but hopefully the drama in this one will make up for it.**


	2. Something’s not right here

**Thank you so much for all the support guys!! You have no idea how much it means to me!!! Sorry this took so long!!! But I'm back!! :D**

**Side kick- Bia1007**

**Beta- eggylaine**

**Thanks so much guys!!**

**Something's not right here**

"SAMMYY!!" Dean screamed as his baby brother was tossed into the air and a loud thud of a skull rang out.

"Dean! Go to Sam!" John told his eldest as he carried on digging but Dean was already there and never needed to be told.

"Oh god, S-Sam..."

"Dean?! How is he?!" his dad asked while ramming his shovel into the wooden casket.

"B-blood, lots of blood, he...his head..."

"Dean, take a breath, check him head to toe and don't move him if he hit his head!"

Dean nodded unconsciously then ran his hands over Sam's legs and worked his way up, feeling nothing broken or moving, he was just left with the blood seeping down Sam's face from a head wound of some kind he couldn't see.

"Sammy...ohh God Sam, look at me, Sam!" he yelled tapping the kids face a little.

The kid blinked and groaned deep and hurt.

"It's okay Sammy, it's okay, just stay awake! Sam stay awake!" he ordered.

"Dean? Dean the bitch is toast, how's he doing?" John asked running towards them behind the grave stone and skidding to the floor right by them in a flash. Dean was able to see Sam's cut much better now the flames lit the grave yard and it wasn't half as bad as his head was telling him. When John caught sight of the blood drizzling through Sam's hair he pulled off his jacket and then took off his shirt. He rolled up his coat, placed it under Sam's head then balled up his shirt and pressed it hard against the cut to stop the bleeding.

Sam mewed and blinked awake, once again trying to pull away.

"Sammy stay still, it's okay," he cooed.

He pressed on the wound harder then lifted the shirt up to see if the bleeding had stopped but all he saw was more blood and Sam seemed to get more agitated by the second.

"It's okay Sammy, we're gonna take you to the hospital, you're gonna be fine you hear me?"

"Sammy? Sammy?!" Dean yelled when the kid sucked in a breath, pushed all the hands off and managed somehow to pull himself to his feet then took off running for about 3 steps, stumbled over his own shaking legs before he dropped into Dean's awaiting arms. The poor confused boy cried out as the older two held him steady, making sure he couldn't get out from under them again as he lay on the floor.

John practically peeled the kid's eyes open and made sure the kid was focusing on his hands before signing, **"**_**no hospital, but you have to stay very still for now."**_

Just then the kid seemed to relax but it was a little too chilled for Dean's liking and Sam's eyes rolled back once again.

"No no Sammy stay with us, Sam!" Dean yelled shaking Sam as his lids twitched like the kid was in REM sleep.

"Okay, we need to know what's going on with the kid before we decide whether or not the hospital's the best thing. It's no good sending him there if it's nothing and it's not gonna do the kid any good if this is something supernatural."

"You mean...that bitch did something to him?"

"Could have, I don't know, come on, let's go back to the car then the motel, if he doesn't wake up till-"

"Hey, Sammy, it's gonna be okay, we're going back to the motel to patch you up, you're gonna be fine little brother," Dean promised when he saw Sam's eyes open once again. He pulled his brother all the way off the ground and onto his lap. When the kid blinked then went limp again Dean slapped hard against his cheek and yelled, "No Sam! Stay awake!"

"Dean!" John yelled at his son but Sam was back in dreamland anyway.

"I'm...I'm sorry Sammy, I didn't...I'm sorry," he cried leaning into the kid's hair but nothing was working. Sam was now sobbing and curling into himself but still looked passed out and it was freaking everyone out.

"Dean let's go," John said taking Sam off his eldest and holding him close as they ran back to the car, all John could think while he sprinted was, _'for once I'm glad Sam is a twig.'_

**~S/D~**

"Dad?" Dean asked looking at his father who was bringing in the first aid kit.

"He'll be fine Dean, we'll figure it out when he's a little more with it."

Dean nodded then bit his lip as he tilted Sam's face to the light sighing sympathetically.

"How's his head looking?" John asked dumping the bags and walking to his boys.

Dean lifted the shirt and had a good look, "stopped bleeding," he said running a hand through Sam's hair in comfort even though the kid was out of it.

"That's a good sign," John told him as he kneeled down next to bed, held Sam's chin and tilted it same as Dean moving the kid's bangs back to have a good look.

Dean held Sam's shaking hand as his dad wiped the wound with peroxide and gripped it tight when Sam squeezed his eyes shut in pain.

"Gonna need a few stitches," John mumbled to Dean and he nodded as his dad moved to get some ice from in the mini fridge. He bagged it up and then placed it slowly on Sam's cut that was about an inch long running down his forehead.

"Sammy, you need a few stitches okay, but you're gonna be fine," Dean said mostly to himself, holding the ice as his dad prepared the needle, running his lighter over it then guiding the thread through the hole, already knowing what Sam's answer was.

"Let the ice numb his head for 10 minutes then we'll...you know," John said standing up and shaking his legs off before dipping the needle and thread into the peroxide bottle, making sure it was as clean as it could possibly be, the fact that they had no anaesthetic was bad enough, the kid didn't need an infection on top of that.

"Dad, you sure we're doing the right thing? I'm mean head injuries aren't something you mess with, you told me that."

"I know Dean, but his pupils are equal and they're only gonna do the same thing we plan to, if by tomorrow something still doesn't feel right to you then we'll take him in. I just thought there's no sense in freaking him out with another hospital trip if we don't need to, like you said, he's had enough of that crap."

"Yeah...I guess you're right," Dean nodded looking back to Sam and cupping his cheek that was slightly red from where he slapped too hard.

"He won't hold it against you Dean, besides he was so freaked out he probably won't remember," John said hoping to settle his eldest's guilt.

"Yeah well I always will won't I?" Dean asked rhetorically.

"S'it feel cold enough yet?" John asked moving on.

"Uh, yeah, should be numb," Dean said moving the ice bag and holding Sam's hand as his dad came closer with the needle and thread.

"I'm pretty sure he won't wake up but if he does you need to get ready to hold him," John warned and Dean nodded.

They both held an unconscious breath as John pushed the needle through Sam's skin and out the other end. When he didn't seem to wake up, they let the breaths go and John started on the next small stitch.

**~S/D~**

Sam's eyes started to twitch 83 minutes later and Dean leaned over the kid and pealed his eyelids back.

When the kid's eyes finally focused and let out a few tears he signed, "_**Hey, nice to see someone finally awake, how are you feeling Sammy?"**_

The kid breathed a sigh of relief, he was back, Dean was right there and he was back.

"Sam?"

Sam pushed himself up and gave Dean a tight hug then pulled back.

'_Huh, he must be okay,' _Dean said to himself, _'no tears and a hug, yup, Sam was okay...hopefully.'_

"Hey, how's he doing?" John asked closing the door as he dumped the duffels he didn't bring in earlier, on the floor.

Dean mumbled something John didn't catch so he frowned and Dean repeated, "fine I guess," in a low voice, hating to admit his dad was right.

"Good," John nodded then walked to the bed and sat on the edge where Dean had just moved from.

"How many fingers?" John asked then held up 3 and his thumb, Sam imitated him perfectly with no hesitation, then his hand went up towards his stitches that were pulling on his skin.

"Oh no you don't, leave it alone," John ordered before he grabbed the first aid kit and handed Sam a few pills from inside as well as a glass of water.

With his growing headache Sam took them happily and moved to stand up but Dean stopped him.

"Dinner first, then we'll see about a shower," he said mouthing wide knowing where the kid planned on going, he handed Sam a plate of toast and a glass of milk and sat watching Sam's every move.

By the end of his 'meal' Sam was getting irritated by the constant staring so he looked over at his big brother and glared.

At first Dean was shocked but let out a laugh and tried to lighten the mood but Sam wasn't falling for it, he felt like he was on "Big Brother", no pun intended and it was getting on his last nerve.

John saw the annoyance on the kid's face, it was the same look Dean gave him when he got hurt on a hunt and he was being watched like a hawk. And seeing as Sam was practically growing into a mini Dean he knew Sam was gonna start getting cranky so he picked up the guns bag, dropped it next to his eldest then said, "clean these, I'm gonna go stock up supplies, first aid kits running low," and with that he winked at Sam and left.

**~S/D~**

"Sammy, bed time," he told the kid who was now bored out of his skull watching the lights of drivers out of the window. Dean had told him he wasn't allowed to watch TV because it might hurt his eyes, he wasn't allowed to do schoolwork because the words might cause a migraine and he wasn't allowed to draw because...well just because Dean 'said so.'

Sam looked over at the clock and groaned loud enough even he felt it, _'7:39...what?!'_

"I mean it," Dean said sighing to show Sam he wasn't up for the kid's stalling tonight.

Sam huffed, he knew THAT look, so he pulled the covers over himself and closed his eyes trying to ignore the pounding in his head he wasn't telling Dean about.

He flinched hard and fast when he felt a hand on his forehead where it stung.

"Easy Sammy," Dean cooed rubbing the kids arm to settle him before he went back to checking the stitches for the night. He gave Sam a thumbs up telling him they were good then tucked him in tight and went to listen to his walkman till his dad got back.

**~S/D~**

Dean woke up next to his little brother. He shivered when he noticed he didn't have any covers on and that it was still pitch black and his dad was snoring away in the next bed.

'_Guess I fell asleep before getting ready for bed.'_

He looked over at Sam hoping he wasn't cold too, he saw a slight calm smile on the kid's face and let out his fear in one breath.

"Sleep tight kiddo," he whispered running a hand through his brothers hair then shrugged off his jeans and got under the covers hoping not to wake Sam up. The kid leaned closer to his big brother in his sleep and looked more peaceful than he had all week.

'_Night Deanie,'_ he smiled.

**~S/D~**

"_**And what do you think you're doing?"**_ Dean asked coming out of the bathroom to Sam who was making his bed, and therefore was not laid in it like Dean had ordered.

"_**What?"**_ Sam asked flashing his angelic eyes.

"_**In bed, now,"**_ Dean said pulling back the covers and making Sam lie down and take his jeans off.

"_**But the hunt is over,"**_ Sam whined huffing in bed.

"_**And?"**_

"_**And, that means we can move on."**_

"_**No it doesn't, you hit your head hard and you're not moving from that bed for 3 days at least."**_

"_**3 days?!"**_ Sam gasped pulling the tantrum face.

_..._

"_You are really sick young man, so you better stay in that bed for a whole week till I tell you otherwise."_

"_A week?!"_

"_Yes a week."_

"_But mommy I'm bored!"_

"_Well go to sleep, and stop scratching, or else."_

"_Yes mommy."_

_..._

"_**Yes 3 days, it'll be a week if you don't shut up,"**_ Dean warned.

"_**I don't have to shut up, I'm deaf,"**_ Sam snapped back feeling mad after that flash in his head.

"Oh...oh shit I didn't mean...Sam I...I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I'm so sorry," Dean stuttered covering his mouth in attempt to not say anything else that would put his overly large foot in his even bigger mouth.

"_**Sorry,"**_ Sam signed ducking his head to his chin.

"Hey, I'm sorry,"__Dean corrected lifting Sam's chin so they were eye to eye.

Sam huffed and smiled a little and Dean ruffled his hair being careful of his bandage.

"_**Can I take a look this morning?"**_ he asked motioning to his head and Sam nodded breezily.

Dean peeled off the square gauze carefully wincing when Sam winced and biting his own lip when Sam bit his.

"Sorry kiddo," he said when it was all off.

"_**Can I have a look?"**_ Sam asked grinning, _'man he is definitely MY little brother, I don't care what any DNA tests say,' _Dean laughed, pulling Sam to his feet and letting him walk to the bathroom mirror.

The kid's grin got even bigger when he saw the stitches. He lifted his hand and was about to poke at it but Dean batted his hand away and gave him a look, _**"don't touch,"**_ he warned grabbing the antiseptic cream and dabbing a bit on the wound then pulling the kid back to the bed where the bandages were and put some fresh gauze over it before tucking Sam in once again.

"_**You only move to go to the bathroom**__,__** capeesh?"**_

Sam bobbed his head remembering the first day Dean said that to him, it was the first joke he could ever remember making.

"Now go watch some TV or something you goof," he joked sending Sam off to the other room.

_...._

"_Do not touch that car Retta," Allan warned his wife and Sammy giggled when him mommy pouted._

"_What do you think I'm gonna do to it?"_

"_She, not it! Capeesh?"_

"_Everything apart from capeesh," she grinned back with her hands on her hips._

"_My kid's gonna grow up to be a smart ass too huh?"_

"_He learns from the best, don't-cha Sammy," Retta picked her baby boy up and laughed with him about daddy._

_...._

"_**Sam? Are you okay?"**_ Dean asked when he saw Sam sway not seconds ago.

Sam was so out of it he opened his mouth to speak and looked alarmed when barely anything came out.

"_**Hey, Sam talk to me, what's wrong?"**_

'_I thought he'd grown out of the dizzy spell thing?!'_

Sam took a few deep breaths and eventually calmed enough to shrug his shoulders.

Dean had enough of the guessing and crossing his toes that Sam was alright.

"_**You feeling well enough to talk to me?" **_

Sam nodded carefully wincing internally over the sharp stab in his head.

The older brother guided his younger sibling to the bed and tucked him in then pulled up a chair dreading this conversation.

"Okay..." Dean grumbled deep in his throat and asked,_** "I need you to tell me everything that happened last night."**_

Sam stuttered silently for what felt like hours before looking at his bed sheets and telling Dean,_** "I hit my head then I don't remember."**_

'_Okay, he couldn't even look me in the eye and tell me that, he's hiding something big time.'_

"_**Sam, I know you're not telling me everything, just talk to me please, I won't be mad I swear."**_

"Aah...mm..."

"_**Sam , I promise I won't be mad at you okay, no matter what, just tell me please."**_

"_**I...I don't want to,"**_ Sam told him gulping down his tears.

"_**Sam please, just talk to me, you trust me right?"**_

Sam nodded.

"_**Well then trust me in saying...I need you to talk to me."**_

Sam turned bottle white and choked back a sob.

'_Okay...time for the words...man I hope your eyes are good kiddo...'_

"Sammy, I swear I won't be mad, I just really, really need you to be honest with me."

"_**I...I had a nightmare...when I was asleep."**_

"That all?"

Sam nodded as Dean wiped away a few tears.

"You promise?"

Sam nodded again and hoped he wasn't being bad by telling lies to the one person he trusted even more than life itself.

"_**You wanna talk about your nightmare?"**_

Sam hesitated, his mind screamed _'YES!!' _but he just couldn't, he knew something was wrong and he just didn't want to put that on Dean, just like the voices before, he knew this would go away if he kept it a secret.

"_**No, I'm okay," **_he said instead then yawned pretending he was tired.

'_Guess he's tired after all...'_

"_**Get some sleep Sammy, no nightmares okay, and I'll be right here if you do have any okay?"**_

Sam nodded and smiled shuffling a little closer to Dean then closed his eyes knowing he was safe now.

_...._

"_Hey there's a kid back here!"_

"_Mmooomyyy!! Dadddyyy!!!"_

"_Oh god poor kid, hey, hey listen kiddo, we're gonna get you out okay, just keep calm."_

"_NNNOOO!!! MMOOMMYY!!"_

"_Hey kid can you hear me?!" the fireman asked tapping on the half shattered window._

_Sam managed to scrabble out of his seat and crawl on the floor covering his ears and screaming bloody murder._

"_Hey kid you're safe okay! We're gonna get you out!"_

"_MOOMMYYY!! DADDYY!!" _

_...._

"Sam wake up! Sammy!" Dean shook his baby brother who was screaming the place down.

"Dean! What's going on?" John yelled over the screaming as he dropped the shopping bags and ran to his boys.

"He won't wake up! He told me he had a nightmare when he got knocked out and now...he won't wake up!"

"Okay, just take deep breaths Dean, and try to wake him up carefully, we don't wanna make it worse."

"Sam, Sammy wake up okay, just open your eyes it's okay, Sammy listen to me it's okay, we're right here," Dean whispered running his hands through Sam's hair gently.

And sure enough Sam slowed his screams down to whimpers and opened his eyes.

"_**Hey Sammy, how you feeling?"**_ John asked wanting to check out the kids wound.

"_**I'm....I'm fine..."**_ Sam gulped... _'Oh god I didn't...oh man this is soooo humiliating!! They're gonna hate me!!'_

"Dean step back a sec I just wanna check-"

"Already done it, its fine," Dean told him as he pulled Sam up into his arms.

"Good job son, come on, let's get him cleaned up," John said pulling back the covers and Dean frowned but then sucked in a breath, _'oh Sammy, damn that must'a been one hell of a nightmare.'_

"Dean**,** you with me?"

Dean blinked then looked down at Sam, the kid was trying to stop the tears and was bright red in shame as John tried to help him shuffle out of his wet bottoms.

"Yeah, uh...could you clean him up for me? I need to go out for a sec."

"Dean where are you going?-"

John was sure the one person Sam always wanted was Dean, why would he leave me with cleaning the kid up?

'_Oh god...what do I do? I can't fix this! I have no idea what this even is!! The nightmares were getting better...barely a peep for 5 days in a row last week!! And now....'_

"He's embarrassed, I know I would be, I think it'll be better if you clean him up, I need to go out...do some research."

"Yeah, okay, I'll see you soon kiddo, I'll take care of Sam I promise."

"Thanks," Dean said then told Sam he was going to leave John to clean him up and Sam did seem to turn a little more pink at that. He made sure one last time Sam was okay with him leaving, then grabbed his jacket and left.

"Come on kiddo, up ya get," John said about to hook his arms under his arms but the kid pushed him away and stood for himself.

As soon as he got to his feet he ran for the bathroom and slammed the door shut and clicked the lock on.

"Damn it!" John yelled, banging his fist on the door and yelled, "Sam! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! SAM!!" he screamed hoping the kid would hear him just a little.

_**TBC...**_


	3. Now I'm breaking down your door

**Now I'm breaking down your door**

"Come on kiddo, up ya get," John said about to hook his arms under his arms but the kid pushed him away and stood for himself.

As soon as he got to his feet he ran for the bathroom and slammed the door shut and clicked the lock on.

"Damn it!" John yelled banging his fist on the door and yelled, "Sam! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! SAM!!" he screamed hoping the kid would hear him just a little.

He was about to panic hoping Sam wasn't going to hurt himself but when he heard sounds of vomiting he sighed in sympathy.

He went to his bag, got his lock pick and then worked on the door.

He breathed a sigh of relief when it clicked open and pushed the door open slowly.

"Sammy?" he asked dropping his tools in his pocket.

Sam was sat curled on the floor, his hands pressed hard on his ears as he sobbed in misery.

"_**Hey Sammy, how you doing?"**_ he asked stupidly, sitting on the floor next to him by the toilet.

He wrapped his arm round the kid then reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell and pressed 1 then pulled Sam so he could rest his head on his shoulder.

"_Dad? What's wrong?"_

"Dean you need to get back here, Sammy's not doing so well."

"_On my way,"_ was the immediate response so John shut his phone when he heard the sounds of the Impala speeding up.

"_**Come on kiddo, let's get you cleaned up,"**_ John said when he thought Sam was done puking. He lifted the boy and slowly stood him in the tub. He helped Sam take off his clothes then turned the taps on and let the kid sit. _**"Promise me you'll be okay if I close the curtain?"**_ he asked when he saw Sam's tears of humiliation. _**"Stay in the bath okay,"**_ he told the kid.

Sammy nodded picking up the soap with a shaking hand as John closed the curtain giving him some privacy. He put a few towels on the rack where Sam could reach, then parked himself on the toilet seat after closing it keeping a close watch.

**~S/D~**

Dean closed the door behind him, got in his car and drove randomly, he didn't know where he was going, he just had to get away...just for a little bit, give Sam some space. He knew he'd been suffocating the poor boy the last 2 days...he himself also needed some space, not from Sam...but just from the weight of it all, everything that came with looking after the little kid. He loved him to bits but sometimes he just needed his dad to take over.

He was starting to feel guilty for what he just thought when his phone went off.

He looked at the caller ID and panicked as his heart almost froze.

"Dad what's wrong?" he asked knowing something was up with Sammy.

When his dad was done explaining, talking way too calm for his liking, he hit the steering wheel with the balls of his palm.

"Damn it! Damn it! DAMN IT!" he yelled angry at himself, "why the hell did I leave the motel room again?!"

He pressed down hard on the gas and rushed in the motel room yelling all the way.

"Dad! Dad is he okay?"

"Sshh," his dad said low and gentle as he pointed to the very red, puffy eyed sleeping kid on the bed, "he's doing better, just dropped off."

But it was one crappy sleep with how much he was tossing and turning.

"What's wrong with him?"

"When you left he ran for the bathroom then puked his guts out, he was pretty shaken up, must have been some nightmare... but I managed to get him in the tub and he cleaned himself then I took him back in here."

Dean nodded and sat down running a hand over his face.

"Dad maybe that thing the other night did something to him...he's never had a nightmare like that ever..."

"Dean, it's not really a ghost's M.O. to be knocking out kids and giving them nightmares...besides she's dead so..."

"Well then...I think there's something Sammy's not telling us."

"Yeah, maybe, he might have hit his head harder than I thought."

"But you said he was fine...barely a concussion..."

"Yeah I know but... sometimes with head injuries you just don't know...they can even cause hallucinations or knock something loose."

"Something like his past that we thought he'd totally lost?"

"Maybe, we'll see what happens, if he thinks he's better off lying to us then we need to make sure he knows the rules around here again."

"Dad don't use that hunting and getting other people hurt crap please," Dean strained.

"I know, I don't mean that rule," John said almost chipper as he stood and went to make himself some coffee.

"Well then what rule?" Dean asked standing too.

"The new rule of we don't lie because it could mean serious damage in the future for your health."

Dean knew his dad made that up on the spot but it sounded okay so he nodded in agreement.

"And what if he still doesn't tell us?"

"I don't know..." John said putting the kettle back down on the stand as he sighed into his mug.

"Then it's ER time," Dean butted in making his dad choke on the liquid in his mouth.

"Then it's what?"

"You heard me, I don't like the idea of freaking Sam out unnecessarily but I sure as hell am not risking his health."

"Dean," he warned.

"Dad, he hit his head on a slab of rock barely 2 days ago and he blacked out for the longest 5 minutes of my life...and he could barely keep his eyes open when he did wake up, we stitched him up and he didn't even flinch... he's still got a huge goose egg on his forehead and now he's having nightmares that are making him throw up, if they don't stop and he doesn't talk in a few days...promise me we'll take him to see a doctor."

John knew his son was right, so he nodded then mumbled a, "yeah okay."

**~S/D~**

"Sammy you awake?" Dean asked stroking the kid's hair back.

The kid whimpered but came around quickly and sat up. He did a quick mental check, _'dry PJ's, no need to puke, panic in check...okay...not so bad I guess.'_

"_**Sam? You okay?"**_

He nodded and it was so convincing, even Dean was fooled but John stepped in and asked, _**"Sam we need to know everything about your nightmare."**_

Sam shook his head and curled back under the covers.

"_**Sam, we got rules in this family you know, about not telling lies."**_

The little kid nodded telling them he knew.

"_**So you need to tell us."**_

"_**I already did."**_

"_**No, you told us you had a nightmare, not what it was about."**_

'_Oh crap! Please don't ask, please don't ask, please!!'_

"_**I...I don't want to."**_

"_**Sam please,"**_ Dean begged totally ruining the tense vibe John was trying to create.

"_**Sam this is important, you might need a doctor okay and we need to know if you do or don't."**_

"_**Don't,"**_ Sam chose.

"Sam," John warned verbally knowing Sam would pick up on his tone.

He shook his head then pushed off the bed and ran for the front door quicker than Dean or John could stop him.

"Sam get back here!" John yelled standing right where he was pointing to the floor.

Dean was panicking and trying to pull Sam away from the door but John knew it was locked and there was no way the kid was running away, this was serious and Sam's health depended on it so if he had to be strict he would.

"Sam! Here! That's an order!" he yelled with a wide mouth and Sam shot to the spot where he was pointing to.

Dean stood back knowing Sam needed the tough love.

"_**You need to tell us everything okay? No lies or half truths in this family."**_

"_**You mean like when you lied about your broken leg to Dean?"**_ Sam snapped back much to everyone's surprise.

"_**I'm the father here! So you do not talk back to me, understand young man**__**?**__**!"**_

"_**I don't want to tell you!"**_ Sam seemed to scream with his hands.

"_**Tough!"**_

"_**I don't want you to hate me!" **_Sam sobbed then ran for the bathroom and locked the door but unlike last time, he pushed the wooden cupboard up against it and shot for the window. He felt Dean and John screaming at him and knocking the door down with their boots but carried on trying to break the window. He knew it was no use and his ears were ringing once again like he was in a goldfish bowl.

"...AMMY!!...OORR..!!...IGHT...OW!!! AMMM!!!!!!"

He felt his legs give out and cried when his knees hit the tile floor hard.

He crawled in the corner and hid his head in his chest.

His head was in agony now and he just wanted Dean, he needed Dean!!

Sam thumped his head back hard against the wall and a sharp pain seared through his skull before another flash of a broken horrid memory passed in front of his eyes.

_...._

"_What a waste," the black eyed woman chuckled walking past the window. "I'll see you soon Sammy, we're gonna have a whole lot of fun together."_

"_Dean!! Deanie help me I'm scared!!"_

"_Would you shut up about Dean, I mean are you two boyfriends or something?"_

"_DEANIE!!!"_

"_Shut the hell up you little brat!!" Alice screamed hitting him over the head with something hard and he blacked out. _

_...._

"Sam! Oh god**,** Sam wake up please," Dean begged as ran into the bathroom. With a lot of kicks and shoulder rams they managed to move what was blocking the door and get to the kid shaking on the floor so much he looked like he was having a fit.

"Sam wake up!"

"Dad why the hell did you have to be so hard on him huh?! Maybe if you'd have let me handle it then he wouldn't have ran in here and ended up like this!"

Dean shuffled closer to the kid and lifted his head into his lap listening to his dad yell.

"Well your way didn't work before so it was time for something different! Maybe now he'll realise he needs to tell us or this might happen again!"

"Or maybe he won't tell either of us anything ever again! He wanted to freakin run away dad! That's how much he doesn't wanna tell us what's going on!"

"Dean! Just calm down would you! This isn't helping anyone, just shut up and let's see how Sam is in the morning."

"No! No way, I said if he wasn't better...we would take him to the hospital, and now...he's going!"

"And what if when we get there he ends up having a mental break down and they take him away from us?!"

'_Oh my god did I say that? I love the kid but...I've never said anything out loud like that before...damn if anything happens...no! NO! No way am I letting this boy get dangled in front of danger!'_

"Well you should have thought about that before you yelled at him like that!!"

"Dean!" he warned.

"Shut up, he's waking up," Dean said lifting Sam from the floor and picking him up to carry him to the bed.

"EEaann?"

Dean pulled the boy close against his chest and tried to swallow the tears building as his dad watched him with matching saddened eyes.

"Yeah Sammy it's me, I'm right here okay, you're okay."

Sam nodded into Dean's neck then let his eyes close, his head hurt, he was gonna puke and he couldn't breathe right, he wanted to sleep now!

"Sam stay awake!" Dean yelled as he placed the kid under the covers. "Dad, I told you something's not right."

"I know but until he tells us or we find out on our own we can't risk hospitals, for his sake okay?"

"Tomorrow morning, if he's still out of it or he hasn't told us or whatever, we're taking him, and I don't care, I'll take him myself and shoot your ass if you try to stop us," Dean told his father seriously then pulled his arm out from round Sam, tucked the passed out boy in then grabbed himself a chair and sat next to Sam ending their talk for the rest of the evening.

**~S/D~**

30 minutes later Sam was tossing even more and whimpering.

John and Dean were both itching to wake him up but knew the kid needed sleep so they stayed at the table and kept looking over the research on head injuries and underlying problems.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"

They tossed the papers in the air, shot up and ran for the bed behind them where Sam's horrific screaming was coming from.

The kid was thrashing, his eyes squeezed tightly shut and bleeding from his lip he was biting so hard down in between the screams.

Knowing he couldn't afford to panic Dean bit his lip then whispered, "Sam, Sammy wake up, it's okay wake up, you're safe, come on Sammy."

He pulled him to his chest running his hand through his hair trying to wake and calm him but none of the soft coaching was working.

"AAAHHHH!! NNNAAAAHH!!! YYAAHHAAA!!"" he screamed but the worst part was how clear and perfectly terrified he sounded.

John ran to the bathroom knowing what they had to do. He shot back and dribbled the water over the kid but still nothing but screams and petrified cries.

"Sam wake up, now damn it!" Dean yelled tapping Sam's face.

"AAAHHH!!!! NNNAAAAA!!! DEANIIIE!!"

"Sammy please, Deanie's right here, I'm right here okay," Dean sobbed.

John rolled the cloth up and wiped it over Sam's face tapping harder trying to rouse Sam.

"AAHH!! Nnaaa...mmhhh...Dee...Dee...." the cries got less and Sam's eyes opened, blinking he looked round like he had no clue where he was.

"Sam? Sammy look at me, sshh, it's okay, look at me kiddo," John ordered kindly moving the wet hair from Sam's face.

"Mmmhh...aahh...aahheee, Deanie," Sam whimpered breaking their hearts. The kid then clamped his hands over his ears and cried louder again but this time in pain, not in fear.

"Dad?" Dean asked worried not knowing what to do when he saw blood coming from Sam's ears.

John knew...enough was enough, screw the possibilities, screw Sam's stubbornness, screw his own hard-ass act, Sam needed help!

"That's it, we're going to the hospital."

_**TBC...**_


	4. Out of balance

**Side kick- Bia1007**

**Beta-** **eggylaine**

**Thank you all so much x **

* * *

**Out of balance **

"That's it, we're going to the hospital."

They wrapped Sam in the motel sheets and set him in the back then set off for the hospital not caring for the speed limit.

"It's gonna be okay Sammy, ssshh," Dean cooed running his hands through the boy's hair as he whimpered in his painful state.

What felt like hours later John yelled for help as they ran through the ER doors and doctors rushed round in a flash.

"EEEEANIE!!!"

"Sammy! I'm right here okay, I'm right here!" Dean yelled as the doctors pulled the kid from him and sent him through double doors on a stretcher while the kid screamed in hysterics.

"Dean, Dean you can't go back there, they're helping him okay, but you have to let them work son, it's okay, he'll be fine."

"D-dad what if he's not?! What if...what if he's like this because of us! Cause of the hunt! What if...I mean if I hadn't...if he...what..."

"Dean, deep breaths son, deep breaths," John guided his eldest to the waiting room chairs and put his head between his knees rubbing his back while he calmed his breathing.

"S-sorry...I just...I can't stand that this is Sammy and not me...it should be me," Dean cried then stood quickly and ran for the bathroom so his dad wouldn't see him cry.

"Man, Mary please look after our boys, if we lose Sam then I'll lose Dean...please Mary," John begged looking up then wiped his eyes standing and following his son to the bathroom to go check on him.

**~S/D~**

"Hold still son, we're going to help you."

"Dr. Rowland**,** the father said he was deaf...I don't think he can understand you."

"Right okay then, let's get to work, I need to examine him, I need blood work, and an MRI scan."

"NNNAAHHH!! DDEEAANIIEE!! SOOPPP!! EEEENNIIEE!! PEEAASSEE!! SSSSOOOPPP!!"

"Oh god, he...this boy is being abused..." the doctor blurted out making all his staff gasp.

"NNAAAHH!! DDEAANIIEE!! HHEEELLL EEE!!" Sam still screamed as they strapped him down with restraints and pumped him full of drugs till the thrashing stopped.

**~S/D~**

"What the hell is taking them so damn long?" Dean asked pacing the hall way running his hand through his hair one again.

"Dean I'm sure everything's fine, the doctor said not to worry."

"Yeah, cause they know everything," he mumbled then went back to pacing.

"Mr. Winchester?" the doctor asked clearing his throat from behind them.

"Is Sam okay?" Dean asked rushing in the man's face.

"No, no he isn't," and those words right there, those 4 words felt like a shot in the chest for Dean.

"W-wh...he's okay, you said not to worry! And that means he's okay!"

"Please, I think it would be better if we talked about this in my office."

"No! No you tell us right now!" Dean yelled and John had to hold him back.

"Okay then, Sam is in a coma," the guy blurted out like he was angry.

"He...he wha...oh god...dad what do we do? Dad what do we do?!" Dean yelled as tears ran down his cheeks.

"Dean come on, son, let's sit in the guy's office," John said calmly as he pulled his distraught son past the doorway where the doctor was tapping his foot and into the office.

He pushed Dean into a chair before he fell down then sat in the one next to it ready to have an adult conversation about Sam with the doctor.

"Can you start from the beginning please?" he asked overly nice with how this douche was looking at them right now.

"Well, it's a good job you brought Sam in when you did, although a few days earlier would have been better and he wouldn't be in a coma right now."

"So why is it that when we brought Sam in he just had a headache and wasn't doing so good, now you say he's in a coma?"

"A medically induced coma," the doctor corrected then shut his lips tight.

"You mean you sedated him?" John asked sarcastically breathing a sigh of relief when he knew what that translated to in normal doctor terms and which was not the same as this douche's over the top version.

"Yes," the doctor snapped.

"And why did you have to give us a heart attack by telling us Sam was in a coma?" John asked putting his hand on Dean's shoulder who had yet to come round from his panic.

"Sam is in a very serious condition! He has a bleed in his brain and it's pushing on his ear drums!"

Dean let out a long choking scream and sob when the doctor said those words...Sam was bleeding from his brain? '_The kid had hit his head and was bleeding in his brain and it was pushing on his ears!! Oh god this is all my fault! Oh god!! What if Sam does end up in a real coma? What if something happens to his ears? Something worse than the vertigo he used to get?! What if he has to live in total agony now??!!'_

"....which is very dangerous, he's exhausted and wouldn't stop screaming! We had to medicate him to give his body some rest!"

"So you deliberately led us on and made us think the worst because of what?!"

"I just don't understand how a parent could be so reckless and neglecting towards a young child, and you!" the asshole pointed to Dean who still wasn't done crying. "You are one of the most irresponsible brothers I've ever met in my life! Do you enjoy it when Sam is hurting and you play too rough?"

"W-w-w-hat-t?" Dean hiccupped.

"Does he scream for you to stop and you still carry on beating him like it's fun for you?!"

'_Okay, it was one thing to insult me, but it was just downright unacceptable to accuse my son who has saved Sam and risked his heart and soul to protect that boy on daily basis of such horrid __things__!' _

John ran round the desk, fisted the man's shirt in his rough hands and pushed him into the back wall making a loud brattle on the plaster.

"Don't you fucking dare talk to my son like that! You have no idea! Sam is petrified of places like this! We didn't bring him in because at the time we thought it would do more harm than good if we took him to get checked out and it was unnecessary!"

"I still don't see how a little kid being frightened of a few needles constitutes to risking your son's life Mr. Winchester!"

"A little kid frightened of a few needles?! You can't even begin to understand Sam's fear so don't even bother!"

"Please, I'm sure I can keep up!"

"Okay, you wanna know about Sam's fear, well let's start at day one shall we? Sam wakes up in hospital, he's 6 years old and he has no one there to comfort him when he opens his eyes, he's lost and afraid and has no clue who he is or what is going on, then ass-hats like yourself come, check on his charts then leave again. Sam is then sent away to a foster home, and people like you lied and deceived and messed him up so bad and don't even have the decency to tell that poor child his parents are dead! So this little kid scared of a little needle is so petrified and alone he turns into this broken raging mess! A 6 year old child! And he is so scared doctors and social workers have to pin him down and force sedatives in him then hold his freakin nose so he has no choice but to swallow and breathe!"

The man was stood there, still a pompous look, but it was fading fast as John raged on.

"Then a nice little couple enters the scene, Sam manages to scrape up the tiniest bit of hope and trust and puts it on them to save him from his nightmare! But he is so lost these nice people turn out to be monsters that use Sam as a slave! You with me so far?!"

The now shaking man nodded.

"Now let's jump to 7 years later, my son comes along, saves him and we find out Sam is being treated like a rat and after a lot of thinking we know Sam would end up killing himself if he stayed there any longer so we take him away and adopt him. Then there's a robbery, Dean needs a hospital because he is dying, making Sam scared shitless places like this were going to take his happiness away from him again! And then 3 month later the nice doctors are trying to remove his cast he had from being beaten by Mr. and Mrs. nice, they use a saw, and do you know what that saw did to him?"

The man shook his head, pale white, sweat dripping from him now.

"It gave him a freakin migraine and sent him hysterical because you doctors were too dumb and stupid to figure out that maybe vibrations and deaf scared children don't mix!"

John was coming out of his rage quickly when he saw Dean sobbing in memory and he let go of the man's shirt, let him fall to the floor and stood off.

"Now do you understand Sam's fear?" he asked wiping his own tears away as the man nodded and stood on shaking legs. "So please, do not speak to me or my son like that ever again, we would die for that kid."

Dean was trying to calm himself too but had little success.

"Dean, son you okay?" John asked squeezing his sons shoulder as he took the seat next to him once again.

"C-can...can we see Sammy?" Dean asked in between his cries.

"Y-yeah...yes you may."

John nodded a thank you to the guy and walked up to Dean, pulled him from the chair then held his son in half a hug as they were lead down the corridor to Sam's room.

"When's he gonna wake up?" Dean asked walking slow like something was holding him back.

"Could be hours, could be days, that's really up to Sam."

"Dean, why don't you go on in, I'll be there in a minute," John said knowing Dean would need a moment alone when he saw Sam.

"Oh god Sammy..." was the only thing he could get out.

Sam was deathly pale, wires stuck round his head, IV's in both hands, and he just looked too still, so unlike how Sam slept.

Dean's head nagged at him to stay back, his heart nagged at him to pull in close, so he tried to settle both by sitting on a nearby chair and grabbed Sam's hand in his own.

"Damn Sam you're freezing kiddo," he said like the kid could hear him as he rubbed the boys hands trying to create some heat out of nothing.

Just then a nurse followed by his dad came in the room.

"He's cold...do you have another blanket or something?"

"Course, I'll bring one in," she said smiling after she checked Sam's monitors.

**~S/D~**

"What's taking them so damn long?" Dean asked pacing the small room once again.

An hour ago they took Sam away for another scan and said something about his ears which only made Dean and John's panic grow to a whole new level.

"Dean just sit down please," John stressed losing his patience.

"I can't," was Dean's reply as he went on to walk the room again.

"Dean, please just sit still, I can't even think when you pace so loud."

"And I keep thinking when I sit still."

"What are you talking about? Is this about what the doctor said? Dean he was a douche, I put him in his place and now we can just concentrate on getting Sam better."

"No dad, he was right, this is all my fault! I had this nagging feeling since Sam blacked out and I was too much of a coward to even tell you he needed a hospital! This is all my fault, I don't deserve a brother, all I do is get people hurt."

"Dean don't start with this, it's been almost half a year and it was your idea we take Sam in-"

"Exactly! And you were right, this is just gonna end in a disaster! If it's not this time then it'll be the next or the next or the-"

"I get it! And stop it! He's fine Dean, this wasn't your fault! If you need someone to blame then blame me, I'm the one who said let's not take him here cause there's nothing wrong with him...it's me Dean, and next time we'll make sure okay, if you have a feeling then you tell me and we're gonna make sure Sam gets better. Just stop pacing or I might have to tie you to the freakin chair."

"Fine!" Dean yelled sitting down with a huff, but he didn't follow his dad's instructions entirely , he was still going to blame himself whether he liked it or not.

"Dean, stop it okay, when he wakes up Sam is gonna need you so you can't let any of this crap slip cause he'll freak, he needs you Dean, whether you choose to believe it or not, Sam needs you just as much as you need him."

Dean managed a quick nod then went back to his own thoughts, he settled for pacing in his head instead.

**~S/D~**

"Mr Winchester?" Dr. Rowland asked coming in the room with a clipboard.

"Yeah?" John stood with his eldest son and they tapped their feet waiting for the verdict.

"Sam's awake..."

"And?" Dean pushed itching for the doctor to tell them.

"And, it's not as serious as I first though, the bleeding has stopped and the pressure has gone down, but I'm afraid it's done some lasting damage to Sam's ear canals."

"Wh-what does that mean?

"It means...there's a 70% chance Sam could be in pain for the rest of his life, even with painkillers."

"What's the other 30%?" John said calmly holding Dean back so he couldn't pound the walls right now.

"The other 30% could mean with a recent and improved surgery, Sam could get his hearing back."

_**TBC... **_

**Oh and the 70% 30% is very personal to me, so...it seemed to fit for Sam. **

**Hope I did myself good with that detail! **


	5. And now I'm trying to wake you up

**Santa's little helper-Bia**

**Beta-Eggylaine**

**Merry 10****th**** of December guys!! It's almost Christmas!!! I love Christmas!!! Hehe x **

* * *

**And now I'm trying to wake you up**

"Sam's awake..."

"And?" Dean pushed itching for the doctor to tell them.

"And, it's not as serious as I first thought, the bleeding has stopped and the pressure has gone down, but I'm afraid it's done some lasting damage to Sam's ear canals."

"Wh-what does that mean?

"It means...there's a 70% chance Sam could be in pain for the rest of his life, even with painkillers."

"What's the other 30%?" John said calmly holding Dean back so he couldn't pound the walls right now.

"The other 30% could mean with a recent and improved surgery, Sam could get his hearing back."

"He...uh...what?"

"Last time we spoke to a doctor he said there was no way in heaven or hell that Sam's ears could get better. What changed?"

"The blow to his head must have...knocked something loose, caused some reaction, but I'm not going to lie to you, I don't want you to get your hopes up, it's a very slim chance and the surgery will be expensive."

"What about our-?"

"And no, your insurance won't cover it, I'm sorry, I know it seems harsh but-"

'_If this douche says something like 'that's life and it's your fault anyway' I am gonna beat his ass for both my sons' sakes.' _

"We get it, look we'll just have to talk with Sam and we'll go from there, if he wants the surgery then we find some way to come up with the money."

Dean nodded agreeing with his dad, but with the shock he was going through, John was sure he would agree to jumping in a pile of horse manure right now.

"Dean, you with me son?" he asked placing a calming hand on his eldest's shoulder.

"I'm...I'm fine, I need to see Sammy."

"A nurse is taking him up as we speak, but he'll be groggy due to the medication, we were forced to sedate him when he became very agitated in the x-ray room."

John nodded in understanding, he could literally see the panic Sam must have been in when he woke up to no familiar faces and in a hospital no less.

"Here we are Sam, I told you Dean would be waiting here for you," a kind voice said as she and another nurse wheeled Sam in the room and put the brakes on.

"Sammy?" Dean asked smiling tearfully.

"I thought you understood he was deaf?" Dr. Rowland asked like they were stupid.

"He might be deaf but we still talk to him, just because he can't hear doesn't mean Sam doesn't understand what we're saying," John told him as Dean continued mumbling random comforting words to his dopey baby brother.

"Sammy, you're meant to keep your saliva in your mouth kiddo," Dean chuckled when Sam started to drool as his eye lids grew heavy.

"Here," the nurse smiled and wiped the small dribble from Sam's chin gently with a tissue.

"Thanks," Dean grunted uncomfortable, he just wanted a few minutes alone to take care of his brother without a thousand nosy faces in the way, was that too much to ask?

"Can we speak outside?" John asked practically pushing the doctor from the room after the nurse smiled once at them all and left.

Thankfully Dr. Ratbag...sorry, Rowland, left willingly and he and John left to talk more about Sam's options.

"Hey Sammy, how you holding up?" Dean asked smiling as he sat on the end of the kid's bed and ran his hand through his hair. "You need a bath stinky," he snorted trying to get a reaction from the very drowsy kid in front of him. "I guess you're pretty scared right now huh? Well don't worry cause you're gonna be fine, nothing will happen to you while I'm here."

Sam couldn't see much, he knew it was Dean, he could feel the warm hand through his bangs and the vibrations from the deepening voice go through him like a calming wave. He had no idea what Dean was saying, hell for all he knew he was talking about eggs and bacon, but somehow, like always, he knew Dean wouldn't let anything happen to him, Dean was here and he was going to be safe now. So he let himself drift off into the sleep that had been calling his name since he woke up in that bright white room.

"Just sleep Sammy, I'm not going anywhere."

**~S/D~**

"So, what did he say?" Dean anxiously pushed when his dad walked through the door.

"Most of it was a load of doctor mumbo jumbo but long story short, if Sam doesn't get the surgery, he could be fine, he wouldn't hear but he'll live, or he could need regular checks on his ears but apparently he should have had a regular doctor doing that anyway...and he'll be in pain for the rest of his life like he said, 50/50 on that one, or 35/35 cause I guess that's half the 70% he was talking about."

"And if he does have the surgery?"

"Well then he could be hearing and speaking within a few months..."

'_He's not telling me something...'_

"Or?" Dean pressed.

"Or they could rupture something in there and cause a massive bleed and..."

"H-he could die?" Dean choked.

"It's only a small chance Dean, a tiny chance that could happen, not even worth thinking about, that guy only said it cause he doesn't like me."

"So you're saying we have to choose between Sam being in pain...or the possibility of Sam hearing but run the risk of bleeding out on a freakin surgical table?!"

"Dean I know it sounds bad but-"

"Bad?! BAD?! Bad doesn't even begin to cover it!! This is just...this is like some sick freak playing out Sam's worst nightmare and making us live it for kicks!"

"Dean, I know okay, I know, it's bad, its worse than bad, it just plain sucks that it's Sam again but you have to pull it together! He deserves to know what's going on with his own head and you and I both know you need to be the one that tells him, and if you freak out..."

"He'll freak out too..." Dean whispered understanding what his dad was saying.

"Exactly, so just take a breath, wait till Sam wakes up and then we'll talk to him, deal?"

Dean nodded swallowing back the building tears.

John saw the pain and sadness in his son's eyes, how torn they were already. He wrapped his arms round him for the first time in a long time and held Dean close, comforting his boy with no sergeant major screaming in his head to drop the chick flick.

"He'll be fine son, he's a fighter, you said it yourself, people don't give Sam enough credit for that."

Dean nodded and pulled out of the guy hug, he rubbed his eyes trying to disguise the tears then went back over to Sam, sat on the nearest chair taking the kids clammy hand in his own and waited for Sam to wake up, but he hoped the kid would be asleep long enough for him to practise what he was going to say.

'_How the hell do I tell him he might die?'_

"Dean...with what Sam's like with money...let's not tell him about the cost of this thing."

"Yes sir," Dean nodded, Sam needed to decide for himself on the health side of things and not be thinking about money when he was making his decision. "What if he says no?" Dean asked when his dad made himself comfortable on the other chair.

"Well then we respect his decision and let him move on."

"And what if he says yes?"

"We support him and let him know that he's gonna be fine."

"What if he doesn't know?"

"Rock paper scissors," John said almost robotically then hoped the joke came across, when he saw Dean's face light up in a snorting grin he smiled back. "Dean I don't know what's gonna happen, but I do know whatever Sam chooses you'll be there to help him out of the crap like you always are."

"You get that poetic line from Oprah?"

"Shut up," John whined playfully pushing Dean almost off the chair.

They sat making fun of each other like the old days for a few more minutes then went back to sitting in silence, listening to the rhythmic beeping of Sam's machines.

**~S/D~**

"Sammy? You waking up? Hey look at me," Dean coached gently holding Sam's chin towards him so Sam was looking his way. _**"Hey, how you are doing?"**_

Sam blinked a few times and for a second Dean was worried Sam couldn't remember him, but when Sam let out a choking sob and curled away from Dean it all became clear.

'_He hates me for taking him to this place.' _

"Dean don't, he's just waking up in a scary place, just talk to him, he's fine," John pushed stepping back giving his boys some space.

"_**Hey, hey I know you're scared but I told you you're safe, I'm right here,"**_ Dean signed when he walked to the other side of the bed so he could see Sam's face. "Sam please look at me."

But he wouldn't, he didn't know what to do, he just knew he was scared and he wanted it all to go away.

"Dad, something's wrong with him," Dean stressed looking up when he got nothing from the kid.

"Yeah, he's terrified and he needs his big brother to make him feel better, just keep talking to him Dean, he'll listen eventually."

Dean nodded, trusting his dad was right. "Everything's gonna be fine Sammy, you'll see, sshh, it's okay," he soothed keeping his hand in Sam's hair as he perched himself back on the edge of the bed. He hoped Sam would hook his fingers through the loops of his jeans and hold on tight like he did sometimes when he was scared and needed to make sure Dean wasn't going anywhere, but still, nothing, Sam just laid curled up crying silently to himself almost ignoring the warm hand through his hair. "Ssshh, I know, you're gonna be fine Sammy, ssshh, don't cry."

John could do nothing but sit there feeling like a third wheel, he contemplated leaving to get some coffee, leave the boys in peace, but when he caught the look of desperation in Dean's eyes he decided against it. "He'll be fine Dean, he always is, you're doing good kiddo, he just needs time."

**~S/D~**

"Sam, come on you gotta at least look at me, please?"

It was day 2 and half in the hospital, Sam had yet to make eye contact with anyone. He wasn't eating much and only drank when he was forced to by John or Dean. There was even talk about a psychic evaluation soon if he didn't make a connection with the real world in the next few days.

"Sam, come on, just...sit up at least? Please? I'm begging you here kiddo, please just look alive," Dean begged for the millionth time that day. He was kneeling down, bent in Sam's vision, his face soft and pleading hoping to get something other than tears from Sam. "Sammy, please..." he begged as his own tears started streaming, his dad was out getting caffeine so he could finally let the moisture go.

Just then...finally, finally at last, Sam's eyes flickered to life and he looked at Dean crying.

His face seemed to say, 'don't cry, it's okay,' just like Dean had been telling him for the last 2 days.

"Sammy? Please talk to me?" he begged one last time cupping the kid's damp cheek. "Tell me what's going on with you, why are you so scared?"

But when Dean said that, Sam's eyes turned dead again and he went back to locking himself in his own head.

Dean let out a long shaky sigh then went back to sitting quietly rubbing his hand up and down Sam's arm.

"Any luck?" John asked coming in with coffee and food.

"No, nothing," Dean whispered lowering his head in shame.

"If there's one person that can bring Sam round, it's you Dean."

"Yeah...and still I got nothin'!" Dean yelled throwing his arms in the air.

"He's still in there son, screw what doctors say, he's still here and we're gonna bring him back."

"I hope so..."

**~S/D~**

"No, no way, just cause he's not talking and he's scared doesn't make him crazy, go find some real nut job to do a lobotomy on if you're that bored!!"

"Mr. Winchester-"

"You heard me! No! Now get the hell out!" John screamed and Dr. Rowland took off running. "That get anything from the kid?" John asked going back to his casual gruff voice like that was all an act.

"Nope, not even a flinch," Dean huffed, that always used to work, Sam was shit scared when John yelled, why hasn't he even moved?

John grunted under his breath then sat down with a huff.

"Dad what if-"

"If you say what if he stays like this for the rest of his life I'm gonna kick your ass."

Dean huffed too, then nodded, giving up was not an option, Winchesters are too stubborn to give up.

"_**Sammy, come on we need to talk to you, please...it's important."**_

But still nothing.

"Get some sleep Dean, we'll try tomorrow, make sure Sam knows it's the last day in here."

"If Dr. Asshole signs the papers."

"He will, trust me," only Dean could hear the threat in his father's voice, but he nodded and trusted him. "Get some sleep kiddo."

Dean nodded again and leaned down on the end of Sam's bed, he put his head on his arms and closed his eyes, _'another restless sleep and crappy wakeup call, here I come.'_

"Night Sammy."

**~S/D~**

"_**Come on Sam, last day in this dump if you acknowledge me, please, we can go back on the road, we can have that talk about...some stuff you need to know...please?"**_

Sam blinked.

"_**Okay, when you're ready, I'm here."**_

Dean patted his arm then sat back in the chair with an old magazine and pretended he was reading.

Sam took a few minutes...breathing in and out as he stayed absolutely still, yet seemed to come out from his protective curled up ball.

"Sam?" Dean asked and his face lit up.

Then after the longest 15 seconds of Dean's life, Sam brought up his weak hands and sighed, _**"I remember everything...and I don't want to."**_

"............"

"_**You can't even make it go away...."**_

"Oh Sammy...oh god...dad was right...you hit your head and it knocked all that loose...oh god Sammy I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Dean cried pulling Sam up in a tight hug and they cried together.

Sam whimpered in sorrow clinging to Dean's shirt as the older one leaped up on the bed and tugged Sam towards his chest tucking his hair under his chin and let the boy cry out some of the misery he thought he locked in tight.

"Dean?" John asked coming in the room and freezing on the spot at the sight of his crying sons.

"H-he remembers everything..."

"What do you mean?"

"What do you think?" Dean asked then went back to holding Sam tight and rocking the distraught kid.

"Oh god...oh no Sammy," John rushed to the bed, screw alone time for them, he needed to look after his sons.

He pulled them both to him and arranged it so they were both holding onto each other but holding onto him as well.

"This will get better I promise boys, it won't always be like this."

**~S/D~**

"Sam's doing remarkably well, the pressure on his brain is now gone, he might experience some headaches and dizziness and if it gets too much, bring him back here and we can check if the pressure has built up again."

"What about his hearing? What's gonna happen with that?" Dean asked before his dad could.

"Well, that's really up to Sam, if and when he does decide on surgery then I can arrange it for him but until then, there's really nothing I can do except prescribe pain meds and tell him to get some rest."

"So...he's okay...but he said-"

"Some doctors, especially Dr. Rowland like to blow things out of proportion, Sam seems to be doing well and I haven't seen any lasting side effects from the concussion, so he's free to go, unless he's made a decision?"

"We haven't told him yet...kinda waiting for the right time...right place and all that," John told him and the nice doctor nodded in understanding.

"If you'd like to sign on this dotted line you guys can go home."

"Yeah...home," Dean snorted and for a second John thought he was mad at him like before, for not having a home and not having much of a life, but when he saw Dean and Sam's light chuckling he shook his head at the pair and went back to signing the release form.

"Thanks doc, we'll be in touch," John said shaking his hand as he got given a card for his office phone.

"Yeah, thanks," Dean was next to shake the man's hand then with some help and gentle coaching he managed to get Sam to nod a thank you. "Come on Sammy, let's go," Dean pushed the wheelchair Sam was sitting in and decided on running down the halls and speeding towards the lift with staff tutting at them as Sam giggled for the first time in weeks.

'_Don't get your mood up too high Dean, hard part is yet to come,'_ he reminded himself thinking of how the hell they were going to tell Sam about what his diagnosis was, as far as the kid knew, he had a bad concussion that brought some old memories back to the surface and that's it.

'_So Sam, the doctors say you need to take meds for the rest of your life to keep the headaches away and regular scans on your ears to make sure they're not bleeding, oh and you could get your hearing back, like 1% chance with a new posh operation thing, but you could die, and we have no money __whatsoever__ to pay for it...yeah, that's gonna go down a storm.' _

_**TBC...**_

**I want/dying to write a Christmas chapter...any ideas?**

**Prezzies the boys get? Food? Where they have it?**


	6. Truth will out

**Santa's little helper's include-**

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**Thank you guys so much for the Xmas ideas!! Mwah x **

**Truth will out**

"Get Sam in bed, we'll talk when he wakes up, deal?" John said to his son who was carrying a dead to the world Sam into the motel room.

"Yeah okay," Dean whispered setting the boy down on the bed furthest from the door like always.

Thankfully Sam still had his sweats on from the hospital so all Dean had to do was pull his sneakers off and tuck him in tight.

"I'm gonna run out, get some food and things Sam likes, pizza sound good for tonight?"

"Make sure you don't get-"

"Anchovies I know, Dean I know these things okay, I'm the dad remember," John whispered giving his son sympathetic eyes, the poor kid wasn't going to let Sam out of his sight for months this time, is he?

-"I just wanted to make sure, Sam looked like he was gonna puke last time he ate one, just wanted to-"

"I know Dean, I know you're looking out for him but we can't wrap him up in cotton wool for the rest of his life now, he's gotta live son."

Dean nodded as John squeezed his shoulder then left quietly.

"What am I gonna do with you huh kid?" Dean asked Sam as he looked down at the sleepy boy curled up with his stuffed dog.

**~S/D~**

"Okay, what we're about to tell you...it's scary but we...Sam listen up, when you hit your head the doctors...Sammy I'm really sorry but the doctors said...Sammy, I would give anything not to tell you this but..."

"Dean? What are you doing?" John asked poking his head through the bathroom door making Dean jump.

"Damn it, don't do that!" Dean yelled grunting at his father and the rude interruption of his speech practise.

"Dean you can't rehearse what you're gonna say to Sam."

"Well I don't see you coming up with any better ideas so shut up," Dean growled.

"Dean I know this is hard but that's no reason to be an ass, you're not too young to be grounded you know!"

"Sorry...just let me practise in peace please," Dean pleaded, he had no clue what else to do and he had no clue where to start so he thought he'd practise before he told Sam, that way he could lower the chance of saying something completely stupid and scaring Sam even more.

He took a few deep breaths when John left him, then looked in the bathroom mirror once again and went to talk to himself.

"Sammy, the doctors say you have a 30%/70% chance...we think...the doc was an asshole and might have been lying to us...oh for fuck sake! Sam you might die! You might freakin die on me and it's all my fault!" he screamed at himself as tears ran down his face from saying those words out loud for the first time. "FUCK!" he yelled hitting the sink with his fists hard, purposely wanting a bruise there for some reason.

"Dean? Son..." his dad whispered from behind him and as his legs sunk and he lowered himself to the floor, still keeping hold of the sink and he buried his head in his arms trying to hide the fact that he was crying. "Dean, you can't do this to yourself, the hunt is a dangerous job, you know that, hell Sam knows that, he chose to go out there that night like he always does because he's damn good at hunting and he's one of the toughest, bravest, kindest kids we know. He went out there because he knows he can help save people doing what we do. You have nothing to feel guilty about, if Sam knew how much you were torturing yourself right now he'd kick your ass."

"But he doesn't know...cos he's freakin asleep and probably having another nightmare from all that crap he remembers cos of-"

"If you say cos of you, I'll be the one kicking your ass," John warned putting a hand on his sons shoulder and squeezing tight telling Dean silently things were going to be okay.

"Sorry..." Dean mumbled coming out his hiding and wiping his face off quick.

John pulled his son up into a standing again and made him come from the bathroom, _'no way am I leaving him in there alone to mope again.'_

"You can practise in your head out here," he told Dean pushing him to the bed he usually sleeps on next to his sons.

After just seconds he saw signs of Dean thinking as he mouthed some random words to himself and looked down at his hands signing the words too.

John would have stopped him, told him to tell Sam once and not practise it like he was trying to, but he thought he'd leave the boy to it this time.

He was about to go do something useful like start on cooking the pizza he'd just bought when Sam whimpered in his sleep.

Dean shot up, by his baby brother's side before anyone could even blink.

"Sssh Sammy, it's just a bad dream, open your eyes kiddo," he cooed and soon enough Sam's eyes fluttered open. "Hey," Dean smiled as he brushed Sam's hair away from his eyes.

Sam opened his mouth and offered a tiny toneless, 'hello' back which Dean grinned at.

"So...Sammy...um..."

'_Come on Dean...come on kid just tell him...please...' _John begged his son.

"Ah...you wanna watch some TV?" Dean asked faking a grin as he pressed the power button, weakly smiled and ran from the room before Sam could even nod yes or no.

"_**Be right back Sammy, it's okay,"**_ John promised as he ran after his eldest.

"_**What did I do?"**_ Sam signed to himself not paying any attention to the screen at all, only watching the door intently.

"Dean? Dean, stop!" John yelled as he watched him march across the parking lot.

Dean turned to look at his dad and when he saw the look of disappointment he walked back over to the safe sidewalk and sat on the bench that was calling his name.

"Dean what was that?" John asked trying his best not to bark as he sat down too.

"I was thinking...maybe we don't tell Sam...not yet, we'll wait when he's stronger and the nightmares are better."

"Dean no-"

"Dad! I'm serious! I won't be the one to give him any more bad dreams!"

"Dean, listen to me, I know how you feel okay, I do-"

"No you don't!"

"Yes Dean I do! I've been there! I watched my brother get sicker and sicker for 5 months till he gave up on himself!"

"W-what?...brother? Y-y-ou...you had a brother?" Dean gasped.

"Yeah...used to...Luke was about 17 when he started turning yellow, he missed weeks off school, I didn't really take much notice, too busy with sports and having fun to really….Was only when he got rushed to hospital that I saw how sick he was...the doctors figured out he had some sort of liver disease but...it was at a time that they didn't know much about liver conditions, he got sent home when he was a little better and then we waited and waited and waited..."

Dean's mouth was so dry as he hung it open in shock, his dad was talking to him...for real, for the first time ever! And it sucked so much that this is what the topic of their first real deep conversation was.

"...5 months of bullying from other kids...some I called my friends, they all thought Luke couldn't handle his drink and that's why his liver was shutting down. I was probably the worst brother you could imagine, I joined in sometimes, calling him Umpa Lumpa like those things in Charlie and chocolate factory. He was my little brother and I just acted like I didn't care. But the worst part was...knowing what was wrong, knowing he was just waiting for this new surgery to come in and he would be fixed...but our parents thought it would be best if we didn't tell him he was dying. Then one day...I came home from football practise and I found him on the bathroom floor...dead."

"Dad...." was all Dean said and he really didn't know why he said that but he let his father carry on.

"He left a note, said he just couldn't do it anymore, he couldn't handle being in the dark not knowing when would be the day this disease took him. I don't blame him...I blame myself for not looking out for him, for not telling him the truth, for making his life hell rather than accepting my responsibility as a big brother."

Neither of them acknowledged the fact that they were both crying as they sat on the cold bench outside their room.

"Dad I...I'm sorry..." Dean cried looking forward, not being able to make eye contact.

"That's why I was so against Sam coming to live with us at first...I didn't want you to have to go through the pain I went through when I lost Luke. But...that was years ago...but I can't lie to that boy anymore Dean, he deserves to know, he's not gonna die from lies, I won't let that happen, so either you go in there and tell him right now, or I'm doing it for us both."

"I-I...o-okay...t-thanks dad."

"For what?" John asked rubbing a rough hand down his face clearing the tears.

"Just...thanks...you coming? I can't do this by myself...Sam might need you."

"I'm coming son," John promised and he knew that was code for, 'I need you.' "Let's go," John said standing with his eldest and they both went back to the room where Sam was waiting for them.

"Sorry Sammy, I'm here now," Dean said first, without the fake smile this time, not bothering to try and hide his red eyes.

"_**What's wrong? Is this cos of the hospital? did I do something? Is that the thing you needed to tell me?"**_ Sam rambled out and Dean just shook his head as he sat down on the end of the bed and held Sam's hand in his own.

"_**Sammy, I need to tell you something, and it's gonna sound scary but I want you to know I won't let anything happen to you..."**_ and that was as far as Dean got before he broke down and the sobs were set free.

Sam was just left to sit there as Dean sunk his head to his lap and cried. The boy pulled up his hand and placed it on top of Dean's cropped hair trying to comfort him like his big brother always did for him.

"Dean, Dean come on son pull it together for Sam, Dean," John forced as he rubbed his sons back trying to get him to talk to Sam, he knew it would be better if Dean was the one telling him, promising him nothing would go wrong, but it seemed his tough as rock kid was crumbling right before him.

Sam was now getting himself worked up as he watched Dean sob into his covers and he needed to know what was so bad that even Dean was this sad.

Dean felt tears from his baby brother drop on the back of his neck and he hated himself even more.

"Dean sit up, come on," John pulled him up and forced him to look at Sam. _**"Okay, Sammy, like Dean said, this is scary but you're gonna be fine okay?" **_John said and he could feel his hands shaking already, _'god no wonder Dean is so upset, I'm about to tell Sam he might die!'_ "Okay...now when you hit your head, you know it made you remember all about your past?"

Sam nodded just barely, too distracted by Dean who was still crying but silently now as he squeezed his hand tight in comfort.

"_**Well Sam, the doctors have found out that it also knocked something inside your ears, that's why you're having so many headaches kiddo...and well, it might be that you're going to have these headaches for the rest of your life, and the doctors also want you to go for check up scans every few months just to make sure your ears are still okay. And also...they found a new operation and it if you have it then **__**it might mean **__**you'll be able to hear...no more dizziness, no headaches anymore, no scans...but...the thing is..."**_

'_Okay, deep breaths John...he seems okay-ish with the rest...so him freaking out over this one thing out of the whole load of crap might not be so bad.'_

"_**Sammy, this operation sounds great but if it was to go wrong...and it might...then you might not make it son."**_

Sam choked a sob and his nails started to dig into Dean's hand as he gripped tight like a vice.

"_**Sammy this is up to you okay, if you don't ever want to consider this operation then we'll back you up the whole way, and if you do want it then that's fine too, whatever you wanna do we're here okay," **_John told him as he cupped the back of the boy's head.

Sam pushed himself up and let himself lean on Dean then signed,_** "Dad, Dean....I'm scared..."**_ and Dean leaped in for a tight hug like he was protecting his baby brother from the world.

John was still shocked Sam had signed 'dad' towards him...but he shook it off and just went to comfort his boys.

"I know...it's all gonna be okay, nothings gonna happen to either of you."

"You're not Luke...Sammy you are not gonna be my Luke, I swear!" Dean spat at whoever was to blame for all this mess.

_**TBC...**_

**Thank you soooo much darlings!! Mwah x **


	7. Things will work out

**Santa's little helper's include-**

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**Things will work out**

"_**Dad, Dean....I'm scared..."**_ and Dean leaped in for a tight hug like he was protecting his baby brother from the world.

John was still shocked Sam had signed 'dad' towards him...but he shook it off and just went to comfort his boys.

"I know...it's all gonna be okay, nothing's gonna happen to either of you."

"You're not Luke...Sammy you are not gonna be my Luke, I swear!" Dean spat at whoever was to blame for all this mess.

That night all three of them slept better than they had in months, after John convinced Sam to let him go that was. He pushed both the double beds together for them all when he knew Sam was going to need all the support he could get when it was lights out.

Next in his plan was getting Sam to get cleaned up. It took a bit of nudging and poking but Sam finally moved from the bed with Dean guiding him all the way to the bathroom. After his big brother ever so gently pushed bits of cotton wool in the kids ears protecting them from water Sam got himself in the shower and started washing away the week's worth of grime. Careful of his still itchy stitches Sam lathered the shampoo up in his hair and watched the dirt wash down the drain.

He had himself a nice long shower and only realised how long he'd been when he stepped out of the tub and wrapped himself in the warm towel Dean had put on the radiator for him. He got dressed in some clean clothes and smiled at how much better he felt when he walked from the bathroom where Dean was waiting anxiously for him. When the older kid saw his brother was fine and hadn't done anything...silly, like he'd done in the past when he was left alone in a shower room, he got himself some clean bed clothes and went to get a shower himself.

Dean rushed with the soap and was out before Sam or John could blink which was weird for Dean but not when he was more concerned about his baby brother than his own hygiene.

John was last, he got right in the spray and didn't even curse or complain when he felt all the hot water was gone. He laughed as he shivered and wrapped himself up in the wet towel the boys had previously used.

When he emerged from the now rather chilly bathroom he saw the lights were off, the TV was on, and the remote was limp in Dean's hand as he slept with an arm wrapped protectively round Sam who was also snoring away.

John gently took the remote from Dean's hand and set it on the table by the telly as he pressed the power off switch on the front side of the screen.

He pulled up the covers round his boys and got under them himself at the spare end of the makeshift super queen bed.

"Night boys," he said closing his eyes. "Crap..." he whispered just as he was about to drop off, he took a look at his watch and gulped, "19th already, damn..." he said as he saw the date. He closed his eyes taking note to ring round some people in the morning before the boys woke up, he had no idea how but he would make this Christmas a good one, Sam probably hadn't had one since he was 6 and Dean certainly hasn't had one since he was about that age. He thought screw his own hard-ass act and feelings over his late wife that always seem to creep up a notch this time of year, Christmas was for kids anyway, not for him to mope about how terrible his life was. No, this year he was going to do it right, and along the way they were going to teach Sam that Winchesters were too stubborn to let some pansy doctor hold them back in life, it was going to work out for them all, it had to, no way it couldn't, everything would work out in the end he was sure of it. But right now he had the slightly smaller problem of how he was going to get a turkey on the table in just 6 days. _'And Christmas pudding...we gotta have some of that...and pie for Dean...huh, wonder what desert is Sam's favourite?'_

**~S/D~**

"Dean, Dean wake up," John whispered shaking his eldest careful not to wake Sam, he sure would get it in the neck if he woke that sleeping angel up, that kid was _NOT_ a morning person that's for sure.

"Dad wha...?"

"Come on, time to get up, we got some packing to do, times-a-wastin'."

Dean grumbled under his breath when his father didn't stop shaking his shoulder so he opened one eye and looked up not too happy to be woken up so early.

"Where we goin'?" he asked cold when he felt the anger build up as he looked at the half packed bags at the end of the bed.

"Away from this dump, motels are no place for Christmas son," he told Dean with a happy smirk.

"Huh?" Dean asked when his dad said the taboo word starting with a C.

"We got the cabin for Christmas Dean," John smiled, his bright teeth lighting the room and it was freaking Dean out.

'_Okay since when was he Mr. Sunshine about Christmas, and since when did he start saying that word?!'_

"Dean, you with me? I said we got the cabin."

"The cabin?...You mean..._THE_ cabin?" Dean grinned sitting right up careful not to wake his brother.

"_THE_ cabin," John affirmed, his grin matching Dean's by now.

"Awesome," Dean almost shouted as he leaped from the bed and went straight for Sam's bag first to start packing the kid's stuff.

"You got this?" John asked as he picked up his coat.

"I got it," he told his dad knowing he was going to find a diner for some breakfast and junk for the road, it was a fair few hours to _THE_ cabin. "We're going to the cabin Sammy, oh yeah," he smirked to himself as he watched his baby brother sleep soundly and he packed the bag neatly.

**~S/D~**

"Okay, you boys warm enough?" John asked knowing the Impala's heater was good but he just wanted to make sure as he zipped up Dean's jacket higher, getting a grunt from his son.

"Yes," he smiled sarcastically, "Sammy's gloves and hat are on the backseat anyway," Dean told his dad as they closed both the trunks.

"What about yours?" John questioned knowing Dean thought about everyone else, especially Sam, before himself, and Sam wouldn't like to hear that was going on still, it frustrated the kid to no end, but then again, Sam thought about everyone else first as well, it was shocking how alike they were.

"In the backseat too, I swear."

"Good, now you kids be careful and drive safe, no cool guy show off crap, its icy up there and you know what happened last time."

"You mean when you tried to be all macho in front of Bobby and went straight down the hill backwards?" Dean asked with his classic angel smirk.

"Yeeesss," John groaned in embarrassment. "I gotta make a quick stop on the way there but you boys keep going, I'll meet you at the lodge when I get there. Oh and Bobby said Caleb left some wood last time and the axe is still in the shed so if we need any more wood for the fire we're all sorted."

"Good, cos it's freakin' freezing up there this time of the year."

John laughed as Dean shivered unconsciously then he patted his son on the back silently telling him well done for handling all this so well, at least for now and for Sam.

"See ya boys," he said then waved to Sam who was getting comfy in Impala's passenger seat with the heater on full.

"_**You good Sammy?"**_ Dean asked as he got in the driver's seat.

Sam nodded carefully knowing his head still hurt sometimes if he shook it too hard.

"Good," Dean smiled as he started the engine and drove after John who was already out of the parking lot and on the main road.

**~S/D~**

"Sammy asleep?" Dean asked at 9:32pm.

"Yeah, snoring like a little piglet," John laughed down the phone.

"Um...listen dad...are you sure he's gonna be okay?"

"Dean, he's gonna be fine, he's got his big brother watching out for him."

Dean snorted at the irony.

"Dean don't, you know you could have done nothing more than you did, he doesn't blame you because it wasn't your fault okay, it's mine for taking you both along in the first place, from now on I go on a hunt first by myself, if I'm 1000000% sure it's safe for you boys then you can come."

"Dad...no hunt is safe, hell pillow cases are lethal if they're used the wrong way."

"No ghosts for a long time then at least," John joked.

"You get what you wanted?" Dean asked changing the subject.

"Yeah, we got the stuff."

"Sammy get anything?"

'_Yeah!' _"Nope," he lied.

"Huh...he sure was up for shopping when I told him you were going to get some crap."

"Don't know, maybe he just wanted to show Brownie the inside of my truck," John laughed and Dean followed soon after.

"Yeah, maybe," he chuckled as the images of Sam taking his stuffed pet dog on a tour of his dad's truck went through his mind. When the laughs died down, "how much longer dad?" Dean asked yawning loud then cursing himself when he did, if it was more than an hour's drive away from the cabin by now his dad was going to make them pull in for the night with that yawn.

"About 3 hours, come on, we're pulling in for the night, you sound beat."

'_I knew it...'_ "I'm fine," Dean tried but the yawn at the end was such a contradiction he had to laugh himself.

"Next motel, we're pulling in young man," John told his eldest firm but kind.

"Yes sirrrrr..." he yawned knowing by now his dad was right, if Sam was in the car then he would give in instantly, not ever wanting to endanger his baby brother but he was in the safety of a wide awake guys car so he wasn't too bothered right now. "There's one at the next turn in...looks pleasant," Dean joked taking a look round the empty place as he turned in and looked in his mirror watching his dad do the same.

"I'll get us a room, you get Sam and yourself a change of clothes for the night, we can leave the rest of the crap in the cars."

"Yes sir," and with that both of them hung up. John went to the front office and Dean went to the truck to wake his brother. He helped Sam get down from the high vehicle then handed the kid a change of sweats for the two of them and his dad.

"Room 123, right there," John said coming from the office minutes later. Dean pulled Sam into his side as the little kid shivered whilst walking to their new home for the next few hours. He pushed off his sneakers, jeans, coat and shirt then put on the sweats Dean handed him, curled on the bed and waited for them to turn the light off so he could go to sleep once more.

"Night Sammy," Dean whispered as he got under the covers himself and his baby brother.

"Night boys," John said smiling at this plan, Sam had no clue where they were heading, Dean was so happy you would think he was going to Disneyland. He had managed to tattle tale his way into getting some old cooking books of Mary's that he salvaged from the fire and had kept in his storage lock up. He'd given Sam enough money to go looking for a gift for Dean earlier when his eldest was waiting at the garage for them.

Everything was in place and he now needed to make his hyper on coffee brain to shut up so he could get some sleep.

'_Huh...wonder where the hell I'll get some baking trays...man I think Dean better take care of the food side of things.'_

"_John Winchester I swear you could burn water."_

"_Hey I know how to work a toaster woman!"_

"_Barely."_

He smiled as he remembered his wife's laugh.

_**TBC...**_


	8. Driving home for Christmas

**Santa's little helper's include-**

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**Driving home for Christmas**

John sneaked out of his bed, he made sure his boys were deep in sleep so they wouldn't wake up as he slipped his boots on, left a note then crept out of the motel room and to his truck.

He drove as quietly as he could as he pulled out of the parking lot hoping his boys wouldn't wake up and catch him in his wannabe Santa act.

"3 more hours to get there, 2 hours shopping and an hour to get the place ready...man I hope the boys are still asleep for the next 5 hours at least," he said to himself as he turned on the radio and tried to find a good station to get himself in the Christmas mood.

**~S/D~**

"Sammy, come on dude get up," Dean chuckled as his baby brother grumbled, trying to keep his bed covers on that his brother was pulling off. "Come on Sammy, wakey wakey eggs and bakey!" Dean cheered.

Sam huffed, unimpressed by Dean's impression of the much despised alarm clock, his hair was all over the place and he was so comfy he didn't want to move from the bed ever. But he was damn happy that he knew all those things added up to a good sleep.

"_**That's my boy!"**_ Dean grinned handing Sam some jeans and the kid was dressed in his hat and gloves raring to go as much as Dean within minutes. He saw how happy Dean was about where ever they were off to so it meant he was just as happy, if not for himself, then certainly for Dean.

When they walked out the door Sam noticed something was missing.

"_**Where's dad?"**_ he asked Dean and it was a complete shock at how that seemed to roll off the finger tips for Sam all of a sudden.

"_**He woke up early and went to the cabin to get it warm for us when we get there,"**_ Dean told him after he got over his shock.

Sam nodded saying, 'oki doki then,' and they got in the car and set off. It was like a breath of fresh air for Dean, no hunting worries, no crappy motels in the freezing cold, and a happy nightmare free little brother he couldn't be more proud of at the moment.

"_**Hey Sammy?"**_

"_**Yeah?"**_

'_I love you little brother...'_ _**"You warm enough?"**_

Sam nodded smiling as he leaned his head on his big brothers shoulder as they sped down the highway, windscreen wipers on the go for the snow that was coming down heavy.

**~S/D~**

Dean drove up the hill and laughed at the note left for him on the 'warning, wild animals' sign at the bottom of the long drive, **'take the hill steady Dean,'** it said in his dad's handwriting.

"Holy crap, somebody went all out the last time they were here," Dean gasped when he saw the huge colourful lights hanging a little wonky all round the top of the wooden shack he'd named his favourite place since he was 5.

But then they saw John standing right at the door with a huge arsenal of snowballs by his side.

"_**Sammy, go low, I'll cover you,"**_ Dean signed under the dashboard so his dad wouldn't see and Sam nodded once trying not to laugh as he crept out of the car, used his door as a shield and got to the ground laughing his ass off as Dean charged John and got a face full of freezing cold snow.

He balled up his own attempt at a snowball and laughed as he stood and ran for John aiming perfectly in the old man's growing beard.

Sam soon got the hang of how to make a snowball well, packing them hard as he aimed at Dean's butt where he knew it wouldn't hurt, he wanted to have fun but he didn't want to hurt anyone.

"Hey! You're meant to be on my team!" Dean whined with a wide mouth so Sam could read his lips well, gloves weren't the best to sign with.

Sam giggled at Dean's pout and tossed another one his way as John started attacking his eldest too.

"This is so unfair dudes!" Dean cried trying to hide in the trees surrounding the cabin.

Sam carried on aiming at John and Dean who dodged a few but not many.

"I think we taught him too well," Dean laughed when he received another pile of snow on his backside.

Sam was having the time of his life running round like he was a little kid again but soon got suspicious when he figured they hadn't aimed at him once.

Dean then chose his moment to go sneak up behind his brother and pat a nice big fluffy snowball on the kid's head. Truth be told it wasn't really a snowball at all, he didn't even try to pack it like he does when he hits his dad, he left that particular snow ball as soft as possible but made sure it was big so Sam's hair was covered.

The kid huffed and stomped his foot, unimpressed and unprepared.

"You----like---kiddo," Dean grinned and Sam barely got a thing with him moving all the time. "Oh---." Dean motioned to John for a time out then took his gloves off and kneeled down in front of a clearly upset Sam. _**"Sorry Sammy, I was just trying to make you feel...normal," **_he said regretting the word as soon as it left his finger tips_** "...sorry, did I hurt you?"**_ Dean rushed clearly getting worked up more than Sam.

Sam moved to go take his gloves off so Dean could understand him well but he was stopped and told no so he complied and just signed as best as he could.

"_**---didn't---what you said jerk!" **_Sam said and Dean tried to piece things together with the missing words.

"_**Sorry Sammy, you sure you're okay?" **_Dean asked once more when he figured Sam didn't understand him before when he was messing around like an idiot and not talking to Sam like he knew he should.

Sam nodded and faked looking glum...then raised his hand and flattened a huge snowball on Dean's head, laughing as the older boy jumped up squealing when it went down his back.

"I am sooooo gonna get you, you little bitch!" Dean mouthed loud and clear running after the little giggling snow haired kid.

John was left to watch them play tag in the snow like 5 year olds and he laughed leaning up against the porch not giving a damn.

"Run Forest run!" he shouted as Sam ducked the waves of snow Dean was tossing, he didn't have time to make snowballs so this would have to do!

**~S/D~**

"Come on, get out of those wet clothes and head up to the shower you two," John said helping Sam taking his soaked and uncooperative socks off.

"What about you?" Dean asked when his dad wasn't taking his clothes off like the two of them.

"I'm gonna go get some food," John said and he was out the backdoor quicker than Sam or Dean could ask him to expand on the details.

"Huh...okay that was weird," Dean mumbled as he pulled his jeans off and dumped them on the floor.

He helped his little brother take his clothes off and when they were both left in just their boxers and damp t-shirts they walked out of the small utility and straight to where Dean remembered the living room was.

"Holy..." he gasped when he saw.

Sam's eyes were lit up like the Christmas tree in the back corner of the room and Dean's were practically identical.

"_**Christmas is awesome!" **_Sam cheered jumping round like a little 5 year old dancing through all the trimmings.

"Alright you big goof, get a move on to the shower," Dean pushed Sam to the stairs and chuckled when Sam went skipping up them as happy as can be.

He heard Sam gasp when he went to get them changes of clothes and what not so he dropped all he had in his arms and ran for the door.

"Sammy?!" he yelled asking if the kid was okay. _'That little...'_ he said to himself as he watched Sam prance around in the bathroom that was a hell of a lot bigger than what they had grown accustomed too. _**"You done practising for dancing with the stars?"**_ Dean laughed as he went to go pick up the stuff he dropped.

"_**Thank you,"**_ Sam beamed as he took his own and set them down on the washing basket in the corner of the room.

"_**You're welcome, now hurry up I'm freezing my ass off here,"**_ Dean chuckled playfully swatting Sam on the backside with a towel as he left the kid in peace.

After about half an hour John still wasn't back but the boys were nice and warm in clean dry clothes as they walked down stairs.

"Running low on sticky tape dad?" Dean asked no one in particular as he saw half the trimmings now on the floor. Not to mention the ones still left standing for the lack of a better tern, they looked a little unfinished. In fact as cool as all the bright twinkly lights and tinsel were, they noticed half the tree lights were knotted in a ball on the floor.

"_**Let's get this place looking awesome,"**_ Dean said to his still jumping little brother motioning him to come and help make the place look right.

Sam was first to pick up the mess of lights, Dean switched them off at the wall and handed the socket to the kid laughing as he thought that his dad tried to hide the mess of lights round the back of the tree.

As Sam worked on unknotting the wires, sitting himself down in front of the fire, Dean went to go get a chair so he could reach the top of the archway where his dad had tried to hang a long line of tinsel.

"_**You good Sammy?"**_ he asked casually as he got down from the chair after fixing the hanging trimmings.

Sam nodded, smiling brighter than Dean had ever seen before so he left the kid to the lights and went to go hang up their wet clothes.

"Damn its cold," he heard his dad mumble from the front door.

"Hey dad..." Dean started but stopped when he saw Sam hugging John tight round is middle.

"What did I do?" John asked with a knotted brow as Sam squeezed him tight.

"Uh.....Sam?" he asked tapping the kid on the shoulder, worried the kid had gotten upset or something...but when he saw the face splitting smile he let out the breath he was holding.

"_**Thank you!"**_ Sam signed to them both then skipped off round the sofa to his lights again.

"Oookkaayyy," John snorted as he walked to the kitchen, Dean close in tow.

"Hey dad um..."

"Yeah?" John asked setting the bags down.

"Um...did you do all this?"

"Yeah I know the trimmings sucked but I was hoping with his natural gift for art...Sammy could salvage them when you boys got inside."

"Dad this um...thanks," Dean said a little awkwardly like this was a surprise to him and that kinda hurt John a little but he guessed he deserved it.

He shook it off and just got down to business.

"No problemo kiddo, now, seeing as Sammy looks to have the creative side of Christmas sorted...I was thinking you and me could attempt to cook a turkey."

"Huh?" '_Okay who is this guy and what has he done with my dad?'_

"A turkey, you know, those big bird things covered in feathers, they go _glug glug_?" John asked flapping his arms like a bird and only stopped when he heard Sam giggling at him.

"A turkey? You wanna cook a turkey?" Dean asked faking the horror.

"Well what else do you cook at Christmas? A hotdog?" John asked sarcastically as he took out the fresh breast of the bird he purchased 10 minutes ago.

"_**Sammy, he wants to cook a turkey, run away as fast as you can."**_

"Haha, I'm not that bad."

"Dad...trust me, you're _THAT_ bad," Dean nodded, wincing in memory of the awful efforts John would make once every few months trying to copy Bobby's recipes.

Sam shook his head at them bickering, he couldn't keep up with it and those lights were really nagging him so he plonked himself back down in front of the fire and worked on untangling the mess once again.

"I fou---in---place----Sa---ou---elp---cook---"

'_Huh....?' _

"Dee---mm?"

He waited for them to come, hoping they heard him like he heard himself and he waited for the goldfish bowl swooshing to stop.

'_What's happening to me?' _

**~S/D~**

They watched Sam happily skip away then went back to the problem in hand.

"Dad I don't even know how to cook a turkey, never mind you."

"Look, I found these books in my storage place, Sammy helped me pick them out from the box full of crap so the least you can do is help me cook the damn turkey, it can't be that hard."

"Deeem?" they heard a toneless but sweet voice ask so they dropped the bags and went to see what was wrong, Sam sounded kinda upset.

"_**Sammy you okay?" **_Dean asked, turning Sam round to face him.

'_Tell them!!! It's not like they're gonna leave you if you tell them you can hear something, they wouldn't think you didn't need them anymore if you started hearing like normal! Right?'_

"Sammy?" Dean asked once again and hoped the kid was okay, he prayed he was just being over dramatic.

"_**I'm fine, the lights were just annoying me," **_Sam lied as he turned back to his job.

Dean looked at his dad for help but his old man just shrugged letting Dean know he didn't have a clue.

"_**Sam you sure you're okay? Not got a headache have you?"**_ John asked when he made the kid turn back to them again.

'_YES!'_

"_**No, I'm fine,"**_ he smiled, lying through his back teeth.

"Dean go get him his pills," John said knowing the kid was lying his ass off, anyone else would have believed it, but it was a good job they knew Sam too well.

Dean was already half way there when Sam told them he was fine.

"Damn stubborn kid," he mumbled going to his car to get their bags they had yet to bring in the house. Sam's pills were tucked inside one of them and he knew exactly where they were, black duffle, inside, back pocket, right at the bottom.

He ran back in the house, kicked his boots off not caring for the snow on the floor, that could wait. He dumped the bags on the sofa and unzipped the black bag, fished through and in half a second he was in front of Sam with a white pill and a glass of water.

The kid looked awfully apologetic which Dean smiled at, telling him it was fine, as Sam took the pill and washed it down.

"_**You go sit down and watch some toons, I got these," **_Dean said about to take the lights from the kid but he got a nice grunt of frustration from him as Sam parked himself on the sofa but held the lights tight, he was determined to get these straightened out himself. **"Okay, somebody's a little grouchy," **Dean joked but Sam wasn't having it.

"Dean, come on, let's give him some space," John pulled his eldest away and back to the kitchen.

"Dad-"

"No Dean, you're gonna suffocate him, the doctors said headaches were normal for Sam, you can't wrap him up just because something might happen, let him be himself okay?"

Dean nodded, keeping his head to his chest.

"Come on, we got a turkey to figure out how to cook by tomorrow."

Dean nodded once again and went to pick up a dusty old cook book, trying to keep his mind off the screaming in his head that told him to watch Sam's every move.

"Turkey, turkey, turkey...." he said to himself as he looked down the index with one eye and kept his other on the living room.

"Whatcha getting Sammy for Christmas?" John asked trying to preoccupy his son.

"Man I totally didn't think about that, shit," he cursed biting his nails.

'_That worked,'_ John smirked to himself as Dean grabbed his coat and ran out the back door with his wallet.

"Hey Sammy how about you help with the-"

'_Oh....shit! Where the hell has he gone?!!'_

_**TBC...**_

**More coming real soon, I'm determined to get all these Christmas chapters posted before the 25****th****! It will sooooo be bad luck otherwise! **


	9. Light In The Darkness

**Santa's little helper's include-**

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**Light In The Darkness**

"Hey Sammy, how about you help with the-"

'_Oh....shit! Where the hell has he gone?!!'_

"Sammy?!" he yelled looking around when the kid wasn't where they left him, but then he saw a note.

"**Dean and dad, went out for a walk, don't be mad. Love Sammy."**

He sighed long and hard and wondered how the hell Sam got out and he prayed the kid had enough common sense to get a coat.

Thankfully as he looked round he saw both his and Sam's coat was missing. It looked like Dean was right, they had taught Sam too well, he had sneaked out of the front door and didn't shut it properly so it wouldn't make a bang. He shook his head and closed the door properly, hoping Sam was back before Dean was, or that kid was toast.

**~S/D~**

"What the hell can I get Sammy? He's got enough pens and paper to sink a battle ship...he doesn't exactly like video games, not really a sports person besides training to hunt...I got no clue what books he reads...man kids are fussy to buy for," Dean rambled to himself as he drove past the small shops in town. "Beauty bath bombs...what the hell are they? And why would anyone want a bomb in their bath?" he asked himself as he drove as slow as ever past a toiletry shop. He sighed and pulled in at a car park next to a huge store, thinking the whole way what the hell he could buy Sam that the kid would appreciate.

He walked past the shops, muttering no, no, no, to himself as everything in the shops was either too babyish for Sam, or too old for him, or just downright unpractical to pack when they lived out of motels.

He thought about Sam, what the kid liked, what the kid disliked, what his habits were and so on...but still came up with nothing he hadn't already thought of and dismissed.

He grumbled deep in his throat, then walked in the next shop he passed.

"No...no...no, not Sam, definitely not Sam, yeah I can see that fitting in a duffle bag," he mumbled as he sprinted down the aisles.

He gave up on the crappy shop and walked out a very unsatisfied customer.

Then he saw it...

"Perfect...."

**~S/D~**

'_Man they are gonna be soooooo ma__d__, I'm dead, I'm dead meat, if I go back now then I look like a wuss and I can't handle myself alone for a few minutes let alone long enough for a walk, but if I go back later Dean is gonna kill me for lying __to __ them, being an idiot and running away. He's not gonna want me hanging round if I keep taking off, I suck...and this sucks!'_ he grunted tossing the lame gift in the snow as he pulled himself up the hill.

He let a few tears drop, then he bent down and picked up the car, he had seen it in the shop while John was buying something else and he knew it was identical to Dean's, _'but wh__at__ the hell is Dean gonna do with a key ring car that's the same __a__s his baby? It's stupid and Dean is gonna think I'm such a loser, 'thanks Sam, original, and I've never seen a car like this tiny toy crap before, well done.' Yep, he's gonna laugh in my face and dad...John, is gonna kill me for wasting his money on this pointless piece of junk!'_

He huffed and contemplated on sitting down in the snow but then he reconsidered when he knew Dean would get mad if he got wet again.

He thought about giving Dean the key ring, he knew he couldn't give him nothing after all he'd done, but nothing had to be better than this plastic scrap.

He kicked the snow and walked a little more, then looked up to see a little run down shed in the far woods.

He hoped no one was home as he pushed on the wooden creaking door.

'_Cool,'_ he grinned as he saw the metal workshop. There hadn't been anyone working here for some years, Sam knew that for sure with how much dust there was and how old the equipment seemed to be, but he just couldn't help himself, he had to look round.

Curiosity got the better of him and he turned on one of the machines.

'_OW!!!'_ he thought turning it right off. _'Meanie!'_ he pulled his nose at the loud vibrating machine then walked away to another. 'Awesome,' he gasped when he picked up a lump of bumpy metal. He took a closer look and saw it had corn like things on each side of the gold-ish blob shape and it looked like somebody had started making something out of it. 'I'm gonna finish it,' he nodded to himself picking up a pair of pliers knowing the first thing he needed to do was even out the spikes and make them look more like actual horns.

**~S/D~**

"Uh, hey, could I take a look at that dream catcher in the shop window?" Dean asked getting out his wallet already.

"Sorry, that one's not for sale."

"Why is in the window then?"

"It's to keep bad spirits away," the guy said very cold, in no hurry to budge.

'_Why didn't it keep you out then?'_ Dean asked himself.

"Please man, that thing is perfect for my kid brother," Dean begged trying to use his puppies.

"Well then your kid brother is just going to have to have another then isn't he?"

"Well uh, no offence but, pink feathers aren't really his thing," Dean told the man as he looked round at all the girly dream catchers, he knew one way or another he was getting that one in the window, it was the only guy one in this gay fest and Sam would love it! He was taking that home today whether this guy liked it or not.

"It's not for sale."

"Can't you make me another one like that then?" Dean asked, he just needed a damn blue dream catcher like that one! It was perfect for Sam, the kid was a magnet for nightmares and that thing looked pretty powerful with those particular stones in it.

"No, sorry, that was the only one made like that, try Wal-Mart," he smiled thinking Dean was going to leave.

"Look, it's Christmas, my baby brother has been through more hell in the last month that you ever will in your entire life! I need to make sure he gets better and he can't do that if he has nightmares round the clock! So you either give me that thing right now or I staple your hands to the register and take it myself!"

"It's not for-"

"David, quiet down, can't you see this boy is upset?" a woman scolded coming from the back room.

"You said that thing wasn't for sale, I'm just doing as you said!"

"Well things change, some people need it more than we do, like young Dean here," she smiled warmly at the kid like she was asking for forgiveness.

"How do you know my name?"

She simply smiled and usually Dean would be freaked out but she smiled so kindly, he felt peace come off her in waves and wash through him, calming all his fears he had over everything in his mind.

She walked from behind the counter and took the dream catcher from the front window, as he watched her Dean couldn't help but gasp when he saw the scars of teeth marks on her neck.

"Vampires," she said telling him all he needed to know as she wrapped the gift up in her best paper.

She handed Dean a gift tag and he wrote his message to Sam on it after thinking for a few minutes.

"Take that to Sam and tell him to trust it will work, it may take time, but the nightmares will fade and things will work out for you all," she said handing him the package.

"How did you-?"

"You were thinking about his operation just then, but Dean, all you need to remember is: you have to open up to love and hope and then the dreams will come to you."

"Ah...." '_Okay....what do I say now? Dad is gonna not gonna believe this. Hell!! I met a freakin-'_

"Yes Dean, you met a psychic, but please don't curse so much," she laughed.

"Oh uh...sorry, how much do I owe you?" he asked juggling the gift and his money.

"Nothing my dear, just do me a favour and have hope, even when you think things couldn't get any worse and everything you know and love is slipping away, just know you'll get through it."

'_Okay I don't like the sound of that.'_

"Nobody does, but I don't give away advice like this for free usually, so think yourself lucky," she smiled and again, like magic, he calmed himself.

"Uh...thank you, t-thanks, Merry Christmas," he stuttered stuffing a whole $100 in the charity box on the counter.

"Merry Christmas to you too Dean, and the other 2 Winchesters."

'_She is so cool.'_

She laughed and he knew she heard that. He then left with his mind running like a marathon, but despite the freakiness that just went down, he tried to remember what she said, about having hope and believing in happiness even when things are like shit. "Sorry," he said to her thinking maybe she could still her him as he cursed yet again. _'Man this is gonna be such a cool Christmas,_' he grinned as he walked round the corner thinking socks would do for his dad,_ 'who doesn't like socks?' _he asked himself as he went in the next store and made a conscious decision to pick the stupidest, brightest, most awesome socks the shop had to offer.

**~S/D~**

"Sam? Come on son, Dean will be back soon and he is gonna kill us both if you aren't in the house."

John sighed, walked up the hill following the foot prints he knew were Sam's.

"Huh..." he frowned when he saw the lead to the old workshop he's always known was there but he'd never been in.

He really hoped Sam hadn't hurt himself or gotten too cold he needed to hide out in there, _'then again, he did have my coat, good job I got a spare cos I'm freezing here Sammy.'_

"Sam?" he asked pushing the half hanging off door open. _**"Sam what are you doing in here?"**_ he asked the kid when he saw him on the floor biting his tongue.

He sat down next to kid and looked at what he had in his hand and what was taking so much concentration.

"Wow," he praised when he saw the figure, it was weird looking horn dude and Sam had just hooked a loop round the top of the face. _**"Sammy did you do this?"**_ he asked the kid who was now handing his handy work over.

Sam shrugged and smiled happily as John took a closer look.

"Sam this is..." John was lost for words, Sam had gotten upset, walked off, found himself to be lost, hid in an old workshop and then brought himself back to life making this thing while he waited for someone to come and get him, the kid was resourceful, that's for sure.

"_**I wanted to give it to Dean but I can't find any string,"**_ Sam told him motioning to the loop in the top.

John handed Sam the horn face back then reached under his shirt and pulled out several chains from under his t-shirt, some from his old marine days, some to remember Mary by, and others just for a random effect.

He picked out the chain that was black lace of some sort and pulled it apart from the others and took it off when he untangled it. He untied the knot in the back, took off the old pendant handing on it then took Sam's metal horn dude from him and slipped it into the lace. He made a small knot in the back again making sure it wasn't going to untie anytime soon, he then carefully put it over Sam's head and smiled when the handmade amulet was hanging on Sam's chest.

The kid smiled, almost as if he was splitting his face in two, then he moved to take it off, but John stopped him.

"_**Keep it safe there till we get back to the cabin," **_he told him tucking the amulet under Sam's t-shirt.

Sam nodded as John stood and pulled the boy to his feet. He dusted his legs off for him then sent Sam first out the door when he checked the kid hadn't left anything.

"_**You think Dean will like it?"**_ he asked holding on tight to the bull Egyptian dude round his neck.

"_**He's gonna love it Sammy, you did good today kid,"**_ John praised. _**"Careful,"**_ he warned helping Sam down the hill by holding on tight to the boy as he slipped on the snow.

"_**Is he gonna be mad when we're not there?"**_ Sam asked when they were on flat ground.

"_**Don't worry about it kiddo, he won't be mad at you okay."**_

Sam nodded biting his nails as he and John walked towards the back door and tapped their feet when they saw the Impala was in the drive way.

"_**We gonna get started on this turkey or what?"**_

**~S/D~**

Dean paid for his dad's socks, the stupidest pair he could find, then made his way back to the Impala, still thinking about that woman.

He tried to shake it off as he set the gifts on the passenger seat. He drove off and back towards the end of town where the very secluded cabin was.

He got back and nobody was inside so he figured they went out for some more things for the turkey or something. The lights were still in a mess and there was a note on the floor with Sam's handwriting on.

"**Dean and dad, went out for a walk, don't be mad. Love Sammy."**

Dean had a momentary panic but remembered what the woman told him. He tried to calm himself and hoped his dad had gone out and found Sam by now.

He needed to make himself useful while he waited, he couldn't just pace the living room, Sam would be cranky if he did that. So he walked to the kitchen and picked up one of the cooking books. He flipped through it and laughed to himself when he saw many of the recipes were scribbled out and new ingredients put in their place. He knew it was his moms doing, she always did cook the best and she obviously knew it too with how much she had 'corrected'.

Then he reached the back and there was a folded up, soot coated piece of paper tucked in the last page.

"**Christmas list!"** it read.

There were notes for cooking roast potatoes, making Christmas pudding, and most importantly, how to cook the perfect Christmas turkey.

He smiled nodding to himself, then he heard the back door open and 2 shuffling people coming in the kitchen.

'_Thank Christ, Sammy better be okay or I swear I'm gonna kick some ass!! Dad's for letting him go out, Sam for going out! And my own for being such a suck ass big brother!'_

He tapped his foot and took a quick glance at them, _'no cuts bleeding, broken bones or crying...okay well maybe they're off the hook, me, not so much.'_

"_**We gonna get started on this turkey or what?" **_Dean asked holding up the paper pretending like he wasn't just seconds away from a panic attack.

Sam grinned and John followed soon after.

"Huh...nice work Dean."

"_**Can I go check out the upstairs?" **_Sam asked itching to wrap his gift for Dean.

"_**Sure, yell if you need anything,"**_ John told the kid as they all took their coats off.

Sam skipped the steps taking their bags up with him and Dean and John got started on preparing the bird in time for tomorrow.

"Looks like somebody's gonna have to wake up at like 6am to start cooking this huge turkey."

"You really think we'll be sleeping past 5 with crazy kid up there?" John asked laughing at Sam who sounded like he was coming through the floor boards he was jumping around so much.

"Guess not."

_**TBC...**_

**It's Christmas eve's eve!!! My god time is flying so fast there's hardly enough time to enjoy it!! EEEPP!!**


	10. All I want for Christmas

**Santa's little helper's include-**

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**All I want for Christmas**

Dean felt someone shaking his shoulder, trying to wake him up.

"G'way," he grumbled turning on his other side.

"Eeeaa!" Sam yelled overly loud for 3:30 in the morning.

Dean grunted and looked over at the clock.

"_**Sam, it's not even 4am yet, go back to sleep."**_

Sam shook his head and when Dean saw the look on the kid's face he knew this was different from the other 3 times he'd been shook awake that night.

"_**Sam?"**_ he asked sitting up in his small bed.

"_**I had a nightmare,"**_ Sam simply stated and when Dean flicked the lamp on he saw the tear tracks down the little kid's face. "Come here," he mouthed wide holding his arms out and Sam launched himself in them trying to burrow in Dean's t-shirt. "S'okay Sammy, don't cry, you're safe, sshh," Dean cooed as he rocked Sam back and forth in his lap.

When Sam soon settled Dean felt the kid relax. He knew Sam was falling asleep, thankfully, so he pulled his covers up round them both and settled himself back against the pillow. He also took note that next time they come here they need to get a double bed to replace this thing, it was so stupid you couldn't even push the two beds together because the extra bed was a pull out mattress thing on the floor.

Dean didn't drop off for another hour after Sam was snoring away, he was too busy praying the dream catching thing would work, he knew he shouldn't have wrapped it so soon, he should have given it to Sam and spared him the nightmare tonight.

'_Stupid,'_ he thought to himself.

**~S/D~**

"Sammy, come on Sammy wake up, it's Christmas!" Dean cheered shaking his little brother at 8:35 in the morning, he really hoped the nightmare earlier wasn't going to bring Sam's mood down for the rest of the day.

Sam grumbled much like he had a few hours ago but unlike Dean, Sam opened his eyes then sprung to life jumping from the bed.

"_**Guess I don't need to ask if you're okay this morning,"**_ Dean chuckled then was pulled downstairs by his little brother who looked like he was on helium.

"Morning boys," John greeted already making coffee.

"Wow...when did you get all these?" Dean gasped seeing the tree surrounded by badly wrapped but much appreciated presents.

"That's for me to know and you to...not know," John smirked and Dean almost laughed when he noticed his dad was still wearing his sweats.

'_I guess that's Christmas,'_ he thought to himself as Sam dived into the pile of gifts.

"How does this...work?" Dean had to ask.

"Presents, you kids make a mess, breakfast, then we cook, sound like a plan?" John asked sipping his coffee as he sat down on the sofa watching his boys open the presents, it wasn't much, not half the amount most kids would get but hey, they seemed to be enjoying themselves so screw the present police.

"Awesome dad!" Dean cheered when he unwrapped some AC/DC tapes.

Sam had resorted to smiling and jumping on his bum to say thank you, he was too happy to drop the presents and sign thanks as he opened a few books on the world war which seemed to be Sam's favourite thing right now.

"Cool," Dean beamed pulling his new Led Zeppelin t-shirt over his head.

Sam shuffled closer the fire and unwrapped his next present but stopped when he was pulled back on his butt.

"_**It's not that cold Sammy,"**_ John said warning the kid not to go that close again, especially if he had flammable things in his hand.

Sam nodded telling him it was, but he didn't move closer like the good kid he was.

John held his finger up telling Sam to hang on a minute, he ran upstairs and pulled the kids covers from the bed then sprinted back down, he laid them over Sam's shoulders then ruffled the kid's hair up as Sam grinned a thank you.

"Don't hog them all," Dean whined trying to get in them blankets too, John would have suggested going up and getting the other blankets for his eldest but he knew Dean was just being a goof and annoying Sam for the fun of it.

"_**Jerk!"**_ Sam stuck his tongue out laughing as they played tug of war with the covers.

"Can I have these then?" John asked pointing to the still untouched presents.

"_**No!"**_ Sam shook his head, forgetting he was cold and dived back for the pile of gifts, ripping the paper off.

Dean laughed and put the blankets back over Sam then went for his unfinished pile like his little brother.

"Hey dad, here," the eldest brother mumbled, placing something on John's knee.

John smiled, he was about to say you shouldn't have but he wanted to make sure Dean wouldn't get mad today, they all needed to look out for each other and themselves today so he would keep his trap shut and just accept the gift gracefully.

"Socks...oh man, really bright flowery pink socks, with bells on."

"Yup, awesome huh?" Dean grinned very impressed with himself. Sam was in hysterics as John took off his very boring black socks and pulled on a pair of his new ones laughing as they jingled when he walked. "You like?" Dean asked trying to compose himself.

"Yeah, thanks son," John laughed taking his seat again.

"**Sorry I didn't get you anything,"** Sam told them looking like he was about to break into tears.

"_**Yes you did,"**_ Dean told him and he put another gift next to his dad that he write 'from Sam' on.

"Matching boxers...wow you really are trying to turn me camp huh?" John laughed and he knew there was no way he was trying those things on, even for a laugh.

**~S/D~**

Sam was nibbling on a carrot stick he thieved from the kitchen while Dean was pealing them ever so carefully.

After a lot of jokes and laughter, books, CD's, tapes, new set of clothing and a lot off mess, Sam couldn't be happier, especially when he gave Dean his gift and vice versa.

"_Dean?" _

"_Yeah Sammy?" _

"_I...."_

"_Yeah? You okay?"_

_Sam nodded then held the wrapped present tight to his chest._

"_**I got you something,"**__ the little kid smiled then held it out for his big brother to take._

"_Made," John corrected. _

_Dean smiled, then opened the gift carefully. He pealed the tape off and slowly unravelled the hard lump in the middle of the paper. _

_He gulped in shock when he saw it..._

"_T-thank you Sam...I love it," Dean gasped choking on his words when he saw the amulet. He squinted w__hen__ he saw tiny writing on the back of the bull shaped face._

"**Dean, brothers always, love Sam." **

'_When did he write that?' John asked himself knowing it wasn't there when Sam had it round his neck yesterday._

_Dean shocked everyone when he pulled Sam in a tight hug and almost squeezed the kid to death. Sam patted Dean on the back telling him he was welcome and John was on the sofa grinning at his small, slightly dysfunctional but loved family. _

"_**Here, I got you something, I kinda wish I made it now too but...the store lady said it would work wonders for you, kid,"**__ Dean told Sam handing the kid his present._

_Sam took the wrapping off much like Dean had __done __with his and when all the Snowman paper was off he saw the blue dream catcher with dangling jet black feathers._

"_**Thank you! I love it!"**__ Sam grinned hugging Dean tight then pulling away and running up the steps to hang it next to his bed._

He grinned as he finished his carrot then jumped up to watch some crappy Christmas films.

**~S/D~**

"Not that much!" Dean yelled when his dad was about to dump a handful of salt on the potatoes.

"It said a pinch!" John whined defending himself.

"You wanna see a pinch?" Dean asked sarcastically, then took the salt from his dads hand, he picked up a tiny pinch with his thumb and finger then sprinkled it over the veg. "That is what you call a pinch."

"That was like 2 grains!"

"Exactly!" Dean said tossing the other salt over his shoulder for good luck but aiming for the sink so he wouldn't make a mess.

"What next Gordon Ramsey?" John asked his son looking at the list his wife had thankfully left them.

"Gravy," Dean told him dumping some Oxo in a pan.

"_**Hey Sammy, you wanna help?" **_John asked when he saw the little kid in the doorway.

Sam nodded and walked to the stove stirring the pan of whatever he could reach.

"Move out boys, I wanna check the turkey," John ushered them out of the way then opened the oven door.

"Not run away from you screaming yet, has it?" Dean joked.

"Smart ass," John laughed.

"Mint sauce?" Dean asked with his head in the fridge and Sam nodded eagerly.

"Sam?" John asked picking up on Sam's acknowledgement to the question he barely got.

"Dad what?" Dean asked looking at him, then Sam, then back to John again.

"He just nodded," John pointed to Sam while he whispered, confused beyond belief.

"Yeah..." Dean asked, wasn't exactly breaking news that Sam knew how to nod and shake his head.

"You asked about mint sauce, and Sam nodded," John gasped, his finger still pointing in the kid's face, which now looked like Sam wanted the ground to come and swallow him whole.

"But I was...?" Dean said motioning to the fridge where he was stood with his back to them both.

"Yeah..."

"And he just...?"

"Yeah..."

"So he can...?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh...oh my god...Sam...Sammy, can you hear us?" Dean asked looking at the kid.

Sam choked a sob and shook his head.

'_No, no I can't! I can't! Please don't leave me please, I can't hear please...'_

"Sam?" Dean warned walking to the kid and holding his shoulders. "Can you hear us?"

Sam blinked away the tears and shook his head once again.

"Sam? Come on you can tell us, please?" Dean begged while John stood back giving them space.

"_**Sometimes,"**_ Sam admitted and pulled away from his big brother thinking he was going to toss him out on the street and he would lend a helping hand by going before they kick him out the door.

"Sam...dad Sammy can hear," Dean gasped.

"Yeah...I got that, well uh...okay, today we have Christmas then in the new year we take Sam to get looked over, make sure he's okay, maybe he won't need this operation after all to be able to hear."

"Sammy, you can hear kiddo, Sammy you can hear!!" Dean yelled jumping up and down on the spot, his face brighter than the snow outside.

Sam shook his head once again and didn't join in with the celebration.

"Samm-!!" Dean yelled again, but noticed Sam was still crying... "Sam? What's wrong?" Dean asked as he stopped the jumping and went back to comforting his little brother. "Sam? Aren't you happy?" Dean asked referring to the hearing.

"Dean maybe he just needs-"

"Shut up!" Dean snapped then turned back to Sam. He pulled the kid with him to the upstairs bedroom and made Sam sit down on the bed. He looked the kid right in the eye and smiled sympathetically. "Sam what's wrong? Don't you wanna be able to hear?"

He'd never asked the kid about it before, it would be hurtful and rude, but right now he needed to know, but what if Sam really didn't want to hear? What if he would rather have hospital appointments and pain for the rest of his life as opposed to being able to hear? And why would he want that in the first place?!

"_**I don't want you to leave me."**_

"Hey, hey, no matter what happens, no matter who can hear or not, we're brothers, got it?"

"_**Really?"**_

"Really, now come on, it's-- we --- eat and I ---sorry--- he kicks---for---rude."

Sam squinted not understanding that last sentence.

"_**Sorry, I was just saying...it's Christmas, we got food to eat and I gotta say sorry to dad before he kicks my ass for being rude."**_

Sam wiped his tears and let Dean pull him back downstairs.

"You boys okay now?" John asked.

"Yeah uh, I'm sorry for-"

"Sh! It's Christmas, let's just have fun today, you boys go tidy up and have fun with the...toys for a while, I'm gonna attempt to cook," John said walking back to the kitchen leaving his boys to enjoy themselves.

**~S/D~**

"S'it good?" John asked with a mouth full of turkey.

"Awesome," Dean nodded and the look on Sam's face said it all.

"So, I might not be able to make toast but I make a mean Christmas dinner huh," John laughed.

Sam giggled and Dean chuckled.

"So pie or Christmas pudding for desert?" John asked picking up the empty plates.

"PIE!" was Dean immediate answer.

Sam was about to say he didn't want anything else but Dean's face told him to zip it and just eat.

"_**Sir, yes sir,"**_ Sam mocked saluting Dean.

"_**Come on, let's go watch some TV."**_

Sam followed his big brother to the living room.

They flicked through the channels and Sam was given the choice of the Muppets Christmas carol or Grinch.

"_**Dad's got the hots for..."**_ Dean pointed to the screen as Kermit the frog was singing.

Sam giggled and shook his head, he really hoped that was a joke.

"What's so funny?" John asked when he came in with 3 plates of desert, pie for Dean, Christmas pudding for himself and a little of both for Sammy.

"Oh, nothing."

John shook head then handed the plates out. Sam was looking at his like it was alien so John nudged him and pointed to the plate.

"_**Get that down you kiddo, all you can eat today,"**_

Sam nodded then ate carefully, trying both sides of the desert and smiling when he liked both.

"Good?" Dean asked with a mouth full of pie.

Sam nodded eagerly then went back to smiling and eating his food, his eyes drifted to the screen again and they all sat watching till they fell asleep with warm stomachs and happy smiles on their faces.

'_Christmas is awesome,'_ Sam thought whilst dreaming of new years.

**~S/D~**

"Night boys," John whispered as he tucked them both into the same bed. He checked that Sam's new dream catcher was tied to the bed post right, _'wouldn't want them to wake up with feathers in their mouths.'_

He watched them for a few more minutes, just watching their chests rise and fall and the faint smiles on their faces.

After he let out a long yawn he told himself he needed to go to bed too. He walked to the door, closed it carefully then walked to his own room and got himself under the covers.

"Thanks Mar," he said to his angel who helped make this day more special than he ever could on his own.

_**TBC...**_

**Hope that was okay x **

**Just need to say, I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Thank you for all the love this year dudes!!! I shall see you when I see you!!!**


	11. Speak in tongues

******PLEASE READ! I'M SORRY!!!******

**I first want to say how sorry I am for taking so long with all my fics lately! **

**It has been insane since Christmas, as some of you know, I have a HUGE law test and I have been revising for that like crazy. I just want to steal geek Sammy for a lil bit to help me, any chance of him coming to help me study at my house? No? Didn't think so, oh well, there's always next year.**

**Anyway, I was postponing all updates till after my exam which is on the 20****th****, but it was been soooo long since I posted on this, doesn't Christmas day seem like forever ago?! **

**This week as most of you know has been insane in the UK, snow snow and more snow, not to mention -12c temps at night. It hasn't been like this for like 50 years in England lol, apparently, I got no, I wasn't born till a long time after hahah, but you can imagine how unprepared we are for all this.**

**College was cancelled from Tuesday to Friday so I had lots of free time which I love!! And it gave me tons of time to write!!! **

**So, thanks for listening to my ramble, enjoy! Man I loved writing this so much!!! **

**Speak in tongues**

Bobby moved the last of the crumpled papers from his coffee table and straightened out his lumpy sofa.

He stood back taking a look at his living room, mumbling a well done to himself for making it look so tidy in a matter of hours.

'_Looks like Dean owes me that $20.'_

He heard the door being knocked on then smiled, 'finally,' he thought walking to his front door and opening it for his guests.

"Man, I guess I owe you that $20 huh?" Dean said first looking in the relatively tidy and not to mention clean house, he bet Bobby wouldn't have the place like this for when they got there, and unfortunately for Dean, Bobby was just as determined to win the bet.

"Hey Bobby, thanks for-"

"I ain't talkin' to you, I'm still mad for you leavin' me here to rot on my own on Christmas," he snapped at John.

"What crawled up your ass and died?" John asked, almost afraid to enter his friend's house.

"Sorry Bobby, we'll remember your grouchiness next year and not bother calling at new years either," Dean grinned.

"Get 'er and give your old uncle a hug," Bobby said holding his arms out, a bright smile on his face happy he had company now.

"Dude girls hug," Dean whined but scoffed when Sam practically did a run and jump into Bobby's arms.

The older man pulled away after a short period getting a good look at the kid before him.

"_**You hear that Sam? Your brother here is calling us girls."**_

Sam giggled then pulled Bobby to him once more for another quick hug.

"Man, somebody's happier than I saw 'em last."

"Yeah, you should have seen him on Christmas day, couldn't get the kid to get in bed till 3:30 in the morning he was so hyper," John moaned but everyone knew he meant it in a loving way.

"_**Damn, kid you've certainly grown,"**_ Bobby told Sam, smiling at how happy the boy looked. _**"You'll be taller than Dean pretty soon if you keep this up."**_

"Dude, no way the universe is that cruel, little brothers are always the shrimps of the family."

"Just keep tellin' yourself that kiddo, if that's what helps you through the day."

"Haha, come on Sammy let's go unpack."

"Planning on staying here long do you?" Bobby asked sarcastically as the boys ran up the stairs like little kids again.

"Oh...why is there a hunt or something?" Dean asked getting the wrong impression.

"No, just kiddin' kid, go unpack, I cleaned your room and changed the beds."

"Thanks Bobby!" Dean yelled already half way up the steps with Sammy.

"Don't forget my $20 kid! You owe me $40 with how spotless it is up there!" Bobby joked before turning back to face John still stood in his doorway.

"So, sorry about-"

"Was a joke Jonny boy, those kids deserved a Christmas Winchester style."

"Yeah, was good for them, but I got a question to ask."

"Shoot," Bobby said helping his friend out with the other bags and closing his door behind them both.

"Sam can hear."

"WHAT?!" Bobby yelled dropping the bags in complete shock.

"And now I can't," John groaned wiggling his ear to get the feeling back in it.

Bobby took a seat on his couch and mentioned for John to do the same.

When they were both situated John started the tale.

"Sam can hear a little bit, sometimes, on Christmas day Dean randomly asked if we wanted mint sauce..."

**~S/D~**

"_**You want the shower first?"**_ Dean asked his baby brother while he put the last of his clothes in the small bed side draws.

"_**Okay,"**_ Sam nodded knowing showers made him sleepy and he always managed to fall asleep before Dean got back from his. He liked when that happened, he felt like he could stand to be alone enough to drop off in those few minutes when Dean wasn't with him, it made him feel grown up some, more like his big brother.

"_**You **__**go**__** then, I'm gonna go get some food, you want anything?"**_

Sam shook his head then took some clean clothes with him to where he knew Bobby's bathroom was. He locked the door when he got in and smiled looking at the familiar room, it wasn't half as big as the bathroom back in the cabin but it was cosy, and very Bobby.

**~S/D~**

"So my question was, you got the name of that doc that helped us out before? Maybe he could get Sam in for some scans or something? Just to check everything's okay?"

"Well that guy left, went somewhere in up in Canada, but I got the number of the hospital, been keeping in good contact with those guys just in case you know."

"Just in case what?" John asked, standing and following Bobby as he went to his none hunter journal and took out a contact card.

"In case things like this favour you want, spring up, you can give 'em a call tomorrow and ask for the paediatric hearing specialist or somethin'."

"Thanks," John said accepting the card.

"Dad? Everything okay?" Dean asked standing in the doorway.

John and Bobby both gave him a look as Dean was leaning on the door frame like he was suspicious of something.

"We'll call them tomorrow, that sound good?"

"More hospitals, great, sounds awesome," Dean mumbled pushing with his shoulder off the frame and turning his back to go walk miserably up stairs.

"Dean," John warned.

"What? I'm sorry but I just want him to be happy and sending him off to a hospital this fast when he's freaked out about all this is just plain evil. I mean like seriously, make your mind up, last time you couldn't have waited longer if you tried, and now you wanna ship him off before the kid can even offer his opinion on all this!"

"Dean I'm not doing this to be evil, I'm trying to look after you kids okay? What if something is wrong and we wait a week or two and Sam gets really ill and they could have fixed it easy if we got him seen to quicker?"

Dean knew his dad was right, but he just wanted Sam to be normal and hunting and hospital free, not christen the year by sending him off to the doctors on the second day of the freakin year!

"Dean I could never forgive myself if I let that happen again, I said we should wait the last time Sam needed help and that was a huge mistake, I'm not doing that again."

"Fine, just let me tell him, and we tell him tomorrow, I want him to be able to sleep tonight at least."

John and Bobby both nodded as Dean walked off sadly.

"That went well," John smiled sarcastically to himself.

"You two haven't changed much then," Bobby mumbled, he knew full well Dean and John butted heads almost hourly, most of the time it was just so they could both have a good yell, one says black, the other says white.

"We're working on it," John admitted as he shoved the card in his shirt pocket.

**~S/D~**

"That didn't take long," Dean smirked when he got back from the bathroom, Sam was sleeping soundly, his stuffed dog by his side and the dream catcher hanging on the headboard.

Dean got in his own bed, reached over to his baby brother making sure he was within arm distance to Sam. He had worked it out, an arm's length was just close enough for him to be able to reach Sam quickly in an emergency such as a mysterious fire or flood, but far enough away that Sam felt independent a little and Dean didn't feel like he was suffocating the kid.

"Night Sammy, sweet dreams."

**~S/D~**

"That's great, thank you. We'll see you Monday."

"Who was that?" Dean asked taking a seat by his father at the small kitchen table.

"Hospital, they've got an appointment at 10 next Monday with a specialist."

"Next Monday, 5 days, okay I guess that's long enough for Sam to have fun while it lasts."

"Dean-"

"I didn't mean it like that, I just meant Sam has 5 days is long enough for Sam to enjoy himself before he feels the need to panic about this thing."

"I take it you're not planning on telling him till next Monday then?"

"Sunday," Dean compromised and his dad nodded.

"Good choice."

"I'm gonna go see what Sammy's up to."

**~S/D~**

"_**Sam it's the 2**__**nd**__** of January, you're not supposed to do school work today, or tomorrow, or any day till Monday at least."**_

"_**I'm bored,"**_ Sam said going back to his work.

"_**Sure geek, you okay up here then?"**_ Dean asked.

Sam nodded and let his big brother go downstairs to do whatever he wanted to do.

**~S/D~**

"Boys! Come on we're going out!" John yelled up the stairs to where his sons were.

"Coming!" Dean yelled so John took this time to get his jacket and boots on, when Dean said 'coming' it meant to he would move his ass in about 5 minutes.

"_**Where we going?"**_ Sam asked coming down the steps first, he rubbed the sleep from his tired eyes and John chuckled at the bird's nest that was Sam's hair.

"_**You fall asleep?"**_ John asked, he wondered why his boys were so quiet.

Sam nodded as John smoothed the kid's hair making it presentable for going out.

"_**You wanna stay here and get some more sleep?" **_he asked after, feeling Sam's forehead checking if the boy was coming down with something.

Sam shook his head this time and gave John a thank you smile; it was always the little things, common fatherly sense and concern that made the kid happy. John ran his hands downwards, flattening the hair when he felt only normal temperature coming from the boy.

"Dean, you coming for food or what?!" he yelled knowing the mention of a meal would get his eldest down the stairs.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, keep your hair on."

Dean went to the sofa, picked up his jacket from the arm of it and pushed on his boots not caring for the laces till he got in the car.

"Where's Bobby?"

"Went to a friend's I think, not sure, he said not to wait up."

"Why aren't we eating here?"

"Cos unless you want a weeks old chilli, there's nothing in the fridge, I told Bobby we'd pick up some groceries on our way back."

Dean nodded then pushed his hands in his pockets as they exited the house. "Where's my keys?" he rushed in a high voice that made John snort.

"Right here," John grinned jingling them in his hand as he made his way to the driver's side of the Impala and knocked Dean out of the way in a joking manner.

"What's wrong with me driving?"

"What's up with the 20 questions?" John asked back as they drove out of the yard and onto the main road.

"My turn to drive on the way back," Dean mumbled like he was a little kid wanting candy.

"Turn that frown upside down you big baby or no pie," John threatened just to wind Dean up that bit more.

He felt a tap on his shoulder then so he looked up in the mirror asking Sam what he wanted.

The boy started signing and John knew there was no way he could decipher Sam's words and watch the road like he was supposed to so he nodded for Dean to listen the kid out instead as he went back to watching where he was going.

"You okay Sammy?" Dean asked turning all the way round to face his baby brother.

Sam chose this time to shake his head telling Dean it didn't matter.

"Come on, tell me?" Dean begged but Sam still shook his head then shuffled to the end of the seat and leaned his head on his window.

Dean turned back, a concerned look on his face as he frowned at his father who just shook his head, too confused by what just happened, or rather what didn't happen.

"I'll sit with Sammy on the way back," Dean told John who smiled, that was his boy.

**~S/D~ **

"All you can eat buffet, nice!" Dean grinned skipping happily up to the long table of food.

Sam sat twiddling his thumbs under the table, watching passersby cautiously as he saved the table for them all as the other two went for food like he had told them to.

He still felt weird, he started to feel weird when he woke up and went downstairs but they rushed out of the house so fast, and John and Dean were caught in their own conversations that he didn't want to interrupt. He thought about telling them when he was in the backseat, when his legs suddenly felt like jelly and he had an overwhelming need to cry or puke, he wasn't sure which, but it didn't last long. When Dean turned around to ask him what he wanted, he just couldn't bring himself to spoil the mood he and John were in.

"Sam you wanna go up now?" Dean asked as he put his plate of food down where he planned on sitting, but didn't take his seat in the booth.

Sam nodded then signed the word, 'alone'.

"Okay....what's up with him?" Dean asked his dad as he took his seat watching Sam walk to the table.

"Might be getting sick, we'll find out on Monday kiddo. We'll make sure they check him over good and proper."

Dean nodded then went to nibble his food, his mind was still thinking about his kid brother and the distance he was keeping today all of a sudden.

**~S/D~**

Sam walked slow and careful, taking precise steps so he wouldn't end up flat on his face, just one time he would like to get through a dizzy spell without falling down, that would be nice...yeah, really nice.

He filled his plate, well...as full as he wanted it to be, when he got back to the table his dad was sure as hell going to tell him off for not eating more, again!

He huffed to himself then turned round to go back to his family, he felt a little too exposed out here without Dean or John to look out for him, he knew he was being a baby, but he just didn't like public places much.

But when he started to walk, his foot slipped, the plate went flying forwards and hit someone's front.

"Hey---cunt---best---pain---prick---"

'_Huh? Okay, having a tash doesn't help when I'm trying to read your lips...'_

The yelling man was tall, not as tall as his dad but he towered over Sam massively at this moment in time. His leather jacket was now coated in what was supposed to be Sam's dinner and his face was hard and angry, a fist was raised and Sam dropped the plate in panic.

He squeezed his eyes shut, preparing for the hard backhand, he covered his face, protecting himself as best he could...then waited...

But when nothing happened, he opened his eyes before coming out of his ball.

"You ---think you're going --lay---hand--my son?" John asked making Sam almost smile, he could see John twisting the man's hand back.

"The---retarded prick --------jacket!"

Sam backed up further, scared that the man still looked angry. He bumped into something hard and was about to take a run for it, but when strong arms enveloped him in a hug he leaned into the warm chest he knew was Dean's.

**~S/D~**

John sighed at his boys, he would have to ask Sam what was up when they got back home, it was the second day of a brand new year for god's sake and they were both as miserable as sin. He watched Dean for a second more then let his eyes drift over to his youngest... _'well shit!'_

"Dean," John ordered as he jumped from his seat and rushed to the commotion quickly forming around what he knew was Sam.

"Hey you cunt, that was my best jacket! You're gonna be in a world of pain when I'm done with you! You little prick!!"

He ran to the man about to slap his son, he pulled the arm that was about to strike round and twisted it behind the freaks back and did his best to make sure it hurt.

"You really think you're going to lay even a hand on my son?" he asked, ready to snap the twisted bone if he was so try and lash out at his boy again.

Dean pulled Sam round and drew him in a tight hug before pulling off quickly. "Sam, look at me, did he hurt you?" the eldest boy ran his hands over the boy, checking for any bruising or cuts but was relieved when Sam shook his head and just looked like he needed a good comforting hug to calm him down.

"The little retarded prick owes me a new jacket!"

John growled, loud and fierce, pissed off this man had called his son a retard, the bastard was going to pay for that one!

"AAH!" the ass yelled as John twisted the arm tighter, manipulating the man's shoulder to cause even more pain that should last for weeks even after John let go, which at this time, John wanted to behead the asshole.

"You call my son that again and I swear you'll pay," that was code for 'I swear I'll kill you,' but he couldn't exactly say that in a room full of customers now could he.

"Excuse me, what's going on here?" the man with the manager badge asked.

"This asshole attacked my brother that's what's going on!" Dean yelled as Sam cried into his chest, mostly out of relief.

"The little shit ran into me!! He deserves what he's got coming to him!! When I'm done with you-!"

"Sir I think you should leave," the manager said as he was backed up by some rather large gentlemen with chef hats on.

"You come near my boy again, I'll drag you to hell and do a little improvement on your face, you got that?" John pushed the man to the ground and let the punk scramble on the floor out of the diner.

"I'm sorry for that sir, would your son like a free desert on the house?" the man asked as everyone else returned to their seats.

John took one look at Sam, then shook his head and mumbled a 'no thank you, just the check please.' The little boy was no longer hiding in Dean's jacket but didn't look like he wanted to stick around either.

John kneeled down in front of his little boy, gave him another quick once over then cupped his cheek silently asking him if he was okay now. Sam of course nodded but the remaining tear tracks, pounding heart beat and shaking muscles said otherwise.

"You're okay Sammy," he promised as he pushed himself back to his feet and let Dean comfort the boy some more.

"Sir?" he heard a voice call so he turned around with a questioning look. "On the house," the manger said as he handed John a box of mixed deserts, said another apology to them all, asked if Sam was okay then left the Winchesters to leave.

"He okay?" John asked Dean as they got in the car.

"I think that asshole just freaked him out...he'll be fine."

John nodded closing the driver's door then setting off back to Bobby's, groceries could wait till later.

**~S/D~**

"Sam finally asleep?" John asked his eldest.

"Yeah, finally."

"He still freaked out?"

"What do you think?"

"Only asking..." John held his hands up in surrender.

"I could've taken that ass," Dean growled tightening his fists.

"So could Sam...what are we gonna do about that kid?"

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, those words getting his full attention.

"He's terrified of some random asshole that he could've torn apart without a second thought with what we've taught him. I was just thinking maybe it's time to toughen him up."

"How?" Dean asked like his father was stupid, but it was true, they wanted to get it through to Sam that the kid didn't have to be scared all the time, even though he was a tenth of the size of that freak today, Sam could have wiped the floor with him, but getting that through to Sam was like talking to a brick wall.

"I'm working on it...."

"On what?"

"Figuring out...how."

"Go figure..." Dean mumbled to himself.

**~S/D~**

Dean was watching his dad and uncle picker over a car suspension outside when he heard something crash upstairs so he took off running towards their bedroom, he knew leaving Sam alone up there was a bad idea!

"Sam? Sammy?!" he yelled pushing the door open.

When he got there the first thing he saw was blood, but he quickly breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it was only Sam's finger.

He didn't waste time asking what happened, he just sighed loud and hard making his way to the kid holding his hand to his chest in pain. He pulled Sam to his feet and through to the bathroom. He turned on the cold tap, made sure it was just right then rinsed the kids hand with freezing cold water. At first Sam pulled back sharply, the icy liquid making the pain worse but Dean held him steady and waited for Sam to stop struggling so he could cool the hand down and take a look.

He cursed once again when he saw the swelling chin Sam was also fashioning.

"Let me look," he cooed as Sam still held his fingers close to his palm and kept his hand muscles tight in agony.

Sam eventually let his hand go limp and Dean carefully took the tip of his first finger in his hand. It was clear what Sam had done, he had done it himself numerous times when he was a kid, mostly in the Impala doors and it hurt like a son of a bitch!

Sam had trapped his fingers in the door.

"What happened here?"__he asked after lifting Sam's face up so he could see the reddening chin and the boy could once again read his lips.

"_**I-"**_ Sam started but mewed painfully when the attempt to sign pulled his tortured fingers.

"Okay, no signing, tell me later on Bobby's computer, let's just see what we got going on here."

Sam nodded but looked extremely upset and frustrated he had lost his favoured way of communicating. He instantly felt like he was in a lonely fish bowl like before he met Dean, and he hated feeling like such an outsider again. But the worst part was, if he felt like this already...what would he feel like in a week's time?!

"Hey, you'll be signing again in no time, it's fine okay?_**" **_Dean said assuring Sam this wasn't as big a deal as the kid was thinking_**. **_"Come on, let's go downstairs."

They went downstairs where they met John, he told Sam to park himself on the couch while he went to get the first aid kit.

He came back with all the supplies and Bobby following behind. He fished through the red box a little then handed John a small square of white gauze.

John held the cotton pad on Sam's grazed knuckles a little, putting enough pressure to stop the bleeding but not enough so Sam's fingers would hurt any more than they already did.

When the skinned fingers started seeping clear yellowish water John was sure the bleeding had stopped so he put the cotton square to one side and drew in closer to the kid as he shuffled off the coffee table he was perched on.

He kneeled down in front of the kid and lifted Sam's chin and made the boy look at him. "Okay, this is going to hurt a little Sammy," he warned taking the small hand in his own. Sam nodded in understanding and let John check his fingers.

After a few grunts, hisses and bit of prodding and poking later, John let the kid drop his hand to his lap then announced, "his middle finger's broken, but his index and ring fingers just feel bruised."

Dean nodded and tried to keep his head high for Sam' sake, he wasn't going to take that news well, it took a very long and gruelling 5 weeks for his broken finger to get better all those years ago.

"_**Sam your finger feels broken okay? I'm going to tape them up to help it get better,"**_ John signed and Sam huffed in frustration.

They chose to ignore the kid's upset for now as John rubbed a little cream over the grazes and wrapped the tender fingers together, keeping the broken one safe sandwiched in the middle.

Sod's law Sam had to have hurt his right hand, which is the one he naturally used the most.

John finished off by gently dabbing some bruise cream on the now bright blue chin Sam was sporting, Bobby handed him some kid's Tylenol with a glass of water then Dean guided the kid towards the library and sat him down at the computer before walking back out to talk with his uncle.

"Hey Bobby, what happened to our old laptop?" Dean asked knowing he saw it in his uncles living room last, granted it was half a year ago almost but someone had to know what happened to that thing.

"Your dad thought it would be a good idea to bring it along on a hunt and the old spirit decided it didn't like technology too much, got tossed in the trash before we got back to you kids I think."

"Oh, never mind then."

Dean went back to his brother and sat on the spare chair next to him. Sam looked at him, the misery in his eyes was shocking, he was so happy moments ago reading the Superman comics Dean had fished out from Bobby' attic.

"What happened Sammy?" he asked whilst he opened a word page to the kid. He knew full well Sam could do it on his own but the boy didn't look like he was at all in a rush to spill.

"**I tripped," **Sam typed, it took a little longer what with only having one hand and it being his left.

"And?" Dean pushed.

"**I tripped and hit the door with my chin then I fell and my fingers got trapped in the door...I think."**

Dean couldn't help but shake his head, Sammy was a funny one. He took the key board from in front of Sam and began to type, it wasn't fair if he wasn't constricted to the longer and more difficult version of talking just like Sam was.

"**That was a smart thing to do huh?" **

Sam smirked sarcastically at his big brother, not taking too much liking to the sarcasm thrown _his_ way.

"**Kidding, come on Sam lighten up, no big deal, just a little accident."**

"**Yeah only I don't have little accidents, I end up making a fool of myself."**

"**Don't worry about it, life's not that bad."**

"**Mine is." **

'_Okay, where is this coming from?'_

"**Sam come on, you know you're just being a drama queen."**

"**It's true!!!" **Samtyped with extra exclamation marks on the end to stress his point.

"**Sam stop it, grow up."**

Sam looked hurt then, Dean was about to take it back but decided to wait while Sam was done with his reply to the rather harsh words.

"**I'm trying! But you keep treating me like I'm a baby!"**

"**Stop acting like one then!"**

"**I'm not!"**

"**Well when you cried over that punk yesterday, didn't seem so manly then, did you?!" **Dean failed to notice the tears in Sam's eyes and carried on typing, so Sam carried on reading... **"You could have torn that dick six ways from Sunday but instead you go and cry and we have to be the ones saving you yet again!"**

"**So that was my fault?!"**

"**You have enough training to know how to handle a guy like him and worse...so let me think, was it your fault **_**MY**_** dad had to go and kick his ass for you instead...errmmmm...YES!"**

Dean handed the keyboard over again and was shocked when Sam slammed it down and took off running out of Bobby house.

"Sam! Sammy would you quit doing this!"Dean yelled running after the floppy hair that was fading into the distance fast.

Eventually, he caught up to the kid, but what he also caught up with, the huge pond he swore never to go near again.

"SAM!!"he screamed, his tone no longer angry...just full of pure, blind, nightmare terror.

_**TBC...**_


	12. Swallowed whole by the darkness

**Okay, I don't usually swear, but today I need to, THANK FUCK THAT'S OVER!!!**

**Finally I can have my life back!! Jeez!!! Why are exams so much stress? Its only a test....yeah, they used to be, I mean really...the person who invented them needs hunting down and...well let's just say I want Alistair to join in the torturing. **

**4 hours a week of revision my law teacher told me, huh, yeah, try 4 hours a day!!! Yes, I did 4 hours a DAY!! And my other teacher told me it was unacceptable and downright impossible for me to do 4 hours a week in one subject...I can't win!!! **

**You know what, I don't care if I failed, couldn't have worked harder if I had tried!!! **

**Also, we had to plan our future yesterday, 40 years of our lives in 2 mins, who comes up with this crap?!! I hate planning!! With a passion!!! How many people on the planet thought when you were 17, right, I'm going to be a teacher/nurse/lawyer etc, then went on in the same job till they retire at 65? Get with it people, nobody, even the lousy planners of this aim future crap planned they wanted to be a job counsellor when they were my age. **

**God I hate some folk!!!!**

**Okay, enough of my rant...**

**Here it is....**

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**Swallowed whole by the darkness **

**13 years ago...**

"_Unca Bobby! Unca Bobby!!"_

"_Whatcha up to kiddo?" Bobby asked as Dean continued to jump up and down on the spot, a happy little boy, unlike the silent broken mess he was a year ago._

"_Unca Bobby I saw myself!"_

"_You did now did you...hhm, well then you musta been lookin' in a magical thing called a mirror."_

"_No Unca Bobby! I saw myself in the water!" Dean cheered._

"_You what?" Bobby asked, not quite following, too confused to play the game any longer._

"_In your swimming pool! I saw myself! It was funny!"_

"_What swimming pool?" Bobby asked carefully, hoping his hunch was off._

"_The one at the bottom of your big garden," Dean said __hopp__ing nervously from one foot to the other, he didn't like the tone Uncle Bobby was speaking in now._

"_You went out there alone?!" Bobby yelled shaking the boy's shoulders hard._

"_M'sorry, I just wanted to play. I didn't mean to be bad...m'sorry for playing near your swimming pool," Dean cried, his innocent eyes shining with tears as his uncle continued to shake him._

"_You never, NEVER go near that water again do you understand?!"_

_Dean sobbed, trying to pull away from the shaking, Bobby wasn't trying to hurt the boy, he was just terrified of the __things__ that could have happened just minutes ago. Dean had wandered into one of the worst drowning spots in the entire town! He didn't even own the land all the way down there! God knows what he would have done if Dean had fallen in...he would never forgive himself and John would have torn him in ways unimaginable for sure, and rightly so._

"_I'm sorry, I'm sorry Dean, but that pond isn't for playing in, okay?"_

"_Sorry Unca Bobby."_

"_But I want you to promise me you will never wander off like that again."_

"_Didn't mean to...m'sorry."_

"_It's okay sport, just promise me, you will never go down there ever again, it's not a place for you__ to __be playing, it's dangerous and you could have hurt yourself."_

"_P-promise."_

"_Good, now dry those tears buddy. Come on, let's get you bathed for when your dad comes home."_

"_Is he coming to stay longer this time?"_

"_He sure is kiddo."_

'_I hope.'_

"_Yay!"_

_**~S/D~**_

_Dean trotted downstairs, his wet feet patting on the old carpet flooring. He snuck his head in the small gap of the kitchen door and listened in._

"_YOU LET HIM WHAT?!"_

"_John he's fine, he was smart enough to know he shouldn't go too near the water, he's fine and at this rate he won't be going near that pond for the rest of his life."_

"_YOU'RE DAMN STRAIGHT HE WON'T!! DEAN MATTHEW WINCHESTER!!"_

"_Y-yes Dad?"_

"_What is this about you wandering off to a lake young man?!"_

"_M'sorry dad, I said to Uncle Bobby I was sorry." _

_Bobby knew the boy was trying to look older in front of John right now, trying to be the soldier John was training him so young to be, so there were no 'Daddy's' and no 'Unca's' at this time._

"_Dean, you know better than to go playing where you're not supposed to! What have I said about being smart?!"_

"_M'sorry daddy..." and there it was, John's stone cold look had wiped away the strength in Dean and left him to a mere crying little boy again in less than one sentence._

"_YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN YOURSELF KILLED!!"_

"_John I think he gets it now, leave the kid al-"_

"_He's my son! I'll punish him as I see fit!"_

_Bobby sighed loud and hard at John's methods, he hoped Dean would grow up strong, otherwise the boy was going to grow up a broken mess._

"_Dean! What would your mother think?! HUH?!! What would she say to you if you got yourself killed?!"_

"_John I think he understands you now."_

"_She'__d__ say you were __a__ stupid little shit that should have known better wouldn't she!?!" _

_Dean hiccupped at the mention of his mother, he hated when his dad used his love for his mommy to make him feel worse than any time out or spanking would._

"_Dean! Look at me when I'm talking to you!" John yelled as Dean sobbed and his face in his chest._

"_S-sorry," he stuttered._

"_Don't you ever think about pulling a stunt like this again or I'll give you whipping so hard you won't be sitting down for a week! Go pack your things! We're leaving!"_

_Dean took off running, he didn't even have it in him to cry anymore, he understood his father all too well when he was talked to like that, no tears or begging would do him justice, only pure obedience would help him now. _

"_You better pray that CPS take that kid away from you before you break what's left of him!"_

"_Stay outa this! I'm trying to protect him! I know what's best for my son!"_

"_John for crying out loud, you're making that kid terrified of you, not protecting him!"_

"_Yeah well, at least he'll be terrified of going near that death trap of a pond from now on. I'll call you if I need anything." _

"_Dean, you be good okay sport?" Bobby smiled cupping the young child's cheek trying to help him as best he could while he was still in his house for the next few minutes._

_Dean nodded silently then followed his father out to the Impala, carrying far too much luggage for a child his size and age._

"_You never even so much as look at water again till I say otherwise, do you understand?" John hissed as he slammed the door and drove off full speed out of Singer's yard._

_Dean nodded once, it was rigid and just about readable, but it was a nod at least._

"_DEAN!" _

"_Yes sir."_

"_Next stop we find, I'm teaching you how to swim," John said to his boy, only trouble was, Dean was sure it wasn't going to be as much fun as it sounded to others._

**Now...**

"SAM!!" he screamed, his tone no longer angry...just full of pure, blind, nightmare terror. "Nonononooooo, SAMMY!!"

He knew he should dive in...but he couldn't, he just couldn't make his legs move, they were frozen stiff as he watched his baby brother drown.

"DAD!!! DAD!! HELP ME!! SOMEBODY PLEASE!! DAD!!!" he screamed as he finally got his shaking form to move.

He kneeled down in the mud and tried to reach out as Sam bobbed up and down and pure panic was etched on his face as he screamed himself, reaching for anything to hold onto.

"God please, Sam take my hand, Sam come on you can do it! I know you can! SAAMMYY!" he screamed trying to reach further, willing his body to dive in the water...but all he had in his mind was his dad screaming at him, telling him he was to learn how to swim whether he liked it or not.

Sam tried to doggie paddle back to shore, but nothing was working, his flying limbs and sobs were just making things worse and helping him sink faster, and drift out further.

"EEE!! EEE!!" he screamed praying for his big brother, his hero to come pull him out, but all he could see was Dean crying and not reaching out far enough.

"Sammy please!! HELP!! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP MEEEEEE!!" Dean screamed louder than he ever thought he could.

"Dean?! Dean!!" he heard his dad yell, and thankfully the calls were getting closer.

"DAD!! HELP ME!! PLEASE!! Somebody...anybody..."

"Dean hold on!!" Bobby yelled after.

Dean turned back to his brother, he tried to reach out, he tried to stretch his limb but nothing was working...and he knew he'd lost everything when Sam gasped in a long deep breath when the water consumed him, the darkness swallowing him whole.

"SAMMM!!!" Dean screamed when Sam's strength ran out and he finally gave up.

In the distance, John saw everything, he saw Sam sink, he could see Dean reaching out but not nearly far enough, he could see the pain, he could see his boy break. Then finally...he saw Dean jump in the deep water, going in search for his baby brother.

John and Bobby were just yards away now, he sucked in a deep breath then launched himself in the air and down to dive in the water. He didn't care for the metal spike embedded in the lake's banking that cut deep in his shoulder; he just swam further down and tried to find Sam, for both his sons' sakes.

He couldn't see anything but shrapnel, parts of old cars, toys from drowned victims, black angry water blocking his vision from finding his baby boy. He saw Dean swimming further but even he himself knew couldn't hold his breath for a second longer so he grabbed his eldest son round his chest and pulled them both up.

"Breathe DEAN! BREATHE!" he yelled, telling his son to take deep breathes as he struggled to get back under the water. John knew it wouldn't do Sam any good if Dean suffocated down there too. When he was sure he had enough air he let Dean go and sure enough they were both under the water again searching for the missing piece of their family together.

He caught a glimpse of Bobby going back up for air then kicked himself mentally in the head for wasting precious time Sam didn't have, looking around for the wrong thing.

He swam deeper than anyone had ever attempted, he didn't care for his own life, he just needed to make sure they found Sam. But now John couldn't even see his other son, and just for a second, he thought he'd lost them both. He whipped the moth away from his vision and looked down, really looked...then finally....he saw them.

Dean was pulling Sam free from the old leaves and debris and John went down further to help...thankfully the deepness of the water seemed to have cushioned Sam's blow on the hard rock edge he was perched on.

When Sam was finally free, floating just a little more above the rocks, John reached down fast and hard, grabbed anything he could of the cold limp body. He then grabbed hold of what he knew to be Dean's hand and dragged them both upwards with more power than he ever thought he had in him.

It was only when he saw his friend's old trucker hat floating down that he realised Bobby was pulling his boys up too.

When they reached oxygen, the next few seconds? Minutes? Hours? Years? Seemed to go by in a blur.

Dean was the first up so he pushed himself out of the water and reached for Sam, and it felt so good he could reach out far enough to catch his baby brother finally, he pulled Sam out of the water by the kid's shirt. Then the soaking men pushed out of the water to go help revive the unconscious boy, not even sparing time to take a breath themselves, they couldn't afford to slow their pace down now.

"Please Sammy, please please please...Sammy!!" Dean yelled slapping his brother wet cheek before he was pushed out of the way.

_One, two, three, four, five..._

John tipped Sam's head back and blew in his mouth then moved back for Bobby to start another round of compressions.

_One, two, three, four, five..._

Breath...

_One, two, three, four, five..._

Breath...

_One, two, three, four, five, six..._

Breath...

_One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight..._

Breath........

_One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten......_

Breath...................

_One...two...three...four...... five........_

....Breath...............................

_One...two..........three......four..._

They were out of breath...their lungs burned...and Sam might have been pronounced dead by doctors at this point...but they took one look at each other, and one look at Sam, then pushed on.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight..." Bobby counted aloud this time.

Breath........ "Come on Sammy, breathe..."

"D-Dad please tell me he's gonna be okay...."

_One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten......_

Breath...................

"It's not working!"

"Come on Sam!" John yelled willing some of his strength into the Sam who was now turning a painful shade of blue and it was horrifying to watch him lay there dead on the floor.

"SAMMY!!" Dean screamed pushing the others out of the way, he brought his hand up and let it down hard and fast, punching his fist hard into Sam's chest trying to get the blockage clear, if Sam made it through this, his cracked chest would hurt like hell for months...but right now, the future was so faded, they didn't have time to think about the hereafter, if he could just get Sam's damn heart to get going again! "Come on Sam! You got a damn good heart! Now get it working you stubborn little bitch!!! Wake up!! You hear me!!! NOW!!! WAKE THE FUCK UP SAMMMYY!! COME ON!! COME ONN!!!"

_Punch...._

_Punch!!_

_Punchhhhh!!!!!!!_

"Dean...son...he's not coming...Dean...."

"COME ON!! SAAMMMYYYY!!"

_PUCHHHH!!!!_

_**PUNCCCCCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

_Choke..._

Pray....

_Gasp........_

Wait............

_Cough......thump...thump....thump...._

_**TBC...**_


	13. To think I might not see those eyes

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**To think I might not see those eyes**

"Dean...son...he's not coming...Dean...." John cried trying to pull his eldest away from the now...dead body that was Sam.

But Dean wasn't giving up, he couldn't, he had to see Sam through this so he could make it right.

"COME ON!! SAAMMMYYYY!!"

A few more punches, more sounds of Sam's chest cracking, then finally, after one last ram of a fist, Sam finally gasped, coughed, and choked out the water in his lungs.

Dean let out half a sob and half a laugh in shock as he pulled Sam up and over so he could cough better as his head was in between his knees.

"Come on Sammy, come on kiddo, please just stick with me okay? I know, I know," he cooed patting the boy on the back to clear the gunk quicker. "Sshh, ssshh, I'm sorry, god I'm so sorry, you're okay, you're okay Sammy, sshh, sshh, big brothers gotcha, I gotcha, Deanie's right here," he chanted, mostly to keep his mind occupied while he helped Sam come round. By now the boy had gone back into a deep daze of unconsciousness but at least his heart was beating, everything else they could deal with as long as Sam was alive.

"I'll go call an ambulance!" Bobby yelled running back up the hill towards his house, the climb would usually have taken him a good 5 minutes, but with the adrenalin pumping and the previous sight of his 'nephew' for the lack of a better term, lying there so still, painfully turning blue on the ground, his hike took him no longer than 2 and half minutes.

He got to his house and almost ran through the door. His dialling was off at first; he was rushing so fast he could barely make out the numbers on his phone. When the caller said 'this connection does not exist, please try again later' he took a few deep breathes, blinked, then dialled as carefully as his shaking fingers allowed him.

"_Hello, emergency services, this is Linda, how may I help you?"_

"Y-yeah, my nephew, he was running and he tripped and fell into a lake and he drowned and-"

"_Okay sir, calm down." _

'_I just fucking saw my nephew...practically my own flesh and blood drown!! How the hell can I calm down?!' _his mind was screaming at him.

"_Is he still under the water sir?"_

"No, we got him out, but it took us longer than it should have..."

Bobby cursed himself for not fencing off that damn lake, or filling it in years ago.

"_And is your nephew unconscious? Is he breathing?"_

"Yeah he's breathing now..."

'_What the hell is with the 20 questions? Can't you just ask me where he is then send us help?!!'_

"_Okay sir, can you tell me your nephew's location and an ambulance will be on its way."_

Bobby told her his address, told her they were a good mile from the house and that he would be waiting for them at his main gate.

"...thank you..."

"_Okay sir, help is on the way, would you like me to stay on the line?"_

"No we'll be fine just tell them to hurry the hell up!"

Bobby hung up then ran back out his house, he waited for what felt like hours, which actually turned out to no longer than 4 minutes when he heard the sirens. He waved them to follow him in the ambulance, trying to figure out the closest but safest place they could park. He reached the very end before the drop of the hill then waved an X telling them to stop there. He then took off knowing they wouldn't be far behind.

"How's he doing?" he asked running down the hill, careful not to fall in the lake himself as he joined the Winchesters once again. He also watched closely as the paramedics looked over the edge then nodded that they were coming before disappearing again, probably to get the gear from the back of the ambulance.

By now, Dean had Sam pulled up against him, he had his arms wrapped tight around the panting and wheezing boy. John had his hand threaded through the kid's right hand and his other on Dean's shoulder.

"Sam! Come on you gotta wake up, Sammy!!" Dean yelled as he ran his hand through Sam's hair, trying to rouse the boy.

"He's unconscious again," was all John said. Truth was, he didn't really know what to say, Dean wasn't the type to listen to quiet chants of 'it will be okay son.' So he knew not to bother, he knew just to leave Dean alone right now, all he could do was be there if he was needed, for either of his boys.

Bobby approached Dean, he shuffled on his knees so that he was kneeling closer to the older kid and tried to offer some support with a hand on his leg...but Dean didn't like that too much.

"FUCK OFF!!" he yelled. It was so cold, Bobby couldn't help but flinch and thankfully before Dean started pounding on him, he lifted his hand and scooted away.

He looked over at John, demanding answers, but the father simply shrugged. He had no clue, but the strange thing was, he was the one that still had a hand on his son's shoulder.

"Sammy, come on let me see those eyes, come on, I'll go get you Brownie, I'll never make fun of you for having a stuffed toy again, please just wake up and let me know you're okay?"

They all held their breath, waiting for something to happen, but it never did.

"I'll not make fun of your hair anymore, you can grow it as long as you like..."

John sighed, he was glad Dean was making an effort, it was better than the alternative, but it wasn't any less painful to watch as the hope fizzled from his son's eyes.

"I'll let you have a beer? Your first beer with your big bro...come on...?"

And still nothing.

"Okay, I got it! I know you're only 14 but you're damn smart, so I'll teach you how to drive if you open those eyes? I'll even let you test run the Impala, huh? Come on what's more grown up than that kiddo?"

Dean carried on the bargaining till the voices of strangers could be heard, the building panic of those medics coming closer, ready to take Sam away from him at any moment, was the thing that made his rambles stop.

John had to pull his eldest from his youngest just so the paramedics could check the unconscious boy out. Dean screamed, raged, bit his dad and Bobby on several attempts to get free. The medics even had to cut Sam's shirt free from Dean's grasp at one point in the painful struggle.

Only when they had Sam on a stretcher, and Dean was left standing numb with hands full with his brother's cut shirt did he stop fighting.

"Dean, Dean? Come on, they have to take him to the hospital son, come on you can ride in the back."

John coached his son up the hill, and pushed the frozen teen into the back of the ambulance.

"Sir? You're bleeding, I think you should climb in the back and let me check that out," the male medic, Alphie, said pointing to the deep cut on John's shoulder, the cut he had completely forgotten about.

But that offer was crap, he knew only one extra person, usually a parent, could sit in the back with the patient. "No, if I get in the back then my eldest won't be able to, just take them to the hospital. Dean I'll see you kids there okay?"

"Sir, your eldest is bleeding too, I think the hospital wouldn't mind if we bend the rules today."

Dean gulped when he noticed the cut, the hurting like a mother gash down the side of his leg and he thanked the gods when his dad jumped in the ambulance and sat next to him.

"He's gonna be fine Dean, thanks to you."

John never flinched once when Alphie the medic was patching him up, it was a quick fix till they got to the hospital he said, then John told him to check Dean out too. But again, when it wasn't Sam or his dad's hands touching him, Dean didn't like it one bit.

"Whoa there sport...just calm down, I'll do my best to be gentle okay kid?" Alphie said holding his hands up in surrender when Dean hissed at him.

"Dean, you want me to-?"

Dean nodded when his father asked silently if he wanted him to be the one patching him up.

John took the gauze from the guy and started to dab Dean's leg, clearing some of the scabbed up blood.

"You get this from that spike thing down there?"

Dean nodded, his eyes never leaving Sam's once as the man turned up the oxygen levels his little brother was receiving through the clouded up mask.

"His SAT's are dropping that's all, it's just to give him a little more help," Alphie explained. "Trust me, most kids that have a little drowning accident walk back out of the hospital within the next day or two."

The first thing that came to Dean's mind..._'Sam's not most kid's, and this wasn't like most accidents.'_

Then the second...and third, and fourth...and fifth....and sixth...thought...was....

'_It's all my fault! I was so mean, I was worse than Tony and Kyle! I was worse than those bullies back when I first saw him...I'm so much worse! I thought, I convinced myself I was looking out for Sam, I was trying to toughen him up for the better, but instead, I broke him! I freaking broke my little brother! He's gonna hate me! He's never gonna wanna come home with me after this, god this is all my fault! First mom, now Sam, what next? Bobby? Dad? What am I gonna end up doing to them? God...I said MY dad...like he wasn't Sam's, like he was mine only and Sam didn't deserve him, I called him a baby, I said he was the blame for all his bad luck...no, I was wrong, I'm to blame, this is all the wonderful work of the grand Dean Asshole Winchester...god Sammy I am so sorry....'_

"Dean? Dean you with me son?"

Dean sat up in the bed, the very white bed, Dean didn't think it was Bobby's but maybe the old man redecorated.

"Wha....? What happened? Sammy? I had a dream he drowned, where is he? What happened?"

"Dean, you passed out in the ambulance, good thing actually cos you had an infection the size of Kansas growing in that leg. You would have probably ripped the medic's throat out if you were awake."

"Where's Sammy?" Dean rushed not giving a crap about himself, he had a god awful feeling that his 'dream' wasn't much of a dream at all.

"He's right here...told you he'd be okay," John grinned, moving out of the way revealing Sam sleeping in the bed right next to Dean. Sure, he had a cannula pushing a little extra oxygen into him, and an IV the size of a knitting needle in his hand, but overall he was doing much better than anyone could have envisioned.

"What's...is he...how...?"

"He woke up a little after your face plant, he's still got some trouble breathing but the docs are pretty optimistic he can go home tomorrow."

John could see the look in his son's eyes, ever since he opened them and took one look at his baby brother in the hospital bed. John didn't need to be a psychic to know that the look of pain was that of guilt, and how much it was ripping his son apart.

"Dean, listen to me**,** okay?"

Dean looked over at his father and nodded stiffly.

"When they wheeled you two off in different directions, his screaming...well let's just say he could have given you a good run for your money."

And that was all John had to say for Dean to know his baby brother still wanted...still needed him.

"S-so...he's okay? He's really...he's not..."

"He's gonna be just fine Ace."

"No thanks to me..." Dean mumbled as his father rubbed a comforting well done hand on his shoulder.

"Every thanks to you actually. Dean you saved him, if you hadn't have pounded on his chest, we would be at his funeral right now, so don't be so hard on yourself."

"How is his chest anyway? I mean I...I practically shattered it...with my..." Dean looked at the side of his own fist and winced at the yellowing bruise there.

"He's fine," was all John said once again.

"But?"

"But nothing, he's fine."

"Dad in our family, 'fine' doesn't mean fine, what aren't you telling me?"

"He...his chest...it's a little bruised is all."

Dean's eyes filled with tears, a bit of bruising probably meant he smashed Sam's chest bone into pieces.

"But everyone, all the staff here are all saying how amazing you are for acting so fast, it's a small price to pay for having Sam breathing Dean, Sam knows that."

"He wouldn't even be here if I hadn't said what I did."

"You mean about telling Sam it was his fault and we had to save him again back at the diner?"

Dean got another flash of guilt and pain on his face then.

"When Bobby got back home the other day, he told me he found something left on his computer, what you kids were fighting about."

"I-I didn't mean to...I just snapped, I was just...I-"

John could see Dean was having trouble with his words, he knew just with one look at his posture, his eldest was feeling responsible for too damn much in this world. Everyone knew it wasn't anyone's fault, things just got out of hand once again, but trying to get that through to two hormonal teenage boys was easier said than done.

"What happened kiddo?" he asked standing over his eldest a bit more giving Dean his full attention.

"I just want to make sure he's okay you know? I mean we won't always be here to protect him. I just wanted him to get mad at me, like throw a punch or something, but he didn't get mad...he just got really upset. I should have known better...Sam doesn't react like I do, when something upsets him, he runs, and this time...he ran too far and...god I nearly killed him cos I was so damn selfish."

"Dean stop this crap, right now and listen to me. No matter how many arguments, fights, punches or slammed doors you kids are gonna throw, I guarantee you two will stick together like glue. You're best friends, and more importantly, you're brothers, always will be. He doesn't blame you kid, so stop blaming yourself, got it?" John ran a hand through his son's hair affectionately, then got back on his chair thinking that was the end of it...not for Dean, he would never forgive himself, no matter if Sam did or not.

"What day is it?" he swallowed his tears and hoped moving onto another subject would help pass the time.

"Friday, it was Wednesday when you kids got in here."

"I've been asleep for that long?"

"Yeah, you were awake the last day but kind of out of it, good to see you lucid actually, you were starting to freak _me_ out," and in John world that meant 'I was shit scared for you kiddo.'

"How come I was..._out_ of it?"

"Shock, infection, and one hell of a fever, next time the paramedics wanna check you over, you're going to comply, you got that?"

"Infection? I had that cut for 45 minutes at most."

"It was a fast infection, what can I say?"

"Why didn't you get it? You got cut too."

"I'm just awesome I guess."

"Funny..." he snapped then brought his hand up and reached up to grip his... "Oh no...oh shit! Where's my...oh no no no this can't be happening."

John knew what he was looking for, so he stood once again and took it out of his pocket.

"Dean, breathe, here, I take it you're looking for this."

"Oh...thank you, thank you!" Dean yelled kissing the amulet as he looked over at his sleeping brother again.

"Bobby found it on the side of the lake yesterday."

"He went back to that death trap? Why?"

"He feels almost as bad as you, said he should have filled that lake in years ago, the first time you almost drowned in that thing."

"Yeah..." Dean remembered that day all too well, his father was just starting to be more like his dad again. But after that day when John came home from the hunt, tired, angry and shit pissed at Bobby, the dad left, and the angry, revenge driven psychotic drill sergeant returned. "When's Sammy gonna wake up?" Dean asked moving from one painful subject back to another. It hurt to talk about Sam in the same way right now, but he had to know everything that was going on with his little brother.

"They had to sedate him because he was trying to get into your bed every time the nurses left the room, he should be out for another 2 hours at least, just long enough for you to get some more sleep, cos I gotta say, you look like crap."

"Nice, thanks."

"Welcome, now go to sleep, I'll be here."

"And Sammy?" Dean asked, his voice suddenly changing to the scared little 5 year old from all those years ago.

"Sammy's not going anywhere. Night kiddo."

"Night dad...night Sammy."

_**TBC...**_

**I've sid this a million times today, I know I should stop soon but I wanna say it just one more time...I can't help it...**

**PUDDING!!!!!**_**  
**_


	14. We have to grow up some day

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**We have to grow up some day**

**2 days ago...**

"Oh crap, help! I need help!!" John yelled when his eldest started shaking violently on the bed.

Sam was crying, he needed to make sure his big brother was okay but no one was telling him anything, just that they had an accident. He was so sick of being babied and being lied to!

He lashed out and caught John in the middle of his back.

Nurses rushed in, pushed John out of the way and wheeled Sam's bed to the furthest end of the room to make as much space as they could.

"He's gonna be okay Sam," John promised as he threaded his hand through Sam's knowing the boy needed answers, the punch in his back was obviously a cry for someone to talk to him, _'guess he missed Dean's company like hell.'_

After several minutes passed nurses and staff started to dissipate from the room leaving just the doctor to explain.

"Your son spiked a rather high fever which is the reason for his convulsions before, we'll continue to cool him down and I've started him on a stronger antibiotic. We should see some improvement within the next few hours."

"When will he wake up?" John asked still squeezing Sam's hand for support.

"That's really up to Dean, give it time Mr. Winchester, his body's been through a lot these last few days."

'_You're telling me!'_

"I'll stop by in an hour to see how he's doing."

"Thanks doc."

The doctor nodded then left.

"See, told you, it's gonna be fine."

Sam nodded then started swinging on the bed, he whimpered some then did the quickest leap John had ever seen anything do. Thankfully Sam didn't have much energy so he didn't get very far from his own bed.

"Sam, back in bed," John ordered but Sam shook his head then tried to climb up next to Dean. John couldn't deny the boy of any more today so he helped Sam up and watched as the boys automatically curled protectively into each other.

He hoped Sam would get some sleep now he was with Dean but his eyes were still wide and he almost looked like he was on guard duty. When he saw the young boy grip a hand to his painful chest whilst he coughed up some flem John left the room then asked for a nurse.

"Could you give him something so he can get some sleep? Dean will kill me if he wakes up and Sam's not sleeping sound."

"Okay, it's time for his pain meds soon anyway so that should knock him out for a few hours, I'll make sure Dean doesn't tear into you too much," she smiled before she left.

John couldn't help but feel guilty for thinking there were some perks to having a deaf son, Sam was none the wiser when the nurse pushed the meds through his IV and soon enough Sam's eyes were closing.

"I'll just go get some assistance so we can put him back in his own bed."

"No, I got it," John said hooking his arms under Sam's legs and arm, he lifted the boy and carefully placed him back in the bed furthest away from the door. The nurse tucked him in with a smile then left after she asked if John was okay. Obviously he nodded a yes only thinking of his sons. "Man Deano you better wake up soon kid, or so help me I'll kick your ass and let Sam help."

**~S/D~**

**Now...**

"Damn pain in the ass," Bobby cursed the lake as he signed the papers for ownership of the death trap.

He contacted his local council and asked who had the legal possession of the mile stretch of land surrounding his yard and it turned out, no one did, hadn't for a very long time. He asked if they could do something about it, fill the useless lake in, or nuke it at least. But the only solution they came up with was he could buy the land for a very reasonable price then he could do whatever he liked with it. For his nephew's sakes and the lives of every person who was lost to the water, he bought it.

Now all that was left was sending the papers off, then draining every last evil drop of water from the hell hole down there.

John had also called him and said the boys were both being released later on today as Dean and Sam were doing much better, so he had some work to do, some making up to do for almost getting them all killed.

"Good riddance," he said licking the envelope shut after he folded the papers neat inside.

**~S/D~**

"Can I have a feel of his chest?" Dr. Cook asked John, standing in the middle of the hospital room.

"Ask him, he is a person you know."

"Right, sorry, um...Saaaammmm?" he asked slower than required but John chose to ignore it. "Can I have a feel of your chest?"

Sam nodded, he was a little hesitant but when he saw Dean was watching him like a hawk he nodded the best he could, trying to not look like he was scared right now.

John helped Sam take the gown off and shuffle it to his hips so the doc could have a listen.

Sam sat forward when he was motioned to and jumped when the stethoscope touched his back.

John was smiling at him which helped, but it was still freaking him out, he wanted nothing more than to make all those people go away and to be left alone to have a normal quiet afternoon with his big brother.

"Is he okay dad?" Dean asked, trying to lean over to see if his little brother was doing okay.

"He's fine, just a little jumpy."

Dean nodded then knew what he had to do, he pushed out of his own bed and limped over to Sam before anyone could stop him. John made a little space for his eldest and Dean squeezed in the middle so he could see how Sam was doing. But when he saw Sam, he also saw his black and bloodied chest.

"Holy...shit," he gasped knowing he was the cause. '_Little bruising my ass!!!'_

Sam refused to look his big brother in the eye, painful tears filled his own and he didn't want Dean to think he was any more of a baby than he already did.

"Sammy I'm, I'm so sorry."

Dean let the doctor prod and poke his brother for a few minutes before it all became too much for the both.

"Mmmaahh!" Sam yelped when the doctor tapped on a particular tender spot.

"Stop it, you're hurting him!" Dean yelled pulling the doctor away. "Hey Sammy it's okay, he can't hurt you, I'm not gonna let anyone else hurt you," he cooed holding his baby brother's hand till the shaking stopped. Trouble was, when the shaking stopped, Sam let go of the hand in his and Dean had no choice but to stagger away in shock. "Sam I..."

Sam just simply wiped away the water in his eyes then looked up at his big brother and smiled ever so lightly.

When Dean felt the sharp implement being removed from his chest as Sam smiled at him, he calmed himself down enough to let the doctor check them both out. He handed John a prescription sheet for them both, some antibiotics for Dean and some painkillers for Sam, sent his apologies to them all then left them to it.

"That wasn't so bad," John said far too jolly to be the real John Winchester.

"Dad why didn't you tell me?!" Dean yelled out of the blue.

"What?"

"Sam's chest! Fuck!" was all the older boy could get out before his eyes stung once again.

"Dean, this is why, just stop it, let's pick this up when we get back to Bobby's, I'm beat and I need a shower."

Dean nodded then let his father help him pull his sweats over his bandaged leg.

Sam gulped when he saw the yellow tinge the white bandage had, no one would tell him what was wrong with Dean and why he was shaking so much the other day.

"Sam, you want some help?" Dean asked his brother as he pulled the gown off the rest of the way before Sam even nodded yes.

When John laid out some clothes for them Dean opted for the button up shirt and zip up hoodie for his baby brother, knowing it would be the easiest thing for Sam to put on without being in pain.

He didn't pay much attention when he was pulling a t-shirt over his own head, he just wanted to make sure Sam was getting better, he owed him that much, and so much more.

"Sam let me help," Dean said to his little brother as he pushed from the bed wincing as he got to his feet.

Dean tried his best not to limp as he supported his brother down the hall before any nurses could insist on wheelchairs.

"Hey boys, ready to go?" Bobby asked meeting them at the entrance to the paediatric ward.

"More than," Dean grunted then swatted Bobby's help away.

"I don't know about you helping Sam, I'd say he was keeping you vertical right now."

Dean glared at the man making jokes then pushed past without a word heading for the lifts.

"What's up with him?"

"Just a touchy subject right now," John explained to his old friend as they made their way to the lift Dean holding and slowly strode to the car park, hovering behind the boys in case they needed help but staying far enough away that they wouldn't get their heads bitten off.

"What did the hearing doc say when she saw Sam the other day?"

"Nothing, she had a quick look in his ears then said he was fine, no more tests needed."

"That's one good thing then."

"Yeah, Dean was relieved, one less thing to worry about for all of us."

"Yeah...right..."

_**TBC...**_


	15. Do you want the truth or something beaut

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**Do you want the truth or something beautiful?**

It had been 7 days since they had been allowed to go home, Sam could sign finally, he was reduced to minimal words at a time but he was getting there. Dean and his baby brother were sitting on the couch watching some random cartoon while Bobby and John went out to fix some cars.

"Sam? Sammy, hey you okay?" Dean asked when the boy started coughing far too wet for his liking. Sure Sam had a nasty cough since the accident but this recent cough was just gross. "Sam," Dean rubbed his brother's back and patted it lightly, trying to help Sam clear the flem that was obviously stuck. "S'okay just get it out..."

Sam forced his coughing to be harder then finally spat out the wet into his hand.

"Here," Dean cringed handing the boy a tissue. _**"You okay?"**_

Sam nodded but didn't give Dean anything more which made a deep cut in the older boy's chest. He was sick of the nods and simple one word answers Sam had been handing out since they got home from the hospital, were they going out of fashion or something?

"Sam?"

Sam looked at and asked 'what' just with one simple blink, it was crazy to think one touch, one blink, one twist of the lips could tell Dean all what Sam was thinking, but lately, Dean had been having so much trouble trying to read his younger brother.

"_**Talk to me?"**_ Dean asked.

"_**About what?"**_ Sam asked back, he knew Dean wanted to talk, but the subject Dean was referring to was just too sore right now for them both so he'd been keeping his trap shut all week, so to speak.

"_**Everything, anything,"**_ Dean pleaded.

Sam just shrugged, what did Dean want him to talk about? The news? The weather? The hot weather woman? What?!

"_**Sam? What the hell happened?"**_

"_**With what?"**_ Sam asked swallowing his building tears, the look Dean had was killing him!

"_**Us, Sammy you used to tell me everything, what grade you got in your maths quiz, what your books are about, how your day was. Ever since the accident...you haven't told me anything, I'm just worried about you; I want you to tell me what's going on in your head, please?"**_

"_**I'm fine."**_

"Well I sure as hell am not," Dean mumbled to himself secretly wanting Sam to ask him how his day was, ask him what he planned for the rest of the week, but Sam never heard, Sam never even raised his head to read Dean's saddened lips. He elbowed the kid then asked, "hey Sam, where's Brownie?" trying to fake the perkiness his voice suddenly got.

Sam shrugged, he did know, he was tucked under his bed, where Dean couldn't see him. Sam still needed the dog to make him feel safe but he wanted to prove to them he was old enough not to need a stuffed toy anymore.

"_**You lose him? We can go look if you want, I'm sure he's around here somewhere."**_

Sam shook his head, and again, shrugged with as little enthusiasm as possible.

"Fine, suit yourself," Dean snapped, standing from the sofa and slamming the door as he exited the house, knowing Sam would feel that.

Sam was having trouble controlling his tears so he took off and ran up the steps as fast as his tired lungs would let him.

He went straight for what was under his bed and held him close to his chest, he swore he wouldn't do this, he wouldn't cry for a week at least, but his goal had been shattered with just one more day to go.

"Sam?" Dean asked walking back in the room, it only took a few steps for him to feel guilty for leaving Sam like that, and in actual fact, when he heard the sniffles he was relieved almost that Sam was still in there. _**"I'm sorry,"**_ Dean signed with the hand held over his heart.

"_**Me too,"**_ Sam signed back pulling out of his shell and leaning his head on Dean's shoulder.

"_**You wanna talk to me now?"**_

Sam shook his head, but there was something different in his eyes this time, it wasn't stubbornness or attitude, it was just sorrow and sadness, something Dean could heal much easier.

"I gotcha Sammy," Dean promised hugging Sam tighter to his side and letting the kid relax for the first time in weeks.

Sam coughed a little, mewed awkwardly pressing a hand to his tight chest then breathed in Dean's scent of well worn leather that had rubbed from his favoured jacket.

"Let me take a look at that," Dean said nudging Sam to sit up. He unbuttoned Sam shirt, much to the kid's dislike, then took a good look at the painful bruises he had caused. "Jeez," he cursed ghosting a hand over the marks.

Sam swatted the hand away and gave Dean a look of annoyance.

"_**I told you I'm fine."**_

"That does not look fine."

"_**Stop babying me**_," Sam huffed, pushing Dean's hands off and buttoning his shirt up so Dean would stop gawking at him.

"_**Sam is this about what I said? I told you I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."**_

"_**But you did, I need to grow up, so let me,"**_ and with that Sam stood from his bed, and went back downstairs.

"Damn it!" Dean yelled kicking Bobby's wardrobe in frustration. "Why the hell did I have to go and say that shit? 'I won't always be around'," he mocked himself, "course I will, I'll freaking come back as a ghost, a vampire, a whatever, if that's what it takes to watch over that kid! God I'm so stupid!!"

**~S/D~**

"Sam?" Bobby asked wondering why the boy was sat lonely on his front porch. He sat down next to the boy and tapped him lightly on the shoulder. _**"What's wrong?"**_

Sam shook his head, and leaned his other ear on the other shoulder turning away from Bobby.

The old man had no choice but to walk round and sit at the other side of the boy.

"_**You kids have another fight?"**_ he asked knowing he and his big brother hadn't been the way they usually were for the last week.

Sam nodded miserably and unconsciously shuffled closer to Bobby.

"_**What about this time?"**_

At first Sam considered shrugging but then thought of how many times he knew Dean had confided in Bobby, so maybe he should start doing that too.

"_**Same thing."**_

"_**What same this is that then?"**_

"_**I want to be older."**_

"_**And?"**_ Bobby pushed nudging the boy to sit up.

"_**I'm confused."**_

"_**With what?"**_

"_**Either he does want me to grow up or he doesn't."**_

"_**Well I wish I had an answer for you kid, but Dean's as much of a mystery to me as he is to you right now."**_

"_**He told me to stop being a baby."**_

"_**Yeah I know kid."**_

"_**So what does that mean?"**_

"Sam...listen to me," Bobby didn't know how to say this in sign language so he made Sam watch his lips closely. "Dean was just trying to protect you, he's scared of what might happen if one of these days you need him and he's not there. Tell me the truth, when that guy was coming for you, did you try to take him down on your own first?"

Sam shook his head ashamed, no he didn't, he didn't even _try_.

"But you could have right? You were just scared right?"

Sam nodded.

"Well, Dean wants to show you how to not be scared anymore, how to take control and show those assholes in the world how much fight you have in you," Bobby pointed a finger at Sam's heart and showed what he meant. "You ever heard of tough love?"

Sam nodded, he had heard of it, but he never really knew what it meant.

"Well Dean was trying it out on you, he wanted you to get mad so you would punch him."

"_**But I don't want to punch Dean, he's not the one that wanted to hurt me."**_

"But he did hurt you, didn't he? Those things he said hurt."

Sam nodded and wiped the tears that were now coming down.

"Well he was hoping if he got you upset then you could fight back, but...it didn't quite go as planned."

"_**So he does want me to stop being a baby?"**_

"Not in so many words, he just wants to get your confidence up high enough that you can kick some butt when you have to. Understand?"

Sam nodded, his face showed confusion but he nodded.

"You kids will work it out, brothers always do."

Sam nodded, hoping the wise old guy was right.

**15 days later... **

Over the last few weeks the tight knit family that was the Winchesters had finally moved out of Bobby's and were back on the road doing what they did best. Dean made a quick recovery from his infection and Sam had been accident free since his tumble in the lake, well...the bigger accidents anyway.

"Dad!"

"What?"

"Sammy fell down again!"

There was a long sympathetic sigh from the bathroom before the toilet was flushed and a tired John Winchester appeared carrying the first aid kit.

"Sit down," he told a huffing grazed kneed Sam.

Lately there had been a lot less signing from Dean and John because Sam was getting amazing well at reading lips so when he saw John's finger leading to the bed he sat down.

"_**Sorry,"**_ he signed when he saw both Dean and John's expressions, he knew the more he carried on falling down the more risk there would be on a hunt and the less hunts they would let him go on. _'I really need to get better at hiding the dizzy crap!'_

"It's okay Sam," John said as he rolled up Sam's jeans over his knees to see the mess the kid had done this week.

"Dad?" Dean asked leaning over to take a look as Sam swung his legs off the end of the bed while John cleaned the rubble from his skin.

"He'll be fine, not too deep this time," John told him and Dean nodded still looking guilty.

"_**Wasn't your fault,"**_ Sam told him looking up with his puppy eyes.

"I should have been looking out for you."

"_**I'm a big boy."**_

"Well that says otherwise Shaggy."

Sam stuck his tongue out then poked his nose, Dean knew what that meant.

"_**Bitch."**_

"_**Jerk!"**_

"Boys give it a rest," John warned as dabbed a cotton ball with peroxide.

Dean lost his making fun face and sat right on the bed next to Sam to squeeze his shoulder and place a hand on his thigh, last time this part happened Sam's reflexes buzzed in and he kicked John in the nose.

"Ready?" John asked to Sam and the kid nodded but still sucked in a breath when the acid burned through his knee caps. "Sorry kiddo," John said wiping the kid's knees a few more times before dropping the red and grit stained cotton ball then sticking band aids over the cuts.

Dean was still with the sour face as Sam smiled a thank you then hopped off bed and ran straight for the TV.

"No harm done," John announced cleaning the mess before going back to his table to research some more.

"Dad, I'm gonna go out to get some food," Dean said miserably.

"Dean, Sam's right, not your fault, he's a big boy now, he's fine to get a few cuts and bumps, it's what kids do."

"Yeah, I know, still sucks that I couldn't be there to make sure he didn't fall on his face again."

"Tell ya what, get him some knee pads, it'll be a good joke and make you feel better," John said handing Dean a few notes.

"Thanks. Sammy?" Dean asked, tossing Brownie at the kid's head to get his attention making him pout and pick his dog up from the floor. "You coming?" he asked nodding to the door.

Sam shook his head then turned back to the TV watching his program intently squinting at the cartoon lips.

As Dean chuckled and left it was John's turn to toss something at Sam to get his attention.

"Turn it over and come away from the screen,"__he ordered very fatherly and almost laughed when Sam made a 'no fair!' face but shuffled away from the TV and turned it to an old black and white film with actual actors in it he could practice with. "Good boy," John praised then went back to his hunting papers.

It didn't take Sam long to lose interest in the film and he came shuffling over to see what John was doing.

The old hunter laughed then pulled out a chair for the kid to sit on and look over his stuff with him.

"_**Dead guy?"**_ Sam asked pointing to the picture of the victim of the latest spook in town.

"Several dead guys," John corrected handing Sam other articles of more victims with ripped open guts.

Sam read very quickly, much faster than Dean or John then hummed when he finished.

"_**So when are we going on this hunt?"**_ Sam asked.

"We aren't, you and Dean are staying here on this one."

Sam chocked up a hiccup and his eyes stung with tears.

"_**I'm sorry, I promise I won't fall over on the hunt, please, I'm sorry, I don't mean to I swear I won't get you or Dean killed please,"**_ he begged then gripped his fists in John's shirt.

"Hey, hey stop that, stop Sammy," John ordered kindly, waiting for Sam to calm down some, "I want you and Dean to stay home because I can handle this on my own,"__he thought for a few seconds and tried to pull out the knife in his chest then said, "but if you wanna come that's fine okay?"

Sam sniffled, wiped his hand under his nose then nodded.

"_**But no more tears okay, you're fine remember?"**_

Sam nodded and breathed a sigh of relief before feeling his cheeks burn with embarrassment. He was sick of always having to be reassured, he wanted to prove to them he wasn't a baby anymore but it just wasn't going as he planned.

"Good, now go watch something or draw okay," John said waving Sam off to go have fun, the kid needed it, '_maybe I should book some tickets to a game or find something fun in this town to do when the hunt's over, we all need a break.'_

It was true, they had been searching high and low, and 9/10th's of the country for the demon dick's wife Alice and her sons, they hadn't told Sam about it but they had looked and still almost 6 months later came up with a big huge steamy pile of crap all, same went for their search for _The Demon_.

"Hey I'm back," Dean said coming in with nothing but a small bag of doughnuts.

"Food still sucks in this town huh?"

"Yup," Dean said dropping the food next to Sam, the kid hadn't appeared to move since he left, but it was clear something had gone down when he saw the left-over's of puffy red eyes. "Dad, what happened?" Dean asked worried using everything he had not to run to Sam and hug the kid.

"He got a little upset when I said I didn't need you two on the hunt but it's cool now, you don't mind coming do you?" John asked casually looking up from his work.

"Not if Sammy wants to come," Dean said then walked over to the kid and smiled, ruffling his hair. Sam gave him a look of 'I'm sorry,' but Dean shook him off then tossed the bag of food in his lap. _**"**_Eat up, you need it for tonight," Dean told him and the kid grinned then leaned into his big brother saying thank you once again before tucking into the doughnuts.

**~S/D~**

Sam awoke with a jolt, he looked over at the other bed, Dean was still sleeping sound so he slipped from under his own covers and ran straight for the bathroom, again.

He locked the door then kneeled down and emptied his stomach of the contents and let a few tears slip. He knew eating those doughnuts was a bad idea. He let himself shiver on the cold tile floor before he stood and went for the first aid kit he knew John had set down earlier.

He opened the red box and went straight for the Tylenol, it was quickly running out so he knew he had to find a way of getting some more in the bottle before Dean or his dad noticed. It wasn't like they used the pills much, so that only left one suspect, him.

His ears had started hurting again a few weeks ago. Thing was, it wasn't like his other ear pains, it was more like a sharp ache this time, and it was started to spread to his jaw and head.

But he was trying to be more confident in himself, hence the pill popping without getting permission. Dean never asked John when he had a headache, so he wouldn't either, he could handle it on his own.

He felt a hard knock on the door and knew he had to hurry up or John and Dean were going to kick the door in, it wasn't like he could fluently yell, 'I'm fine!' through the door.

He closed the lid as gentle as he could then tucked it tight back where he found it. He took a look in the mirror, flushed the toilet then turned the lock and opened the door.

"Sammy ---kay----"

Sam squinted, as good as he was at it now, it was hard reading lips in the dark.

He felt footsteps then covered his eyes when someone turned on a light, he had been dealing with the small glares from the bathroom window, now he was blind.

Once he had adjusted he let his arm fall and looked up cursing when he saw two very worried faces.

"Sammy what were you doing?"

"_**Needed to take a leak."**_

"For 10 minutes?"

"_**What were **__**you **__**timing me or something?"**_ Sam joked before he got back in bed.

"Yes," Dean nodded, not embarrassed about it at all.

"_**I'm fine, can we turn out the light? I'm tired,"**_ Sam used his puppy eyes and smiled when John groaned but turned off the light, making note to ask Sam about what he was doing in there in the morning.

_**TBC...**_


	16. Breaking at the cracks

**Hey guys!!!**

**Changed my name!!! Used to be FLD!!! But I got bored!!! **

**Still me though!!!**

**FLD!!!!!! :D**

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**Breaking at the cracks**

"Yo! Sammy, time to rock and roll!" Dean yelled coming back in the motel he and John left Sam sleeping in, but when he looked over at the bed they shared, it was empty. "Sammy, Come on we're ready and packed, let's go!" he yelled once again banging hard on the bathroom door as he heard shuffling from inside.

When there was no answer or much of anything from inside the small room, he sighed then mumbled a silent apology to the motel owner. He kicked hard on the bottom of the door, applying the right amount of pressure and force in the right spot making the door crash open revealing a not so hot looking Sam.

"_**Why did you do that?"**_ Sam whined from his place by the toilet.

Dean shook his head at the sight then sat down next to the kid on the floor.

"You know I get all tense and panicky when you don't answer the door after 10 minutes. Not my fault you didn't answer after the millionth time. "

"_**You knocked twice, and you lasted about 34 seconds before you kicked the door in, world record for you I have to say." **_

"Yeesh somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, didn't mean to awaken the inner cranky bitch in you."

"_**Shut up."**_

"Good comeback." After a long few seconds, Dean looked down at his brother and got serious. "So, you okay?"

Sam of course nodded, which meant the kid was anything but okay.

"What's up?" Dean asked kindly, his jerk big brother chip left behind and his sincere worried big brother personality taking over.

Sam shrugged, he knew Dean knew full well what was wrong, it just seemed his big brother wanted Sam to admit it for himself.

"Come on, is this about you trying to be grown up? That why you're not talking to me?"

Sam couldn't, and didn't need to nod, Dean knew it was all too true, _'why can he see right through me and I can't see through him at all? Is it he's a better actor? Or do I not pay enough attention? Am I not as good a brother as he is?'_

"Hey, Sam come on, no matter how old either of us are, even when we're old and grey like Bobby, you can always talk to me about anything, especially when you don't feel so good."

Sam nodded, but still felt like crap...for more than the obvious reason.

Dean knew Sam wasn't in the talking mood, or admitting what was wrong mood, so he decided to ask some questions to find out so he could put it all together and come to a conclusion himself.

"Come on, what's up? You got an upset stomach?"

Sam nodded, wrapping an unconscious hand around his queasy guts.

"Headache?"

Sam nodded, like hell he nodded, the headache was one big headache and he showed it.

"You feel like this is a stomach bug thing or a flu thing?"

Sam paused, he didn't want to tell Dean what it was, Dean would be _MAD_ when he found out how long Sam had been keeping it a secret how crap he felt.

"Sammy, hey, talk to me, I'm worried about you," Dean admitted as he cupped Sam's flushed cheek.

Sam sighed, he hated when Dean gave him _THAT_ look, he could never lie to his big brother when he talked like that.

"_**I think there's something wrong with my ears. They kind of ache."**_

Sam shrunk away and waited for the yelling to start.

"Damn it Sam! Why the hell didn't you say anything sooner?! You know how serious things like that are with you! One little blip and you could totally screw your whole eardrums up! Is that what you want?! Or do you just enjoy making me wait in freakin hospital rooms with doctors telling me you're seriously ill?!!"

"_**I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to make you worry I just thought it would get better. I'm sorry, I know I was stupid."**_

"Sorry's not gonna cut it Sam, not this time, that's it, we're taking you to the hospital." Sam flashed him the puppy eyes which only spurred on, his anger. "Don't look at me like that, you're not getting any sympathy from me, get dressed," Dean snapped then slammed the door after tossing Sam his bag.

_**~S/D~**_

"Dean, I'll park, you get Sam inside okay?"

They had come to the agreement, after a good half hour, with Sam's pleadings of no ER, John's reasoning, and Dean pure panic that had manifested itself as anger, that they would call the hospital and ask for the doc that discharged Sam when Dr. Rowland was off. He kindly answered their plea and told John very calmly it might not be anything serious at all, they should get him looked over at the local hearing clinic in town and go from there, he also said he would speak to the doctor they ended up seeing and tell him or her all about Sam's history.

"Sam," Dean said, more like ordered, his tone still rather cold. He could barely make eye contact with the kid and it was killing John to watch the pain in both his sons' eyes.

"Be good till I get there," John said trying to lighten the mood, but it wasn't rubbing off as he watched Dean march Sam inside the building. "Uh, kids."

_**~S/D~**_

"Samuel Winchester?"

"You used his real name?"

"Well I had to, his medical history is under Winchester," John scolded, why was Dean being like this? He was acting like a jerk.

"Sam you're up," Dean said, not even looking at the kid so he could read his lips, he just pulled on Sam's arm so he was standing involuntarily.

In his sulk Dean accidentally pushed Sam a little too hard towards the nurse that called his name, causing the boy to trip over his growing feet and go face first towards the ground.

"Whoa, hey you okay?" Dean asked, pulling him back up before his chin connected with the rough flooring.

When he was back up Sam flinched away, and pulled his arm from Dean's grasp with a hurt look on his face.

"Hey come on Sam I didn't mean to-"

Sam wiped the tear that he'd let out then stormed away towards the woman waiting for him.

John gave Dean a look, a look of 'well done smart ass,' then stormed off following the hunched shoulders that were Sam's.

"Damn it," Dean hissed to himself then followed the pair, he hoped he wasn't going to get kicked out of the doctor's office.

_**~S/D~**_

"Okay, I think that's everything Dr Perotta asked for, now can I take a look at your ears Sam?"

Sam nodded, he gulped a little but stood from his chair and walked to the examining table.

"Dean, you wanna..." John mumbled nodding his eldest over towards Sam, the kid needed support and those two needed to patch things up already.

Dean sighed but went to Sam anyway, he felt the stab of guilt once again when Sam shuffled away, almost closer to the doctor.

"Okay, well that is one nasty ear infection you have there Sam," the doctor winced when he took his probe out of Sam's ear canal. "Must be causing you some pain huh son," he mumbled looking in the other ear which was even more clogged up, '_no wonder the kid looked so sick and cranked his jaw every second.'_

"What's that mean for Sam then? Will he be okay?" Dean practically begged.

"He'll be fine, I'll start him on some strong antibiotics and that should clear it up within a week at most. Ibuprofen should help with the pain and most patients with ear infections such as Sam's tend to respond well to some warm oil on cotton balls in the ear."

"Sounds good doc."

"Do you know what caused it or is this just one of those things?"

"Well normally yes, but in Sam's case my best guess is when the drowning...happened?"

"Yeah..." Dean gulped.

"Well sometimes when ears are exposed to water, some of that water can enter the ear and if it's not caught and drained then it can cause ear infections. It's pretty common amongst the hearing impaired population."

"So this happened cos of Sam's hearing problems?"

"Yes and no," when he got a strange look from all of them he went on, "not everyone with lung cancer smokes now do they?" the doctor said, concluding his explanation.

"Suppose that's fair," Dean said.

"I'll just go fill these out then I'll hand them to the front desk where you can collect his meds."

"Thanks doc."

"Yeah, thank you," Dean shook the man's hand then watched as he left with a prescription sheet.

"So, everything's okay, you kids can stop crowing at each other now, you both made a few screw ups but let's get past it okay? We got a road to get back to, and another hunt."

"Unbelievable."

"Excuse me?" John demanded.

"You, I said you were unbelievable! Sam's sick, he needs time to sleep and get better but oh no, the first thing that springs to your mind is 'the hunt.' You haven't changed one bit."

"Dean...I didn't mean it like that okay? I just thought you kids getting back to normal getting on another hunt would help things between you boys!"

"What the hell are you talking about?! We're fine!"

"Dean, the kid made one mistake, and you pushed him around today, bullied him and made him feel like a total loner as if he's done something terrible!!"

"I wasn't bullying him! I'm not a bully! I was just..."

"Being a jerk!"

Both of them felt a swat round the head and immediately looked at Sam, the one person this was all about, yet the one person who had once again been pushed from the family while they argued.

"_**Stop it! Would you please just stop! I can take care of myself. Stop arguing about me without even talking to me first! I'm sick of being ignored all the time!"**_

"Sam..." Dean started but the hand in his face stopped him.

Sam lowered his arm then looked up, his face more mature, understanding and serious than anyone had ever seen it.

"_**Yes."**_

"Wha...yes what?"

"_**Yes, my answer is yes."**_

"Sammy I don't understand."

"_**You asked me if I wanted the operation, my answer is yes."**_

"Whoa, slow down there kiddo, I think we should talk about this, it's a big deal Sam, not something you just decide and flip a switch. I think we should take time to talk about this."

"_**I don't need time, I'm saying yes."**_

"Yes to what?" the doctor asked walking in the room catching the last thing Sam signed.

"Nothing," Dean waved the man off then turned back to Sam who looked really pissed off right now.

Reading all the signings of classic family overprotection the doctor stepped in. "I'm fluent in ALS, and I'm pretty sure Sam is too, he can speak for himself, more to the point, he wants to speak for himself."

"How would you know that?"

"He's my patient Dean, and I can see he wants to voice himself so please let him. Now Sam, care to repeat what you're saying yes to?"

"_**I want the operation to fix my ears," **_Sam told the doctor flat out, shocking John and Dean, and not only because of what he said, but who he was saying it to.

"Sammy..."

Dr Davidson saw how torn all members of the small family were so he stepped in with his own professional opinion. "Why don't I give you guys some time to talk about this as a family, then when you're ready you can call me with your decision?"

Dean and John were clearly relieved which only spurred Sam's anger on more, why didn't they just listen to him? Maybe when he could talk, then he could make them _listen_!

The kid way about to push his own judgement in again when John butted in _again_!

"Thanks doc, you see Sammy, we should talk about this kiddo, let's go home and then we'll all have our say."

"_**But its not up to you, it's about my ears and I'm saying yes. Yes yes yes yes yes!"**_

John was getting sick of both his sons talking back to him, so he carefully pulled Sam to his feet and silently ordered both his boys to the door.

"_**Sam, we're going home and we're going to talk about it together, now put your coat on, we're going."**_

"_**No! I don't need time to talk about it! I've already had time, and I've finally made my decision, I want the operation!"**_

"Sam. Coat. On. Now," John warned handing Sam his coat and leaving the small office before the kid could protest any further.

The look of pain and frustration in Sam's face as he took the coat washed away all of Dean's anger, he stepped in and placed a comforting hand on the kid's shoulders as they walked out the door.

"Sammy what the hell is up with you? You're the king of talking."

"_**You wouldn't understand."**_

"Come on, try me."

"_**I don't understand why he says we need to talk about it, it's my life, my ears, so why the 'we'?" **_

"Sammy, we're just...let's just go home, and you can explain to us why the sudden change of heart, and if it's a reasonable explanation then we both know, you'll be getting your way. Come on, things like this need to be talked about kiddo, I don't get why you're putting this off."

Sam grunted in frustration, hit Dean's hand, that was still on his shoulder, off then carried on walking.

'_Why won't anybody listen to me?!' _

_**TBC...**_


	17. Leave where the wind blows

**Sorry sorry sorry sorry!! I wrote this chapter ages ago!! Didn't know I didn't post it!! Wups!!! *hangs head in shame***

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**Leave where the wind blows**

It had been a long 30 minute drive back to the motel, Sam had yet to sign a word and both the older Winchesters were getting worried. Dean was sitting in the back with the kid, ruffled his hair, made jokes, even tried the pleading I'm sorry for being a dick move, and still, Sam was in a foul mood.

John had thankfully calmed down from his outburst back in the doctor's office, and Dean had also worked out that he was being a jerk and this wasn't about them, this was about Sam.

They went inside the motel room, John and Dean both not daring to even touch the kid yet, didn't take a genius to know, he was _mad!_

Sam sat himself down on the furthest bed and laid down, turning away from both of them, hiding his head in the pillow.

Dean walked round and eventually pried Sam's face out.

"Hey, listen to me, I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry for being a jerk and I'm sorry for shutting you out, I know you hate making a fuss and telling me you're sick or hurting, I'm pretty sure you get it from me."

Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Come on, I'm sorry, Sam...please, forgive me?"

Sam shrugged, then huffed, it was Sam's way of saying I suppose so.

"Sorry too Sam, but you gotta understand that this is a big decision, and it shouldn't be made out of anger, this should be something you choose because you've looked at all the facts."

"_**Fine, I won't have it then, happy now?"**_ Sam asked with an attitude.

"Sam that's not fair, and you know that's not what we mean. Just talk to us okay? That's all we're asking, we're not trying to change your mind or turn you away from your decision, we just want you to tell us what you're thinking okay sport?"

Sam swallowed his guilt and nodded, he felt so bad now, he was being a brat and he knew it.

"So, can you talk to us little brother?" Dean said, kind calm and smiling lightly at the kid sitting in front of him.

"_**I'm just sick of being left out all the time, maybe if I can hear and talk like you two then I won't be such a third wheel." **_

"Sam, that doesn't count, I said no anger or frustration, we need facts from you kiddo, not feelings."

"_**I don't know what you're saying!"**_

"Sam, logically, why do you think this operation will be a good choice?"

"_**Because I'm sick of-"**_

"No, try again," John pushed again.

"Let him finish, he said he's sick of being ignored so let him talk," Dean said to his dad, the anger in his words well hidden from Sam. "Carry on kiddo."

"_**I'm sick of having all these problems with my ears, maybe if they get fixed; even a little then I won't have to be so careful all the time. I won't fall down...I won't get dizzy, I won't have stupid headaches all the time...it used to be okay...but now I'm just sick and tired of waiting for the next thing to go wrong, the next time I fall down, it's just getting old. I want it to stop."**_

"Now that's more like it," John smiled; happy the kid was finally talking about his health as opposed to his personal reasons for wanting the surgery.

"Anything else?" Dean asked, running a hand through the kid's hair.

"_**This is not me..."**_

"What's not you?"

"_**Being deaf, I've always felt something's off with it...and now I can remember my..."**_

Sam stopped himself and let out a sob.

"Hey, hey, calm down, it's okay...it's okay, just talk to me Sammy," Dean cooed pulling the kid up into half a hug.

"_**Knowing about what I used to be like...who I was then, before the accident, when I was just a normal kid...now I feel like something's missing from a part of me, and I want it back...or at least I want to try to get it back."**_

John knew that was his personal self talking again, but with a reason as strong as that, he really didn't care, it was in the pot of reasons and he was glad it was, he was glad Sam had spoken out loud about it.

"_**And maybe...maybe then I can finally forget about the thing that killed my parents and...it will be like a new start...he won't have won anymore cos I took back what he stole from me." **_

"Like giving him the finger?" Dean smirked warmly as Sam nodded.

There was a long pause, nobody said or did anything, wind coming in under the door could even be felt by Sam. At first he thought John and Dean were going to tell him to stop being such a freak, and that wasn't a reason either cos it sounded so stupid, but then John's face lit up in a peaceful smile.

"Good boy Sammy," he praised cupping the boy's tear stained cheek.

Sam made the 'huh' face not understanding.

"Just...we're proud of you kiddo, thanks for telling us...took some time but...thanks, you did good champ."

Everyone knew he wasn't just talking about the operation, they were all glad Sam had managed to come to terms with the demon, he was dead sure but that didn't mean he didn't leave scars.

"Yeah, real good Sammy."

"So, this is a sure thing? Operation fixing ears is a go?" John asked holding up his phone.

Sam didn't even hesitate when he nodded; he nodded like hell then buried his head happily in his big brother's chest.

"You okay about this?" John asked his eldest before he dialled.

"If Sammy is, then I'm all for it."

John nodded, he gave Dean a quick nod then put the cell to his ear.

Sam watched the man mouth 'Sam's ready to go for it doc.' He watched the 'yes' 'no' 'okay' and a few other words biting his nails hoping now he'd made up his mind the doctors weren't going to turn round and tell him he'd blown his chances.

"Yeah, thank you, that's great, bye."

"And?" Dean asked first, just as nervous and Sam, if not more so.

"The doctor said Sam's infection has to be clear for a few weeks, then he'll call us in for a consultation with a surgeon, then it's a case of fitting Sam in the first available theatre ."

"Wow...that's fast...so how soon, like next month?"

"Pretty much, you happy kiddo?" John asked, smiling at Sam.

"_**Yes, thank you!"**_ Sam jumped from Dean's arms into John's awaiting ones and gave his old man a good guy hug.

"So, you need to take care of yourself now, any slight cold and you tell us, you can't have an operation if you're sick."

"_**Yes sir,"**_ Sam said then he jumped for his bag of meds and went to read the label, the sooner he got on with them the sooner he could get rid of this damn ear ache and have that operation.

"Dean, can I talk to you outside son?" John asked when he saw Sam preoccupying himself.

Dean nodded leaving the room after saying a quick see you in a minute to Sam.

"What's up?" he asked sitting on the bench outside their room.

"We need to talk."

"Is this about the argument? What I said about the hunt? I'm sorry I was just pissed and I-"

"It's not that Dean, I know what I said came out wrong. Anyway, moving on, this operation...apparently Sam will need a speech therapist."

"Great..." Dean grunted knowing how Sam felt about strangers, and plus Sam hated talking at the best of times around them, he would be embarrassed as hell learning how to talk with some strange prissy doc.

"So, you think if we get a few books from the hospital, we could teach him?"

"Sounds like a plan. That everything?"

"Well no...I was thinking of renting a small flat or something, just while we're in town for a month or so, Sam's gonna need checkups, time to adjust, sound like a good idea?"

"Yeah, awesome...but please pick somewhere that doesn't need to be stripped wall to wall like the last temporary home."

"Gotcha," John nodded, taking his son's request into account.

"So...what about the cost of this op?"

"Well, our insurance will be so perfectly faked, by the time they figure it out, we'll be on the other side of the country."

"Sounds about right," Dean chuckled.

"Oh, hang on..." John mumbled when he felt his cell go off. "Y'ello?" he joked down the line.

"John...It's Pastor Jim...I need your help."

_**~S/D~**_

"I'll be back in a week at most, don't worry about the health insurance, I'll have it sorted out to perfection when I come back. Don't leave the motel for anything apart from the usual. Sam take your meds."

"_**Yes sir,"**_ Sam nodded.

"We know it all dad, just go, we'll be fine."

"Okay, if I'm not back in 7 days at most-"

"Call Bobby, we got it."

"Salt the-"

"Doors and windows, and look out for Sammy, I got it dad. Go."

"I'm going, I'm going...behave boys, and be careful."

"You too," Dean said, closing his dad's trunk for him.

They waved him off then went back inside the motel room.

"Okay Sammy, take your pills."

"_**Why? It's not even-"**_

"You're having an early night, now get."

"_**I have an ear infect**__**ion**__**, I'm not dying, I don't need bed rest."**_

"Well puking your guts out this morning says otherwise."

"_**But I don't even feel sick anymore,"**_ he whined.

"Tough, let's keep it that way, bed, now."

"_**I told you I'm-"**_

"Yeah and I said tough!"

'_Here we go again, them listening to me lasted all of about an hour...great.'_

"_**Stop bossing me about! I'm sick and tired of it! I wish you would listen to me for once!"**_

"Yeah well, I wish you would stop whining like a baby but we don't always get what we want."

Sam sat down and turned the TV on, not even sparing one glance at the pills and glass of water for him.

"_**Sam, I said take them and go to sleep, now," **_he ordered this time with his hands.

"_**No, you're not listening to me so I'm not listening to you."**_

"Real mature," he mumbled giving up on the signing.

"_**Yeah, I get it from my jerk big brother, what's your excuse."**_

"Sam I won't say it again, pills and bed."

"_**Sorry, I can't hear you over all the deafness." **_

"Sam," he warned, slamming the glass and pills down in front of the kid.

Sam continued to act like they weren't even there which pissed Dean off to no end.

"Don't make me force these in you."

He instantly regretted it when Sam's eyes filled with tears.

The kid picked up the pills and swallowed them dry, then turned his tear streaked face away from Dean and curled up sniffling into the pillow.

"Sorry Sammy," Dean whispered turning off the TV and light then going to the other bed his dad usually occupied, Sam wasn't going to take kindly to comfort now. He could apologize for his heartless words in the morning.

_**~S/D~**_

"Eee!!! EEEAAA!!!" Dean heard someone scream in fear so he forced his eyes open and looked around for the person needing help, it broke his heart when he saw it was Sam. Light from the street lights shun in, making the boy's face clear in the darkness.

"Aw Sammy," Dean cursed, the kid wasn't just upset, he was downright distraught. "Hey, what I said about forcing those pills in you I was...I didn't mean it, I would never do that to you kiddo."

Sam shook his head, little whimpers escaping his lips every time he breathed out, he was sweating buckets and shaking like a jar of change.

"Hey, hey what's up? Nightmare?"

It all became clear when thunder rattled loud and a sharp strike lighting followed after making Sam yelp and jump into the protective arms of Dean.

"Hey, I gotcha, I gotcha," Dean rubbed his brother's damp back trying to calm him.

By this point Sam was holding on so tight his nails were digging into Dean's skin, and he was burying so far Dean had practically swallowed the kid.

"Ssshh, it's just a little thunder, nothing's gonna happen to you while I'm here okay, ssshhh..." Dean rocked the boy, whispered comforting murmurs in his ear, stroked his hair, but nothing was working, Sam was just petrified.

Dean reached over with great difficulty and turned the bedside lamp on, only to find the electricity was out.

"Damn," he cursed then, still holding Sam, reached for his flashlight in the bag by his bed.

He flicked it on and praised the lord it still worked.

He set it down on his bed and pulled away from the shaking, sobbing mess in his arms. No way he was getting Sam back to sleep now, he needed to come up with something to make the kid feel out of harm's way.

"Sam, look at me, we're gonna go some place safe okay?"

Sam nodded, but screamed yet again when the wind howled and thrashed the front door open.

"Sssshh, ssshhh, I know, I know, I'm here," Dean cooed then immediately jumped up and closed the door using his whole body. "Pass me that chair," he told Sam as he held it shut.

Sam ran for the chair and almost tossed it at Dean in his panic. After Dean fitted it under the door handle, wiggled it a little and was sure the door wasn't going to budge, he went to his things and started packing. He then noticed Sam was still frozen in the centre of the room.

"Sammy? Hey, Sam," he waved his hand in front of the frozen stiff eyes and thankfully Sam snapped out of it and looked at his big brother, hope and pleading screaming from his expression. Dean put his hands on the kid's shoulders for comfort."Ssshh, it's okay, now get your dog and hide under the table, I'll be right there. I promise."

'_This better work, this better work...'_

When Sam didn't move from the middle of the room Dean gave him a one quick look telling him to do it now. "Trust me Sammy."

Sam helplessly let out another wail, grabbed Brownie then dived under the table. His knees rattled together. He was still sobbing, but it was the best Dean could do while he was busy. He shoved salt, clothes, Sam's meds, bottles of water, candy bars, bags of chips, deck of cards and other necessities into his duffle before he scooped up the covers, flashlight, and his bag up in his arms, ran into the bathroom and dumped them on the floor.

He could hear Sam's cries getting louder and knew it was because he was out of the poor kid's sight. So he worked fast and set the covers inside the tub for comfort, mostly for Sam's but whatever. He then set his bag down at the opposite end he put the pillows then ran back to the main room.

He went under the table, wrapped his hands around the skinny waist and gently pulled the boy out, minding both their heads at the same time. "Told you I'd be back," he smiled, brushing the kid's damp hair from his face to get a better look at the kid. If it was possible, Sam looked even worse, his color was a sickly gray and his eyes were a painful raw red, Dean knew that wasn't because the kid was a little sick.

Another loud rumble of thunder followed by a sharp blue flash caught him off guard and he cursed when he himself jumped as he hugged his little brother tight. He shook it off and hoped Sam didn't think he was scared too, because he wasn't, he was just surprised, yeah that's it, surprised. "Come on, its okay, I gotcha," Dean promised once again, pulling Sam to his feet. The boy was so scared with every howl and bump he was barley using his own legs and Dean was carrying most of his weight to the bathroom.

He pulled Sam's legs up and over the side of the bath then sat him in the padded tub, got in behind the petrified boy and pulled him close to his chest.

"See, nothing to worry about, we'll just sit here till the storm passes."

"_**I'm scared,"**_ Sam cried clinging onto his big brother for dear life.

"I know, but as long as I'm around, you don't have to be scared, I'll always protect you Sammy. No matter what, I will always be here keeping you safe."

Sam nodded then hid his face in his stuffed dog as he cried some more of the fear out, or at least he hoped he was.

"I gotcha little brother, you're safe, I gotcha, ssshhh...."

'_I really hope he doesn't figure out this only works for dogs...'_

"Sssshh...it's okay, we're safe here....ssshhhh...."

_**TBC...**_


	18. Eye of the Storm

**Side kick-Bia1007**

**Beta- Eggylaine**

**Eye of the Storm**

It was almost a day and half later, the rain was still pouring and every so often there was a flash or rumble from the leftover storm clouds and Dean was still failing to get Sam to leave the bathroom. It took a good 3 hours of nagging just get him to leave the bath tub to go for a pee.

Dean snuck out whenever Sam would drop off to sleep, mostly for food from the mini fridge, nuts and candy bars weren't exactly a meal but they would have to do for now. He also left the bath tub to stretch his legs because cramped up next to Sam in that small of a space wasn't very comfortable for someone of his height.

"Damn it," he cursed when he noticed they had ran out of food, the only things left were ice and something he didn't even want know what it used to be. He grabbed the last bag of potato chips then tip toed back into the bathroom. "Hey Sammy, rise and shine," he whispered shaking the boys shoulder.

Sam stirred and looked a little scared when Dean wasn't next to him, then he saw he was in front of him and didn't look too impressed.

"Come on, get washed up then we can see if the rain stopped or not."

Sam nodded, was helped out of the padded tub then walked stiffly to the sink where he brushed his teeth and wiped his face with a cloth. Dean turned his back when he went for a pee then he shook his legs out before getting back in the tub sitting in an Indian style so Dean could fit in at the other end.

"Black Jack?" Dean asked shuffling the cards knowing the routine all too well. Just before Sam nodded Dean huffed and dropped the cards in his lap. "Sam I'm sorry for acting like an ass these last few days."

Sam just stared at Dean, not knowing what to say, he didn't want to say the usual 'it's okay, no you weren't, it was my fault, don't worry about it,' because truthfully, Dean really hurt him when he ignored him, then yelled at him, then threatened him, it hurt and as selfish as it sounded, he wanted Dean to know that.

"Sam, I'm just scared okay. I'm scared and I'm trying to look after you, I'm trying to keep my game face on for you. I'm trying to keep it together but it's hard man. I screwed up and I hurt you...I made you feel alone by ignoring you then I made you scared of me when I was just trying to get you to look after yourself. I know I went about it wrong and I'm sorry."

"_**I'm scared too you know...I don't care that you are, we can just be scared and freak together, you don't have to be Dean the hard ass big brother all the time, you can just be Dean."**_

"No Sam I can't."

"_**Why not?"**_

"Because if you're scared then I need to be strong for you. I can hardly ramble off about how I know it's gonna work out and we'll be fine if I don't know that. So just let me be the big brother hard ass and you can be my little brother."

"_**But that's what got us here in the first place, you tried to be hard ass which meant you never listened to me. I'm deaf but I'm not invisible, I thought it was cos I was deaf that I feel left out but now I know it's cos I'm the little brother and all you do is treat me like a sack less little kid. Can't we just be even in this brother thing?"**_

"Maybe...someday, but until you match me in height which will be never, I'm still the big brother."

"_**Dean I'm serious!"**_ Sam whined with his bottom lip sticking out.

"Okay then...we'll try it, temporarily but if I say it's not working then you go back to being the little brother, whether you like it or not."

Sam nodded, happy he won the argument, he picked up the cards and started dealing, also happy the fog of tension had lifted now, all that was left was the storm to pass completely then things would be perfect.

_**~S/D~**_

"Sam? Dean? Boys?!...BOYS FRONT AND CENTRE!!!" Dean heard John yell franticly, he was so loud Sam felt it. Dean breathed a sigh of relief their father was back and he was okay...hopefully.

"In here dad...we're fine!" he added to the end as the door was opened.

"Damn you kids are gonna give me grey hairs!" John yelled when he saw them both sat in the bathtub, no missing limbs, no bleeding cuts and no bruises as far as he could see.

"How did the hunt go?" Dean asked when John sat himself down on the closed toilet lid.

"Fine, simple salt and burn if there ever was one."

"So everything went okay?"

"Yeah, apart from the storm getting back here, damn you should see the other side of town, flood warnings everywhere, power lines are down and nothing is open or running."

"You're kidding me right? Not even the diner?"

"Especially the diner, it's not pretty when you get out there."

"Damn...we need to get out of this town then and into a storm free zone. We're running out of food fast, we've been using the mini fridge junk food but there's not a whole lot left that's eatable."

"We'll figure something out Dean. Which reminds me, why are you two in the bathtub? You know that only works for dogs right?"

Thankfully Sam didn't catch that as he was too busy cheating at cards and looking at what Dean had got.

"Dad sh!" Dean hissed before drawing his deck back and giving Sam a look. "Dude I demand a re-deal, you totally just cheated."

"_**I did not!"**_

"Yes you did."

"_**How do you know? You were looking over there and I know I didn't make a sound, guess there's upsides of being silent,"**_ Sam grinned.

"Cheater, fine...you have any queens?"

"_**No? Eights?"**_ Sam asked smirking when Dean handed 3 over.

John shook his head at their antics then went back out into the main room to pack, Dean didn't know how right he was, they needed to get out of dodge, another storm was on its way and it was forecast worse than the one that had just passed.

_**~S/D~**_

"Ready to go boys?"

Sam nodded, putting his bag in the front of the impala; he gave John a quick 'thank you for being okay' hug then sat himself in Dean's car waiting for his big brother to come.

"Dean I want to get as far away from this town as possible, follow me, if we get separated and anyone stops you, tell them if they have any problems call and take them up with me, Officer Hanson."

"Dad what's going on?"

"Dean, not now."

"Dad tell me, what's going on? Why do we need to leave so bad? I thought we were sticking around for Sam?"

"Dean, we'll go back to Bobby's and he can have the operation there, the doctors know him and he'll be comfortable at Bobby's. Let's just get going okay?"

John went round to his door and opened it but was stopped when Dean put a hand on his arm.

"No dad what aren't you telling me?"

"There's a huge thunderstorm...it's gonna tear the town apart and I'm not letting anything happen to you two, we're leaving and that's final."

John pulled himself up to his seat and closed the door with a panicked Dean staring through his window.

"_**It's gonna be fine kiddo,"**_ he signed at his eldest before nodding him to get going himself, the storm was just hours away so they needed to move _fast_.

_**~S/D~**_

It was half an hour later when John reached the block in the road, he hoped it would be the same guys that were there when he came for his boys but when he saw different faces he guessed the other guys' shifts had ended.

He rolled down his window, got his badge out that came in handy an hour ago and waited for the new guy to come forward.

"I'm sorry sir but you are not permitted to be on the road at this time. Please return to your home and stay there until the storm passes."

John handed his badge over, "I'm Officer Hanson and my kids are in the Impala behind, we were on vacation here when we heard about the storm. We're just trying to get home man, can't you just let us past? We don't have anywhere safe to stay here."

The traffic warden sighed.

"Okay, just this once Officer, I hope you get home safe," the man waved his arm at his fellow traffickers who moved the barriers and let the black truck and Impala through.

John waved a thank you before Dean did.

"Damn it," John cursed when he saw the black cloud coming in from their right, it was angry and fast, they needed to move!

His phone vibrated in his pocket so he pulled it out and flipped it open pressing loudspeaker.

"_Dad_..." were Dean's only words, his boy was scared he could tell.

"Everything's gonna be fine Dean, just follow my lead and we'll be at Bobby's before you know it."

The call cut out and John chose that time to speed up signalling Dean to do the same. They were way over the speed limit but right now no one was around to stop them.

"Holy crap..." Dean gasped when he saw what his dad was talking about earlier, this side of town was a mess, and here he was thinking it was just a little rain.

Sam wasn't looking too happy right now as they zoomed through out of the mess the wind had caused and he felt his stomach drop every time the car swayed a little from the gales.

"It's gonna be okay Sammy, we'll be outa here in no time...just you see."

_**~S/D~**_

"_Bobby, the storms---pretty bad now, I don't how much longer we ---keep driving in this, I can't see a --- even with my wipers --- full. Dean's not --- any better...if anything happens -- I --- you to come and get --- boys. I don't care what it takes --- make sure they're safe --- this journey turns south."_

"Damn those idjit's..." Bobby cursed when he got John's message. He looked for the time sent and got just over 2 hours ago, he hoped they were out of the worst by now.

Hoping if he got everything prepared then they would all turn up safe and well in an hour or so. He turned his fire on if they came and were cold, he gathered up blankets and pillows and set his first aid box down next to the sofa. If you expect the worst then reality might look a little better.

_**~S/D~**_

"Oh crap..." Dean gasped when he turned his wipers back up and saw his father's truck was nowhere in sight.

Sam was panicking big time by now and the look on Dean's face wasn't settling his fears at all. They pulled at the side of the road, Dean turned to Sam and made sure the kid could tell what he was saying.

"The storm's miles behind us, we're good now. We just need to wait till we get a signal, we can call dad and everything will be fine," Dean told his brother handing over the 3 cell phones he owned, hopefully one of them would work soon. "Right, at this moment in time we got no way of contacting anyone so I think we better stock up on supplies, you haven't eaten since breakfast."

"_**Neither have you,"**_ Sam said nudging Dean.

"Right," the older brother agreed, "I think I saw a sign for a grocery store not long ago, they should be open in this almost storm free town."

Sam nodded, trusting Dean and following his big brother's plan, _'guess this is why I'm the little brother then.'_

"We'll stock up on food then we'll try to call Bobby to see if dad's okay, he was in front so I think he should be there by now. Who knows they might even have a phone at the store that works better then these stupid cell lines."

Sam nodded, leaned closer to Dean hoping it would settle his nerves some and when Dean wrapped his arm round his shoulders his prayers were answered.

"Let's get moving," Dean mumbled before he pulled back onto the road. _'Please call soon dad...please...'_

_**~S/D~**_

"_We are sorry, the person you are calling is not currently available, please try again later."_

"Later ain't good enough!!" John yelled into the mike, knowing nobody was going to answer.

He couldn't believe he had lost the boys, he was watching them so close, he made sure they were no more than an inch behind him, how did he lose them?!!

Going back over in his mind he tried to figure out at which turn he had lost them, did they turn right and he turned left? Were they in front of him and at Bobby's or where they stranded behind in the storm? Were they hurt, stranded and alone because he wasn't looking after them properly?

He pressed number 3 on his speed dial and crossed his toes.

"_John?"_

"Bobby, please tell me the boys with you?"

"_No, I tried your cell, I tried Dean's, I tried Dean's spares and I got nothing. John where are you? Are you hurt?"_ he asked thinking back to the message he was left.

"No, no I'm fine, I'm 20 minutes away from your yard but damn it! I lost them! I don't know how but one minute they were behind me and the next they were just gone. I'm driving back the way I came but I can't see anything or anyone."

"_John just calm down, even if something did happen Dean's a smart kid, he knows what to do in an emergency."_

"What if something happened? If they got stuck in the storm and crashed or worse he's hardly gonna be fit to renew his Scout's badges!"

"_John you're panicking, that isn't gonna help the boys so pull yourself together damn it! Now listen! You need to come back here, we'll get some maps together and we can go look for them together, no use you getting lost too, for all we know the boys are closer than you are."_

"Yeah cos Winchester's luck is suddenly gonna change now?"

"_Just get back here you idjit, and in one piece!"_

John growled low in his throat and slammed his cell shut. He turned his car round and prayed to god he wasn't making a huge mistake.

_**~S/D~**_

"Bingo," Dean said when he saw the huge food store car park. He pulled into the closest available spot, there were quite a few to choose from seeing at there were about 4 cars in total in the whole parking lot. "Anything on the cells?"

Sam shook his head looking at them all, one had even died from low battery so they were stranded even more right now.

"Grab em and let's go."

Sam fidgeted, nervous about leaving the car, he had a BAD feeling about how desertedit was here, maybe staying on the road would be better.

"Sammy let's go, I'm starving."

'_Well...Dean is an expert at this stuff...he knows what to do more than I do...he knows best...'_ Sam chanted to himself as he shuffled out of Dean's side and walked with his big brother towards the entrance, it was almost laughable when Dean grabbed a huge cart and looked all soccer mom.

The automatic doors slide open and they stepped inside.

"Alright, I think it's safe to say we need to start buying food instead of relying on take out and diners."

Sam nodded, shuffled closer to Dean and hooked a finger through his belt loop and held on tight, something he hadn't done in months.

"Hey, Sammy what's wrong?" Dean asked forgetting about the cart as he cupped Sam's cheek in concern at the kid's actions, he knew Sam was feeling uneasy but he didn't think he was this scared. "Sammy everything's-"

"Look what we have here boys, a couple more hostages," a tall man dressed in all black with a ridiculous sock like thing over his face came into view. Both boys went stiff as they saw the huge gun he was holding in his fat hands.

Another two men came round from the aisle in front of them, they were also dressed head to toe in black and Dean knew this was an armed robbery, a badly planned robbery as they hadn't even had the sense to lock the doors but an armed robbery none the less.

Dean felt the sweat drip down under his shirt and he hoped to god Sam would run off back through the doors right now. When he felt the finger in his belt loop tighten, almost digging through his skin, his heart dropped.

The tallest man lifted his gun before Dean could yell for his baby brother to run, he knew he had no chance of getting him out now that thing was facing them, hovering between both boys before it stopped at Sam.

"And one of them is an adorable little puppy...police are always more lenient when a little kid is bleeding to death."

"NOOOO!! SSAAMMMYYY!!!"

_**TBC...**_


	19. Until we Bleed

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**Until we Bleed**

"Hey, Sammy what's wrong?" Dean asked, forgetting about the cart as he cupped Sam's cheek in concern at the kid's actions, he knew Sam was feeling uneasy but he didn't think he was this scared. "Sammy everything's-"

"Look what we have here boys, a couple more hostages," a short man dressed in all black with a ridiculous sock like thing over his face came into view. Both boys went stiff as they saw the huge gun he was holding in his fat hands.

Another two men came round from the aisle in front of them, one tall, one fat, they were also dressed head to toe in black and Dean knew this was an armed robbery, a badly planned robbery as they hadn't even had the sense to lock the doors but an armed robbery none the less.

Dean felt the sweat drip down under his shirt and he hoped to god Sam would run off back through the doors right now. When he felt the finger in his belt loop tighten, almost digging through his skin, his heart dropped.

Stretch lifted his gun before Dean could yell for his baby brother to run, he knew he had no chance of getting him out now that thing was facing them, hovering between both boys before it stopped at Sam.

"And one of them is an adorable little puppy...police are always more lenient when a little kid is bleeding to death."

"NOOOO!! SSAAMMMYYY!!!"

"AAAHHHH!!!" the young boy screamed as he was pushed to the ground hard by his brother. Everything was so blurry from that moment on he thought he was going blind, when something thick and red came into view, he wished he was.

"MMMGG! SON OF A..." Dean yelled gripping his arm, protecting it from any further pain. It hurt, it hurt so bad he thought there was someone carving a hot poker into his biceps then pouring hot lava in the hole just for good measure. But when his mind caught up with him, he knew he had to suck it up for his baby brother... "R-run...Sammy RUN!" he yelled but Sam didn't move, the kid was crying, trying to hold onto his big brother like the men in front were going to tear them apart, which _was_ exactly what they planned to do.

"Stand up!" Fatty yelled pointing the gun still in their direction as a warning not to do anything stupid.

When Dean didn't, or rather couldn't move, and Sam just simply refused, tightening his arms around Dean as he held him to his chest, Stretch walked their way, pulled them from each other with great force and dragged them along the floor, both kicking and screaming.

"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HIM!! YOU HURT HIM I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL END YOU!!" Dean screamed, thrashing and trying to break free despite his agonizing pain.

"Shut up! Sit down!" he yelled pushing Dean to the floor where he bumped into some people already being held hostage. Luckily he was able to catch Sam as he was thrown down and stopped his brother from being hurt. "I don't want a hear a peep outa you brats!" he yelled.

This was bad, this was worse than bad, Dean was sure he was bleeding way too much under his jacket and he knew these guys weren't the good thieves that planned things out. Ones that didn't do stupid things like shooting people out of nowhere, knowing it would only get them a longer jail sentence once they got caught.

No, these guys were reckless, idiots and Dean was sure he could smell alcohol in the air. They weren't the type to listen to reason, they weren't going to let Sam go now because they already had enough leverage with him. They were robbing a crappy little supermarket on the outside of a crappy little neighbourhood in a crappy abandoned town, real experts these guys were. There was probably barely $100 in the cash register in a shop like this, and it was crystal clear they hadn't even had enough nous to keep one guy watching the rest of the hostages; this was one of the worst robberies ever!

"Rest of you shut up too or you'll be getting a third hole as well, and not in the arm!!" Stretch yelled before leaving.

"I-it's gonna be fine Sammy...it's okay..." Dean forced as he tried to push himself to sit up and rest his back against the freezers behind him.

As he pulled himself together, forced the shaking and sweating to slow down Dean took a look around at the others. There was a chubby old guy, late 50's with grey hair wearing a managers badge, obviously he was the store owner. There was a similar aged woman sitting next to a pile of scattered glass from a shattered vinegar bottle and cracked eggs that were spilling out in a puddle of broken biscuits knocked from their packet, she was a customer then. There was a young-ish couple holding hands whilst crying and some tall black guy that looked in his 20's on the far end.

So, one thunder storm, one lost father, 5 traumatised hostages, 1 terrified little brother, and one bullet wound in the arm that hurt like a mother...this wasn't shaping up to be a good day.

Sam was helping him at this point, slowly pulling him up and checking his other limbs whilst trying to ignore the sting of tears that were pouring down his face.

Dean held his injured arm to his chest with his good hand and tightened his jaw to help with the pain. But that pain got just a little worse when someone prodded it.

"Ah damn it Sam!" he yelled even though he knew his little brother was trying to help him.

Sam ignored the cry of pain he knew Dean just let out as best he could, then shuffled round to see if anyone in black was close. Once he was sure there wasn't he turned back to face Dean, sitting directly in front trying to get a look at the wound. He pried his fingers through the hole in Dean's jacket then pulled it apart making it bigger.

"T-that was my second best j-jacket," Dean joked hoping to lighten the situation but Sam just carried on crying whilst he worked, the steady stream of silent tears causing more pain to Dean than any wound. "Hey," despite the overwhelming need to either throw up or pass out, Dean brought up his good hand and wiped away some of the tears as Sam looked up at him, "it's g-gonna be okay, I promise you, d-dad's gonna find us."

Sam nodded, wiped away some of Dean's sweat in return, believing his big brother because he had to, he wouldn't be able to function without that hope. He could break down completely, let Dean take over as usual, but he knew he had to keep it together at least a little bit so he could save his big brother before he bled to death.

"D-do you need some help?" someone beside them asked, the old owner, he was frightened and shaking but offering what he could to the boys which they were grateful for. Dean was having a hard time staying focused now and Sam's panic had upped another notch now he could see how dizzy Dean was.

"Y-yeah, thanks..." he took several deep breathes and tried to think of what to ask for...which would be so easy if not for the numbness in his shoulder making his head spin. "Y-you...ah....uh...g-got any first aid stuff in this store?" Dean asked cursing his uneven voice as the painful tremors rattled his arm.

"Um...yeah, just down there, aisle 4," the man pointed round the corner, as if Dean was supposed to just stroll over there himself to pick out what he needed.

"C-could you h-help us out then? Kinda b-busy here..." Dean snapped taking note as how breathless he was, but more worried and hoping that wasn't too sarcastic, but forgot about his tone when the guy shook his head afraid and went back to sitting in silence next to the others. "Thanks for nothing asshole," he breathed, his attempt at snapping harsh at the man out the window, before looking at his brother once again, he didn't like the look on the kid's face when he did.

"_**Be right back,"**_ Sam signed with blood coated hands he refused to acknowledge.

That woke him up! "Don't you dare," Dean grabbed the boy's wrist with his good hand and held on with all he could, which wasn't much by this point.

"_**But I have to."**_

"No, no you don't...it's too dangerous, just...sit down," Dean's face was cold but he didn't care, if scaring Sam into sitting still meant using that expression, so be it.

"_**You would do it for me and you know you would."**_

"That's...different."

"_**Why? We're equals now."**_

"I said...if I think it's not working we go back to normal...it's not going to work so...we are going back to normal...now sit down."

"_**No."**_

"Sam."

"_**You dove in front of a bullet for me, it's the least I can do, now let me go."**_

"No way in hell...you s-stupid brat," Dean tightened his hand round Sam's wrist to a point where he knew he was hurting the kid, adrenalin or rather pure fear did a lot to your body, thankfully this time it gave him some strength. A swollen wrist hurt a lot less than a bullet wound if those assholes caught him sneaking around.

Sam let a few more tears drip down before he prodded Dean's wound with his free hand and took off running when Dean let go, curling himself in a ball with the fresh pain, the dizziness trying to overtake him, but the agony waking up his drowsy mind.

"I-I'm sorry," the old guy stuttered when he saw Sam flee.

"If anything...happens to my brother... I will kill you all," Dean swore at them before going back to being silent waiting for his baby brother to come back...if he didn't then he was going to kill Sam himself, even if it meant coming out of unconsciousness.

Sam stayed on the ground, followed where the man pointed and was so happy when he saw a huge aisle of first aid things, he looked around for any immediate danger before grabbing packets of painkillers, a packet of bandages that read 'comes free with aid scissors' some sachets of gauze and a huge tub of antibacterial wipes. When this was over some guys seriously owed them a life time supply of this stuff. It was difficult carrying them back while he tried to stay low whilst hoping he was being quiet but he managed it, chanting to himself that this was for Dean so he had to.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he finally rounded the corner again and saw Dean, he didn't look pissed, he looked scared...Dean never looked scared.

"You are so grounded and I'm taking your damn bear!"

"_**You're welcome," **_Sam joked, setting the supplies on the floor.

"Sam...you could have died...just then."

"_**So could you diving in front of me but you did it anyway, that's just what brothers do for each other."**_

"When we get out of here...I'm going to kick your ass into next week."

Sam ignored the words of fear that were masquerading as anger from his brother and just got to work. He opened the packet of bandages, set the scissors down on the clean plastic packaging and took the top off the tub of wipes. He had no idea what he was doing, but he couldn't just sit there and do nothing.

He picked up the scissors and cut a long slit up Dean's jacket sleeve to his shoulder, smiling a little when he got yet another whine about how he owed Dean a new jacket.

When all layers of clothing were cut and peeled away Sam cried at the sight, there was blood, a deep angry hole and the flesh around it was torn badly, painfully! Oh, and did he mention BLOOD!?!

"I've had worse," Dean said when he saw the shock and fresh tear on his brother's face. "Pass me the stuff...I can do it," he offered thinking it would be better for Sam if he didn't look at the wound any more than he had to, but Sam shook his head and pulled out 4 or 5 wipes and pressed them where the bleeding was.

Dean's eyes stung but he forced himself to suck it up. "Press on...h-harder," he told Sam before he gave an encouraging nod, or rather tried to, his head was inching closer to his chest and his eyelids were mere slits by this point, he hated blood loss, he really really did.

Sam did as he was told and bit his lip when Dean moaned deep in his chest, Sam knew from past experiences, the help of TV drama's and plain common sense, he needed to keep Dean awake. He tapped his big brother's cheek lightly, getting a scrunched up face from Dean.

"Wha' ya doin'?" he moaned and cursed when he saw Sam's confused face, the kid obviously couldn't read let alone understand slurred words then. "What?" Dean asked careful with his lips, forcing them wide for his little brother's sake.

Sam pealed Dean's eyes open getting his attention a little more then. _**"You need to stay awake, don't leave me alone okay?"**_ Sam begged before squeezing Dean's hand and went back to hold fresh antiseptic wipes with his other, hoping the bleeding was slowing down.

Dean saw the look on Sam's face when he was asked not to be alone, that was Sam's way of saying please don't pass out and leave me vulnerable with those assholes still around, so the older boy pulled himself together and fought every natural force and instinct the blood loss, shock and pain were forcing on his body. He pushed himself up a little and forced his eyes wide, chanting to himself that he needed to stay awake to protect Sam.

"You're doing good Sammy," Dean coached before he nodded to Sam to get the bandages. He held the wipes on his bad arm as his brother went for the other things, pressing on hard enough to force himself to stay alert that bit more.

Dean didn't have the heart to tell his brother it would be best to get the bullet out sooner before he covered up the hole, so he just let Sam roll up a few gauze pads as padding then watched as he wrapped that to the wound under neither a few more rolls of white bandage.

It was a quick job, not very practical, but he was damn proud of his little brother for one: having enough guts to look at the bleeding mess. Two: having enough stupidity also known as bottle to go get the supplies. And three: knowing what needed to be done to stop infections and bleeding to death for at least another few hours.

Sam once again crawled on his hands and knees and Dean was afraid he was taking off for something else but thankfully the kid only got as far as the ladies shopping before he stopped and took an only slightly dinted bottle of water from the side of her and crawled back into the safety of his big brother's side. Sam held up 4 different kinds of painkillers for Dean to choose from, at first he wanted to refuse, his head was foggy enough but Sam was just as stubborn and wouldn't let up until he picked one. Dean pointed to the ones he knew were weakest and Sam nodded before getting the label and reading it. Dean smiled, finding it funny Sam still found it logical to spare the time for reading labels.

It was only a quick skim read by the looks when Sam handed him 3 of the painkillers and helped him wash them down with the small bottle of water. It was embarrassing Sam had to hold it for him but he didn't really have the patience to be macho right now, plus as weird as it sounded, Sam looked like he was in his element doing the caring for the first time.

After a few gulps Sam pulled the bottle back and set it on the floor once the cap was on. He tidied up the evidence by pushing the left over bandages and empty packets between the freezers they were leaning against and sat over the gap just to be safe.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked when Sam sat back and leaned into his good side.

Sam nodded and let his head drop on Dean's shoulder before he let more 'scared for his big brother' tears go.

"It's gonna be okay Sammy, it's all gonna be okay...sshhh, it's okay," he chanted when he heard the sniffles that turned into quiet sobs as the boy buried his head into his neck. Dean shuffled a little, grimaced but eventually managed to feed his good arm over Sam's shoulders letting the kid lean into him all he liked. "Sshhh...it's okay, don't cry Sammy, I'm right here, Dean's right here. Nothing's gonna happen to us I promise...sshhh..."

When Sam looked up a little, he saw the others were staring at them, their hearts breaking for the boys that were obviously very close and loved each other very much. And Sam's apparent disability only made it more upsetting to witness as Dean slowly fell into unconsciousness.

"Eaa?" Sam asked, shaking his brother, he could tell Dean wasn't all the way gone as he felt a groan in his chest, this only made Sam sob all the more, it was official, he was alone now. Knowing he couldn't do anything now...Sam just let himself lean into Dean and let his eyes close.

Just when Sam was about to let himself drop off, forget about everything around them, the gang of idiots came towards them, swaying on their feet and their guns slipping in all directions.

Knowing something was wrong...even worse than before, Dean forced his eyes open and looked around.

"Allllright! Who here is rich!?!" Shrimp yelled with Stretch and Fatty by his side, all of them stinking with pupils the size of saucers.

'_Great...now they're stoned, no wonder they hadn't been to check up on us guests, too busy getting high...man this is such a shameful attempt at a robbery._

_**TBC...**_


	20. Prayers like ammonites

***Kicks self in butt for forgetting to update this story!***

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**Prayers like ammonites**

"Alllright! Who here is rich!?!" Shrimp yelled with Stretch and Fatty by his side, all of them stinking with pupils the size of saucers.

'_Great...now they're stoned, no wonder they hadn't been to check up on us guests, too busy getting high...man this is such a shameful attempt at a robbery.'_

"Come on...I knowss oness of you haaad gotta have a rich mooommy or daaaaddy that can come rescue emm...come on who is gonnnna be are ransom? You know you wannnaaa..." Stretch slurred.

"How about Burt and Ernie over here!" Fatty cheered looking at Sam and Dean huddled together, separated from the others for obvious reasons.

"O-our dad is an accountant..." Dean stuttered, trying to seem more traumatised than in pain.

"They 'avv lotssaa money don't they?" Shrimp asked Stretch.

Dean nodded, he did his best to keep Sam's face hidden as he carried on with the lies. Hopefully if they managed to call their dad, tell them his eldest was shot and bleeding so he best bring a good few million dollars and come get them, John would turn up with Bobby and his arsenal to kick these assholes into the ground.

"Good! Let's go!" Fatty yelled dragging Dean up from the floor with the front of his jacket causing Sam to hit the floor when his cushion was ripped from under him.

"Sammy!" Dean yelled scared when his brother's face hit the ground hard. He tried to pull back from the three men now pulling him away but it was no use so he stopped struggling and gave the others a look of please help my brother before he was no longer able to see them.

"Sit'down...call 'im!"

"I thought the phone lines were dead!" Dean snapped back when Fatty, the more sober of the group pushed him to a desk chair with a phone next to him.

"Just call, before we shoot a hole in your sister out there!" Stretch threatened and Dean knew they were talking about his brother, he might not be much use now but if they ever touched a hair on Sammy's head adrenalin mixed with pure rage will do a lot to a person with a gun shot in the arm. Dean suppressed a growl and pulled up his un-injured arm, rested it on the desk then brought his hand round and dialled whilst he picked up the receiver with his good hand.

He breathed a sigh when he heard it ring.

"_Yeah?!"_ he heard his dad ask, he was obviously pissed...and something else that was hard to pick up...was it fear?

"D-dad?" Dean asked, swallowing the building tears of pain and relief.

"_Dean?! Dean where are you? Are you and Sam okay?!"_

"Uh...Sammy's fine...I hope."

"_What's wrong Dean?"_ John asked, knowing what his son meant when he only said Sammy was fine.

"I-I...I messed up dad...I walked right into an ambush..."

"_What are they?! Do you have salt? Your gun? Silver?! What are they and what have they done to you?!"_

"Uh...that won't work...neither will silver...dad I walked right into an armed robbery with Sammy...I'm so sorry..."

"Get on with it already! We want our money!" Shrimp yelled punching Dean, it didn't hurt that bad but it was the pain it caused to his shoulder that made him cry out.

"_Dean?! If you've hurt my kids I swear to god I will end you!!"_ John screamed...thankfully Dean had muffled the phone so the others wouldn't hear, a raging father wasn't really helping Dean's plan.

"D-dad...listen to me...they know we're rich...I told them you could get the money and they'll let us go-" just when John was about to ask Dean how much, and where was he hurt more importantly, Fatty yanked the phone from his ear and began to talk down it, Dean only hoped his dad would pretend to be some wimpy accountant so they could get the hell out of this trap soon.

"We want $100,000 in cash, then we'll let your pretty kids run along home."

'_One hundred thousand dollars...in cash? Wow these guys must be stupid...'_

"_I can get the money, but before we agree on anything I need to know what injuries they have."_

"Well...pretty boy here has a bullet in the arm, and the other kid, we'll see when you get the money, and don't call the cops! Or you won't be getting them back in one piece!"

John knew it was useless asking for them to be let go, so he played along in the role Dean had set up for him, when this was over he was going to spoil that kid. _"Leave them alone, and I'll get you the money in cash in 30 minutes. Where are you and where are my kids?"_

"At a mini mart outside the main town, crappy little store, yellow sign, parking lot is a ghost town, hard to miss."

"_I'll be there, 30 minutes on the dot, and I want my kids before you get your money."_

"Done...see you in 30," Fatty ended the call and smiled, "well who knew this robbing business would be so easy..."

'_Oh brother...these guys are clueless!'_

"Come on pretty boy, daddy says we can't touch you...but I think we can still make this fun..." Fatty yanked Dean up with his bad arm and squeezed so tight Dean was sure the remaining blood had just left his body through the hole he was sporting.

"AAAHHH!!" Dean yelled when his arm was twisted and manipulated in such a way, he knew the asshole torturing him didn't know how much hurt he was causing.

They all ganged up on him and kicked him in the ribs, taking turns before a sudden door bleep caught everyone's attention.

'_Please Sammy tell me you're out...please please please...'_

They all stopped the beating and ran out of the crappy office to see what the commotion was, dropping Dean hard to the floor in the process.

"G-god..." Dean cried curling into himself on the cold plastic floor, thankful yet praying the pain of the drop would stop already.

_**~S/D~**_

"Yeah?!"

"Jonny seriously take a breath, they're fine," Bobby hissed at his friend from the driver's seat.

"Dean?!" Bobby's head shot up then, his ears pinned back trying to listen in but over his engine it was hard to hear Dean on the other end.

As the conversation rolled on Bobby cursed himself, he knew not to be so hopeful, he was now crushed, as Dean yelled at the other end and John was telling someone not to hurt his son he knew it was bad.

"I'll be there, 30 minutes on the dot, and I want my kids before you get your money."

John slammed his cell shut, then punched his hand into the dash board, usually Bobby would curse and yell that the man owed him a new one, but with John in this state, he knew it was no time to be an ass.

"Step on it, small crappy mini mart, yellow sign."

"I know that place, we're 5 minutes from there."

"5 minutes according to the speeding limit?"

"Nope, 15 minutes if I go 30 miles per hour, we'll get there John, don't worry, the kids will be fine."

"Sammy will be, nothing's gonna happen to that kid while Dean's around but Dean's been shot. Drive faster." Bobby nodded, and pushed on the gas, going faster than he thought possible.

_**~S/D~**_

"Sammy!" Sam knew Dean yelled, he could see his big brother yelling and fighting the men but it was just hurting him more.

He felt arms pull his face from the floor he just hit and he flinched back, that wasn't Dean, only Dean could help him with things like this...who was touching him?

"Hey, it's okay sonny."

'_Oh, now they want to help?'_ the others were crowding around him, poking their big ugly noses in to see him, he was starting to suffocate! The old guy pressed a hand to his cheek causing Sam to hit back with his fist in shock. _'That hurt! Dean always warns me when he does things like that! OW!'_

"AH!" the old store owner whines pressing his own hand to his now red jaw.

After he wiped away the new tears Sam knew he needed to get himself together, for his brother's sake, he needed to save Dean, but also make him proud.

'_What would Dean do? What would Dean do?'_

Then it dawned on him, Dean would want him to get all these assholes, sorry, people out of the shop and safe.

"_**You need to get out of here now!"**_ Sam signed but none of them understood, their faces all confused and really unhelpful.

Sam growled, now he was beginning to understand why Dean got mad at people all the time. He saw the old guy had a pad in his shirt pocket and a pen clipped to it so he took the opportunity and snatched them.

"**RUN! MY BROTHER IS KEEPING THEM BUSY, SO RUN!" **he underlined 'RUN' three times and pointed to the door. They looked, following Sam's pointing but looked scared to even attempt running.

All of their heads pricked up when they heard Dean scream, natural survival instincts taking over, running for the door before they could even think about getting caught.

Sam ducked when he saw at the far end in the distance three men running to the door trying to catch the people that were already gone.

The young boy took this opportunity to run for his big brother who was still in the back room.

"EEEEE??!! EEEEEE???!!!" he screamed on his way, hoping he was heard. He ran through the open room and slammed the door behind him.

What he saw on the floor would no doubt haunt him forever. His big brother, his hero, bleeding out, bruised and crying out in pain.

"NNAAHH!! Sam yelled when he felt a hand on his ankle pull him to the floor.

"Come'ere you little shit!" Fatty yelled standing over Sam, ready to pull the boy upside down to have some fun.

Sam twisted free from the grip then kicked out at the man's face with all he had, _**'for Dean!'**_ he chanted as he carried on pounding on the man that deserved all that he had coming to him and more. Before Sam knew it, he was fighting off 3 grown men, punching out wherever he saw a weak spot, their faces, their abdomen, their junk site, wherever he could, he kicked.

After 60 long and gruelling seconds, Sam's knuckles were burning and he could even feel the muscles in his legs ripping, but he carried on for Dean, fighting them all off protecting his unconscious brother behind him.

He wanted to cry when he saw 2 more men come up behind the others, but when Sam slowed down enough to see people and not just blurs, he saw the new men were wearing plaid and blue jeans.

"Get the hell off my kids you son of a bitch!"

The stoners were done and bleeding wrecks thanks to John and Bobby in 2 seconds flat.

"Sammy!" John yelled rushing to his youngest that was about to hit the floor for a second time. He caught Sam under the arms and gently lowered his limp son to the floor.

"Smmmmm..." he heard Dean groan and he couldn't help but gasp at the sight.

"John he needs a hospital fast!" Bobby informed when he felt Dean's slow and barely there pulse.

Sam mustered up the energy he didn't even have to crawl to Dean and place his head in his lap.

"Nhostllsss..." Dean groaned turning his head towards the voices.

"Dean? Dean you with us? Wake up son, come on you can do it..."

Trying to focus, Dean pushed all his power into his lips. "No...hospitlleesss..." Dean breathed.

"Dean, you need-"

"No."

"Dean you need blood son."

"No, hospitals, you c'n give me summm....Sammy needs...safe...feel safe...won't be safe if he sees...me...theeeerrrr...." thankfully Dean was slurring so much Sam didn't get a word of it.

But John knew exactly what Dean was talking about.

"Dean are you sure about this son?"

"John what are you-"

"Bobby shut up, let me take care of kids, just shut up!" John yelled, he knew this was wrong, but he also knew Dean. "Dean are you sure? I'm sure Sammy will understand."

"No, hossiilllss...please...."

"Okay, okay you got it son, no hospitals, I'll give you what you need, it's okay, Sammy will be fine I promise you," and with those words, Dean was out.

"John what the hell was that? This kid needs medical care."

"Yeah and you and I can give it to him, Bobby just trust Dean on this, he knows what he wants."

"Well when you have a minute please explain this to me!" Bobby yelled then turned his face to the boys and his expression softened. "Come on, we better get going before the cops show up."

John nodded, he knew this was wrong, but he needed to take this risk for his family. Bobby took Dean into his arms and John took Sam, both of them knowing only John could touch the young kid at this time without him flipping out.

There wasn't much room in the car but somehow they managed it, Dean was lent up against John and Sam was squashed on the end in the back seat and Bobby was driving way past the speeding limit but too stressed to even care. They had managed to lay 2 blankets over Dean, John got 2 out, one for Sam and one for Dean but Sam didn't like the idea of one each much so he wrapped it around his big brother instead.

"Ddd?" Dean asked coming too just a little when they were 15 minutes into the drive.

"Yeah kiddo? How you feeling?" John asked running his hands through his eldest sons hair, knowing if Dean was lucid, he would never allow it.

"No hossplleess?" Dean asked.

"No hospitals," John promised.

"Sammy 'kay?"

John looked over at the still crying kid who had his eyes fixed on Dean, one of them was bruised and swollen but John thought what Dean didn't know for the time being wouldn't hurt him. "He's fine, not a scratch on him thanks to you bud."

"S'good...s'good..." Dean squeezed his hand a little and felt something warm threaded through his fingers, he knew that was Sam. "Sammmyyy did good...." he told them all.

"I bet he did son," John nodded, trying to keep up the conversation so Dean would stay awake even just a little, but it was too late, Dean was out like a light again, his breathing or rather wheezing settled a little.

"John how's he doing?" Bobby asked from the front.

"Drive faster," were John's only words, and Bobby followed them.

_**TBC...**_

_**I know Dean needs a hospital but I'm in the mood for some Dean mending at Bobby's house :D  
**_


	21. Call to Arms

**Erm...yeah, sorry!**

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**Call to Arms**

"John how's he doing?" Bobby asked from the front.

"Drive faster," were John's only words, and Bobby followed them.

"Ddd..." Dean breathed tossing his head and John knew he shouldn't be surprised at his son's stubborn rebellions against passing out, but somehow he was.

"Right here kiddo, we're almost there, just hang on Dean, can you do that?"

"Yhh..."

"Just hang on son, hang on for your old man and Sammy."

"'kay."

"That's my boy," John ran another hand through his sons hair and Bobby tried to pretend he didn't see the kiss the supposed 'heartless' man planted on Dean's forehead.

"John, you get the boys inside, I'll go to the clinic to get what we need."

"Thanks."

"Not doing it for you John."

John said nothing else as they pulled into Singer's Yard in a blur.

Sam was first out of the car, the poor boy was obviously in shock because he tried to carry Dean all by himself, and carrying Dean's 6.1 muscle built frame was way beyond his capabilities, the kid was tough and could manage it if he had to, but now he was just exhausted and was probably having a hard time even keeping his own head up, let alone carry his big brother single**-**handedly.

"Sam I got it, it's okay," John tried as he bent round Sam and attempted to pick Dean up, but Sam didn't like that plan.

The kid was growling deep in his throat, John wasn't sure if the kid even knew who he was.

"Sam, you gotta move okay? I can help Dean if you let me."

Sam shook his head angrily, latched onto Dean's belt loop and pulled his big brother to him, or rather tried to, Dean was a dead weight right now.

Bobby sighed, they weren't going to get anywhere, John needed an extra set of hands it seemed and he could only set off for the things Dean needed once they were all out of the truck.

He opened his door, and in one swift move, Sam was in his arms and screaming bloody murder as he pulled him along to the house.

"NNNAAAAAA!! DDDDEEEEEE!!!!"

As they reached his front door Bobby couldn't do anything but try and block out the cries as Sam tried to pull free from him, he was so shocked when he received a punch in the nose that he let his guard down and Sam slipped or rather yanked from his arms and ran back to Dean who was half way up the porch in John's hold right now.

"Sam no," John forced as the kid approached and almost knocked him down in the process of falling from Bobby.

Sam sobbed some more then slowed down when he was warned, he stopped struggling and just gripped Dean's belt when he found it, he wasn't in the way there, but he wasn't letting go this time.

They got to the dining room Bobby mumbled a quick 'are you good now?' John said yes and worked fast as the front door shut, he hoped his improvisation skills would work for him today, Dean needed it for sure, Bobby had good medical supplies, but they could be better.

"Alright let's see what we got," it was a nervous, or rather pure terror habit, he talked when he administered first aid, a few years ago, before Sam, John was sure when he patched up Dean's wounds, when he was unconscious or in pain was the only time he talked to his son for real like they were just normal, and that was one of the saddest thoughts he'd ever had.

He tried to stow the pity party for now and concentrate on his son as he got a large knife from Bobby's draw and cut the rest of Dean's shirt, jacket and t-shirt off in record time before peeling away the bandages Sam had wrapped around the arm well.

"Sam I'm sorry but you gotta move," John almost yelled when Sam was blocking his light.

Sam shuffled all of an inch but it was better than nothing.

A few minutes of prodding and poking Dean's new hole, John put Sam in charge of watching the older boy while he ran round the house trying to locate Bobby's first aid box.

"Ssmm..."

Sam didn't know what Dean said, he didn't even know if sounds came out of his lips, where was that stupid headache that allowed him to hear when he needed it?!

Sam could do nothing but hold the belt loop tighter until it stopped the blood circulation in his finger and hold onto his big brother's hand trying to get it warm...it shouldn't be that cold should it?

"Yourr...fault..."

'_W-what?...'_

"Ssmmyy...s'fault..."

Sam let out a strangled sob, his ears started to ring, and his heart was pounding what felt like ice through his whole body.

John was back, he was moving closer to Dean and trying to get a good grip on the tweezers he'd found. "Sammy you need give me a little space sport."

'_All my fault...Dean knows it's all my fault...I did this to him, I'm gonna kill him...he's gonna die...and it's all my fault!'_

"Sam!" he yelled when the boy just stared blankly at Dean's still form. He wasn't sure what else happened, his eyes were so closed in on Dean's knotted bullet wound to realise Sam was gone, and Dean was still mumbling faults...

_**~S/D~**_

"You got it?"

"I got it, more than what we need but you never know, also managed to snake some painkillers, antibiotics and a sling," Bobby grumbled when he took his coat off and made his way to Dean on his dining table. "Bullet out yet?" he asked, knowing the answer already when John's hand still gripped the tweezers inside Dean.

"Hang on...just a little further...come on Dean hang on for me kid...oh I got it...I got it!" John repeated when he gripped the bullet with the long tweezers and pulled the metal up and out of Dean's shoulder. "Not too deep," he said but the mess of the cut through flesh said otherwise. It had been that long since Dean had been shot, his wound had started healing already so to get the bullet out they had to use a technique neither of them wanted to. It was painful for everyone and only made the wound bleed more, but every injury had it pros and conswhen it was stitched up.

"Great, now let's get this kid sewn up and some blood into him, god knows what his blood pressure's dropped to by now."

"No arguments here, we really need to start thieving some professional equipment."

"Or we could try the hospital," Bobby growled.

"Hey this was Dean's decision."

"You're meant to be the adult!"

"No, don't pull that guilt crap with me Singer! I already feel bad but I'm doing this for my kids okay."

"Could you please elaborate on that already?!"

"Sam wants this operation, Dean wants Sam to feel safe while he's in the hospital and he's scared that if he ends up there with this bullet wound...Sam won't feel safe anymore if he sees his big brother hurting in one of those white beds. It's crazy I know but they're my kids, what do you expect?"

"True...they were doomed from the start."

"Thanks."

"Alright-, okay speaking of Sam, where is he?"

"Oh fuck....I gotta...can you-"

"I got Dean, you find Sam, he can't have gone far."

John nodded, then ran from the room calling Sam for some crazy reason...maybe Sam would hear him just this once.

"SAM?! Sammy?!" he called searching in the bathroom, living room....library, then he found him. "Sam?" he asked kneeling down next to the kid crouched in the small gap between the wall and Bobby's book shelf. He wasn't too shocked when he saw Sam had been crying his heart out, but he was taken aback when Sam launched himself around his neck and refused to let go as he sobbed. "Sshh, it's okay, I know, I know Sammy, I know, sshhh..." he whispered rubbing the boy's back as he lifted him from the gap and held on tight as he walked back to the dining room.

"He okay?" Bobby asked whilst cutting off the last stitch in Dean's shoulder.

John just shook his head and sat down with Sam in his lap.

"We need to get Dean in a bed, you got Sam?"

John nodded and stood once again with the sobbing mess in his arms, following Bobby who was carrying his eldest without complaint.

_**~S/D~**_

"That's it, kid should be coming around soon, his color is coming back at least," Bobby announced when the final unit of blood was done. "He's warmer," he said feeling Dean's forehead then laying the covers back up to his chin to let him have a few more hours of peaceful rest.

"That's good," John said from the other bed that was Sam's, the kid had yet to let go of him so it was decided silently, it would be best for Bobby to take care of Dean and report back to John while he looked after Sam, the kid flipped when Bobby had tried to take him and give his friend's neck a rest. John also thought Dean would want it this way too, as much as he hated it.

"Mmmooww..." Dean grunted at the very moment Sam lifted his head from John's shoulder for the first time in hours, almost as if he knew.

"Dean, how you doing kiddo?"

"Mmmgg..." was all Dean got out before he hissed in pain when he tried to turn onto his side he really hated sleeping on his back.

"Don't do that son, you need to lay still for a few more hours then we'll see about you moving Rambo."

"How'd you even know Rambooo?" Dean slurred with a smirk as his eyes closed once again and he was back to the land of the unconscious.

"Yeah Bobby, how do you know about Rambo?" John smirked, it was a sucky day so far but that didn't mean it couldn't lighten up right? "Sam? Sammy?" John asked when he heard some wheezing, and it wasn't coming from Dean. "Sam it's okay, he's gonna be fine," he promised for the hundredth time as he saw Sam was worked up again. John sighed, 'only one thing for it,' he thought before standing with the boy and walking to Dean's bed, it was the strangest thing when Sam tensed even more, the closer they got to his eldest.

"Maybe we should wait till Dean's awake enough to tell him himself," Bobby suggested.

"Yeah, good plan," John nodded taking Sam back to the other bed and sitting down with him still firmly glued to his side. "Come on Dean wake up son, your brother needs you...hell I need you."

'_Okay...maybe I didn't hear that,'_ Bobby thought as he went to leave the room, giving the Winchesters some time alone.

"Where are you going?" John asked, almost like a scared kid, afraid to be left alone with a huge responsibility that was his 2 wounded sons.

"Food," Bobby whispered before he left with a sympathetic smile...who knew, John Winchester got scared.

_**~S/D~**_

"Ow..." Dean grunted, lucid for the first time in 2 days.

"Dean? You awake son?" John asked, leaning over his boy hoping he could be seen with the help of the moonlight shining through the room.

"D'dad?"

"Yeah, it's me Dean, how you feeling?"

"Where's Sammy?"

"Sleeping, he's right here Dean," John nodded to the bed next to him.

"He okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine."

"What happened?"

"What do you remember?" John asked back, he hoped Dean remembered, if he didn't, that was a very bad sign.

"Robbery...got shot, it kinda hurt."

"Yeah I bet, bullets usually do."

"Did you and Bobby get em?"

"What, the bullets?"

"Huh?"

"The bullet's out Dean yeah."

"No, not bullet, the guys...did you get em?"

"With the help of Sammy, sure did kiddo, they won't be robbing anywhere for a long time don't you worry."

"Do I wanna know?" Dean smirked.

"Probably not," John said in all honesty, the guys they left bleeding on the floor probably had more broken bones than the hospital would care to count, they would be in pain for a very long time.

"M'sorry dad, was all my fault, I walked into an ambush, without a gun too."

"No it wasn't Dean, it was a pretty hectic day for all of us, you don't have to apologize for anything okay?"

Dean nodded, sleep was calling again, only he didn't wanna...

"How you feeling then?"

"Mgg...hurts."

"Bad?" John winced, Dean never admitted pain.

"Yeah...rub it for me."

"Dean I'm not sure me rubbing a bullet hole is gonna make the pain go away, it would probably make it worse."

"No not my arm, my foot."

"Your foot?"

"Uh-huh."

John frowned, his panic upping a notch as he pulled back the covers to get a look at Dean's feet, he almost laughed when he saw the right one twitching.

"You have a nasty bullet hole, blood loss, a whole lot of bruised ribs and the rest, and the thing that hurts is your cramping foot?"

"M'yeah," Dean whined, shaking his foot around a little but it only caused more pain in the rest of his body.

"Unbelievable," John muttered as he took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Very true," Dean joked then let himself relax when his father rubbed his tight foot muscles between his warm hands.

"Smart ass."

"Again true."

"Last time I did this for you was when you were 14."

"I know, growing pains suck ass."

"Sammy's gonna need your help when he gets taller, kid's gonna make green giant look like a Borrower at this rate."

"No way, s'not gonna be taller than me."

"I think he just might be kiddo."

"M'not a kiddo, old man."

"Well right now you're mine so shut up, go back to sleep."

"M'hungry," he moaned as his dad still held his foot, for what reason now he didn't know, the cramp was over.

"We'll see how well you're feeling in the morning, then you can have something to eat, don't want you puking, you just got your fluids back."

"Yeah...what's biting my hand?" Dean asked going to scratch it.

"Ah, no, don't, it's an IV, needs to stay in just in case."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"Uh, you suck when I'm injured."

"And you're whiney when you're injured. Get some sleep Dean, I'll be here."

"Good...look after Sammy."

"You know I will."

"Uh-huh."

"Night Dean."

"Don't you dare kiss me again."

"I think you're delirious," John smiled.

"Am not, night dad..."

"Night kiddo."

_**TBC...**_

**I know this took forever, but 22 is already written if that's any consolation.**


	22. I could use a wish right now

**Okay, title I had to use when I heard this song today! Airplanes by B.o.b Feat Hayley Williams from Paramore! I don't like rap but thanks to her, this song rocks! Plus**_** wish...**_**its my 18****TH**** BIRTHDAY tomorrow '29****th****, so maybe today if you're reading it then or now...okay, shutting up.' Woot woot! I feel so old though!! MEH, prezzies make it all better!!!! I would like to say a huge thank you to all my wonderful fanfic friends who have sent me stuff and wished me happy b-day!...aawww *happy sniffles...* I love all's yall's! **

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**I could use a wish right now**

It was day 3 of being stuck in bed at Bobby's. Between sleeping and the drugs and the dizziness that still hung around, Dean had seen little of anyone besides his father and not seen much past the bedroom door unless it was to go to the bathroom and even then his dad insisted on helping him there which was the most embarrassing thing ever. He was sort of glad Sam was nowhere to be seen right now, if the kid saw him in the weak state he had been in these last few days, he would never live that down, Sam would never let him out of his sight or even cross the road on his own anymore that's for sure. The few times he was awake he asked about his little brother, John would always saw he was upset obviously but he was handling things rather well, Dean knew that was a lie, maybe not one from his father, but maybe one Sam had been telling to John and like a fool he believed it.

It was about 3am, perfect timing for the cries from the next bed, Dean hoped to God Sam hadn't been like this every night since they got to Bobby's, he hoped he hadn't missed the nightmares in the last 2 nights because of the dumb ass drugs and he prayed Sam hadn't woken up and had to sob himself back to sleep with the supposed big brother oblivious.

"Hey, Sammy, come on kiddo it's okay, sshh I'm right here, Sammy wake up it's okay," Dean whispered as he attempted to wake his whimpering brother up.

"Nn...Deee..."

"Hey, I'm right here Sammy," Dean comforted, his voice strong and promising but none of his usual phrases were working tonight it seemed. "Screw it," he muttered looking at the door, he hoped John didn't walk in while he did this, he would be in big trouble.

He lifted the sling he had been handed just yesterday and pulled it over his head. He then shrugged it free from his arm and dropped it to the floor before sitting on the end of the bed and pulling his baby brother to his chest with his good arm. He tried to move his bad one around Sam's back but it just wasn't cooperating so he gave it up as a bad job and just held Sam as tight as he could with the other.

"Sshh, it's okay Sammy, I'm right here, just wake up now okay? I'm right here, not going anywhere anytime soon I swear."

And then he felt Sam tense, and watched as his eyes opened to let a few stray tears fall.

"Hey," Dean smiled rocking Sam ever so slightly, he would wait a few moments for Sam to come round then he would turn the light on so they could talk, God knows he needed to know Sam was okay for starters.

When he heard nothing, no more sobs, no breaths of relief and no hugs back, Dean started to get worried, Sam couldn't speak much, but he was never silent.

He leaned over and turned the lamp on then shielded his brother's eyes from the angry glare of the direct light.

"Sam?" he asked lifted the boys head up to meet his eyes.

Sam merely gulped, as in gulped in fear, he hadn't seen that type of fear from Sam in months, when the kid was afraid his father would hit him.

"Hey, long time no see," Dean smiled.

Sam still didn't let up the painful expression.

"Sam, you with me?" Dean asked carefully, sometimes Sam was still trapped in his dreams or still felt stuck in them when it appeared he was awake, maybe this was one of those times.

Sam however, seemed to be with him, but that was just the problem.

"Hey, talk to me," Dean kindly ordered, sitting back against the headboard with Sam resting not so relaxed on his chest with his head turned towards his big brother's face to read his lips. "Sam? I need you to talk to me, if the nightmare was that bad then you gotta tell me dude."

Sam shook his head, he didn't want to talk at all, the first chance he got he was running out the front door and letting himself fall into a hole where he couldn't hurt Dean anymore than he already had, trouble was these past few days, Bobby had been watching him like a hawk.

"Sam, what happened while I was out man? I thought knowing you, you'd been glued to my side being mother hen like there was no tomorrow," that was meant to be a joke, but when Sam let out a long sob, Dean knew it wasn't taken the way he meant it. "Hey, hey I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sshh don't cry Sammy, just tell me what's up."

"_**No."**_

"Why not? It can't be that bad."

"_**It is."**_

"I doubt it, come on, what is it kid?"Dean smirked. "Sam? Come on, I wish you'd just talk to me dude..." he pleaded seriously when he got no laughs in return.

"_**Careful what you wish for."**_

"Sammy? Please kiddo?"

"_**...my fault."**_

"What?"

"_**It's all my fault."**_

"What Sammy?"

Sam shook his head again and tried to pull away from Dean, tried to get away from the comfort he didn't deserve.

"No, no you're not getting away with it that easy Sammy, Sam!" Dean yelled when the kid was free then falling from the bed, it hurt like hell when he tried to stop the tumble and ended up in a heap with Sam on the floor too. "Ow..." he groaned lying on the floor, looking up at the ceiling trying to stop the sting of involuntary tears. _'Damn, stupid bullet wounds!'_ he cursed, it was like when you hit a funny bone and your nerve ends scream so loud it brings tears to your eyes but technically you're not crying.

The next thing he saw was Sam's face, looking over him from above, tears of shock and horror streaming down his face and dripping into his own.

Dean laughed, he couldn't help it, then he pulled his good arm up and yanked Sam down to the floor too next to him as he carried on chuckling. He hadn't slept on the floor in years but the covers were already there, and so were he and Sam, he really couldn't be bothered to pick them back up. They were camping out on the carpet, as he signalled to Sam when he rolled onto his good side and closed his eyes with the better arm wrapped round his brother's chest for protection.

"Night Sammy."

'_Sorry....Dean...m'sorry for everything...m'sorry for being alive and...I'm sorry...'_

_**~S/D~**_

"Yo, Sammy, rise and shine."

When he woke up at first, Dean expected his shoulder, hell his whole body to hurt like hell and be as stiff as a board, but surprisingly, he felt fine, well, almost, it still sort of hurt, but only a little, not much, he barely noticed the ... _gaping, gross, nasty_ hole in his arm anymore.

Sam was awake though, which was weird, why didn't Sam wake him hours ago then? Looked like he'd been awake for a while with how alert he was.

"_**You wanna talk to me this morning?" **_Signing seemed to get Sam's attention a little more, the kid was never good at being ignorant.

Sam shook his head, _surprising_.

"_**What did you mean by it's all your fault?"**_

Sam turned over, refusing to answer.

Dean put a hand on his shoulder and leaned over the kid to see his face, Sam wasn't getting away with it that easy, he'd let it go last night but not this time.

"_**Come on dude, you gotta speak to me, we're not leaving this room till you tell me, and you know dad **__**is **__**gonna be pissed if we don't go downstairs for breakfast soon."**_

"_**It's all my fault."**_

"What?" Dean pushed careful of his tone even though Sam couldn't hear it, didn't mean he couldn't feel it.

"_**Everything, you even said so yourself."**_

"Whoa? What? When the hell did I tell you that everything was your fault? Nothing Sam is your fault."

"_**But it is, you were right, you were all bleeding and I thought you were dying...I thought I killed you, then you said it too, you said it was my fault and I knew then it was true...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please don't hate me."**_

As if by a matter of milli seconds, Sam was sobbing uncontrollably in his big brother's arms, he knew it was wrong, but he could have one last comforting attempt before he left right?

"Oh God...Sammy, no swear I don't hate you, I never could dude, I love you man."

Sam froze...did he just see right? Dean...Dean said he loved him.

"It's true, you want me to be all chick flick I will, I love you dude. Should we make out now?" Dean asked, his face completely serious, before he turned bright red and laughed his ass off as Sam got a look of horror on his face. "Dude I'm so good at yanking your chain, that was priceless."

"_**So not funny Dean."**_

"Oh believe me, it was."

After a little more laughing from both boys, Sam went still again before asking, _**"Dean, you think it's my fault don't you? Why else would you say it?"**_

"Sam...that wasn't it, it...I'm not embarrassing myself by telling you what the hell I was talking about but I can honestly say that it was totally not the way it sounded."

"_**What was it?"**_

"Not telling."

"_**Why?"**_

"Cos it's embarrassing."

"_**Either you're being stupid again or you really do think **__**it's**__** my fault and you **__**can't**__** think of a good excuse yet to try and humour me."**_

"What are you? Dr. Phil?"

"_**Dean,"**_ Sam pleaded.

"It doesn't count though, I was shot and bleeding and unconscious...it totally doesn't count so-"

"_**Dean please just tell me? Then maybe I can make it better."**_

"Dude it's insane, it wasn't reality so there's really nothing you can do, but Sam dude stop it, nothing, none of this is your fault, my dad told me you kicked butt with those guys 10 times your size."

"_**Stop changing the subject, what was it? What's my fault?"**_

"You lost our ball."

"Huh?" Sam even grunted verbally, probably unconsciously.

"Exactly, told you it's insane."

"_**Please tell me?"**_

"You drop it? Never speak about it ever again after I tell you?"

Sam seemed to consider that.

"Sam?" Dean warned making the kid nod immediately.

"_**I promise."**_

"You...my mom was there, I was dreaming of you and me, and my mom and dad in the park together, we were kicking around this ball and you lost it over the fence, you burst out crying cos you wanted me to go get it but I said no cos it was your fault we lost it...so there okay? It's stupid and insane and doesn't mean anything at all in the world of reality. So shut up dude."

"_**But-"**_

"Sam didn't I tell you to drop it?"

"_**But...that's it?"**_ Sam asked, his mouth flopping open and shut in shock before he sat up, Dean followed, then he wrapped his arms around his big brother in pure relief...so maybe Dean didn't hate him. They pulled away and smiled for a few seconds over how ridiculous it was because it was just so...silly.

"Yup, that's it, told you, it was just a dream, it doesn't mean anything at all, now can we please stop talking about it?"

Sam nodded, he knew he wanted to talk about it, he wanted Dean to talk about his mom, he never had ever, but Dean didn't want to, and right now he was the injured one so he was the one that got his way.

"Good, now come on dude, I'm starving. Dad's been forcing me to eat toast for 4 freakin days man, so not cool."

They chuckled a little, Dean even let his brother help him from the floor before they left the room and made their way to the steps. Sam then skidded to a halt and ran back to the bedroom, Dean groaned when the kid came back with his sling.

"Don't need that, was just for those few days, it's better now," he assured Sam and thankfully the kid nodded and dropped it to his side, he still held it in his hand though. "Come on, my stomach's already eaten my liver, I think my kidneys are next."

They got to the second step, that was it, when John's voice could be heard.

"Dean get that damn sling on!" he heard his dad yell making him huff and take it from his brother's hand, he knew he wasn't getting away with it that easy, was worth a shot though right?

He pulled his tongue out when Sam helped him put it back on, he was enjoying this way too much_, 'just wait till you're in the hospital my friend, I'm gonna mother Teresa you like never before and I'm going to enjoy every moment of your whining. Okay maybe I won't...I'm going to hell...'_

_**TBC...**_

_**Now, back to NOT revising for tomorrow, my evil law teacher set a practise test on my freakin birthday, I swear she is getting personal! Uh! BBYYEEE!! SORRY I'M HYPER!!! **_


	23. Start of Something

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**Start of Something**

It was almost 3 weeks later, Dean still had trouble with the aches in his arm sometimes, but it was remarkably better, a painkiller every few days and he forgot the pain even existed.

The first week while in bed, Dean brought up the subject of Sam's hearing, Sam took the bait and started rambling about how excited he was about maybe being able to hear music for the first time, listening to the TV without subtitles, hearing Dean say the word Bitch for the first time, having a real conversation with them all and being able to have his say, of course he kept the last one to himself.

Hearing or rather seeing how happy Sam seemed when he talked about that stuff, John informed them that when Dean was better, if Sam wanted, they could call the doctor and arrange a consultation.

The middle of week 2 they had done just that, Sam was so excited he didn't sleep the night before the meeting, Dean knew because Sam didn't shop signing until 5 in the morning and when he woke up at 8 Sam was still wide awake watching the world go by outside the window.

Today couldn't have come sooner, the 5 days they waited for the booked spot Sam had in the OR felt like the longest 5 _years_ of Sam's life!

"Boys? You packed?" John asked at their door.

"Yes sir," Dean nodded for the both of them, Sam was in the bathroom, come to think it, Sam had been in there for the last 10 minutes, he looked at his watch, _'make that 11 minutes.'_

He frowned, zipped up his bag after he zipped Sam's then walked past his father to the bathroom where he knocked.

As if by coincidence, Sam flushed the toilet, or rather flushed a clean one, then washed his hands before stepping out the room.

"Sam?" Dean asked, the kid in front of him was shaking, he was trying to hide it but Dean could see right through him, maybe today wasn't the best day of Sam's life like he imagined, he expected Sam to be overjoyed, giddy, like he was last night, but he wasn't, he looked scared. "Do you wanna put it off for just today?" Dean asked.

Sam shook his head, his face frightened, but his eyes determined.

"Today," he nodded so Dean nodded back and draped an arm over Sam's shoulders as he guided the kid to their bedroom to get their stuff then followed John out to the car, his jaw tensing and clenching just as Sam's Adams apple bobbed.

**_~S/D~_**

They arrived at the hospital, none of them spoke, too nervous to as they entered the building and followed the directions for the childrens pre-surgery ward. Sam twiddled Brownie in his hands and hoped having him nearby in the theatre would help even if he didn't have Dean.

John signed his son in, usually kids would be asked their date of birth as proof they were who they were but in Sam's case the receptionist just smiled and told them to take a seat where they chose.

The waiting room was quite full, some kids walking round completely comfortable with IV's in their hands, John guessed they had probably been there before, it sent shivers down his spine thinking how many operations these children went through to be that relaxed in this room. Some others were quiet, still, scared, their posture much like Sam's, only they didn't seem to have any brothers of sisters around to comfort them, only worried, terrified parents to help ease their fears.

It was probably a big help for those kids that the room was so happy and unlike any other part of the hospital they had seen before. It was painted bright lemon, children's pictures covered the walls and the corner of the big room was dedicated to kid's toys and books. The best part was the wall that was the front of the hospital, it was a wall of oval shaped windows that made the room so bright it didn't look at all what it was, it looked more like a kindergarten classroom, probably deliberately though.

Just as the doctor explained, a few minutes into the wait, Sam was approached by a nurse who took him to a little room at the end of the waiting area. She weighed then measured him before taking his blood pressure. When she noticed Dean standing right by his brother she smiled. "His blood pressures a little high but that's not usually a shock in these circumstances. Sam's bound to be worked up today with the operation and being in hospital."

"Okay, thanks," Dean mumbled giving her a light nod back before turning a proud smirk to his brother who hadn't even flinched once when the nurse touched him. His smile screamed 'good job Sammy.'

"Okay, does Sam want numbing cream or not?" she asked Dean who shook his head, Sam was a tough kid, he'd had tons of needles without stupid numb or freeze stuff.

**_"No numb crap right Sammy?"_** he signed and spoke at the same time for both people in the room.

Sam shook his head and turned to the nurse who nodded an okay then put the cream and kit away.

"Okay sweetheart you can go sit back down now," she smiled jotting the numbers down, she gave another soft smile to Dean as he drew Sam close when walking back to their dad, for who's comfort, she wasn't sure.

As he tapped his foot, holding Sam's stuffed dog in his hands, waiting for his boys to come back one guy got John's attention. A parent he presumed, was on his cell talking rather loudly in some pansy business voice. The signs outside clearly stated you must turn all phones off, John wasn't exactly one known for following rules but come on, this was a hospital for crying out loud!

After batting his leg, "Hey man, you mind?" John whispered pointing at the sign above the guy's head.

The man merely shrugged, then went back to talking about some sort of money account.

"Hey?" John asked louder this time, "Turn that damn thing off before I toss you outa here myself."

"Dad? Everything okay?" Dean asked when he saw his father's angry face.

"Yeah, everything's fine," John hissed in the man's direction, luckily for him he had now come off his cell and was sitting with a bitch face. "Here Sammy," he said in a lighter tone as he handed the kid Brownie back.

_'God I know the doc said it could be a wait today but jeez...I'm dying here! Come on, get Sam booked in already for I grab him and run! The longer I sit here, the more I realise this could go so wrong.'_

They all let out a sigh of relief when Sam's name was finally called by the doctor.

**_"Sam, how are you feeling this morning?"_** was the first question Dr. Vedder asked, he was a new guy, one Dean wasn't expecting, but being that he was a hearing doctor, he was fluent at signing, a good first impression for them all then.

**_"Fine,"_** Sam immediately answered before returning his nervous gaze to the fluffy dog in his lap as he tried to stop shaking, they had been in the waiting room for a good hour in total, but now it seemed to be happening so fast.

Seeing the tiny tremors, Dean guided his own clammy hand to his brother's and gave it a strong squeeze. _"I'm right here little brother,"_ he mouthed.

Sam squeezed back, '_thank you.'_

The doctor asked Sam if he had eaten today which he shook his head at, talked them through the operation one more time, went over the risks of anaesthesia and the surgery itself, then handed John a consent sheet.

"Sammy, you sure kiddo?" John asked as his pen hovered over the dotted line in which he signed when the boy nodded, a little more enthusiastic than earlier.

"Well it looks like everything's in check, let's get Sam to his room upstairs then we can set up an IV and have his surgery right on schedule for 3pm."

"Thanks doc," John said before giving the man a strong hand shake, Dean did the same before Sam too.

A nurse walked them to the lift and smiled casually as they walked out into the ward named S1.

"We thought Sam would prefer a room on his own, he's also got the big telly and the best choice of DVD's in here," she said in a hush voice as she opened the door for them then left once they said they didn't need anything.

"I bet they say that to everyone," Dean joked as he took a seat on the chair by the right side of the bed leaving the left one for his dad.

Sam was sitting on the bed, his legs swinging nervously off the end with Brownie on his pillow.

"I'm just gonna go find a bathroom," John mumbled, this was one of those times that the kids needed to be alone for a little while. Dean almost laughed when his eyes went to the bathroom already in Sam's room.

"Hey, Sammy, everything's gonna be okay, you're safe okay?" Dean assured as he patted Sam's leg.

Sam nodded, gave a teary half smile that turned into a wince.

Dean sighed, there wasn't much he could do for Sam, the kid was nervous as hell and had every right to be, he wished to god he could trade places but he couldn't, he would just have to settle for what comfort he could provide.

He took his hand from Sam's thigh to look at his watch, 10:36am, they had a long time to go before 3.

"Why don't you get some sleep Sammy, I bet by the time you wake up you'll be hearing perfectly."

When Sam nodded but didn't move, he bent down to pull the kid's shoes off, then motioned for his jacket which Sam took off as instructed.

He made short work of tucking his baby brother in along with Brownie and ran a hand through his hair until finally his wide eyes drifted shut and his shaking breaths evened out.

"Night Sammy."

**_TBC..._**


	24. I'm sleepdriving away

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**I'm sleepdriving away**

"Can't we wait? I just got him to go to sleep," Dean pleaded with the nurse and doctor who were ready to set up Sam's IV.

"I'm sorry, but the sooner we get it in the sooner he can go back to sleep."

Dean nodded, then mumbled something under his breath like 'easy for you to say,' but leaned over and placed a hand on his little brother's shoulder to wake Sam up anyway.

"Sammy, hey wake up for me a sec little bro," Dean whispered as Sam moaned and turned away from his gentle shaking.

The kid took a few minutes but eventually he was sitting up against the crappy metal headboard and staring at the strangers in the room before looking to Dean and John for an explanation.

Dean looked too guilty to tell his little brother he woke him up so these people could stab him like a pin cushion, so John stepped in by lifting from his chair and leaning into Sam's view. "They need to put your IV in dude then they'll leave us alone until 3pm I promise."

Sam took his miserable puppy eyes back to the doctor and nurse then nodded with a sigh. They came closer and John was forced to move around the other side of the bed to give them space. Sam only flinched once when the doctor began prodding his veins to find a good one before settling for one on the top side of his hand. His expression asking Sam if it was okay there, he thankfully managed a nod on his own without Dean translating certain looks for him.

"A good thing about being asleep is that you're nice and warm so your veins are nice and big, makes getting this in easier so you can go back to your nap," the nurse smiled making nonsense small talk that Sam just barely got half of.

While the doctor placed Sam's hand to rest on a pillow and the nurse held his wrist tight and squeezed a few times to get the kid's veins going, Dean stood from his chair and placed himself on the edge of Sam's bed where he pulled the kid to lean into his chest. He knew full well Sam would be fine at this part on his own, but that didn't mean he had to be.

"Alright here we go, first time's a charm, sharp scratch okay?" the guy said as he pulled the cap off the needle and even Dean couldn't help but curl his own toes up when the doc pushed the sharp tip into his little brother's skin, he felt Sam tense up and only he noticed the small whimper Sam let out between his tight jaw.

A bit of pulling and poking his vein later with the needle, Sam relaxed against his big brother and the doctor announced that it was in with a slight cheer. He took a small blood sample through the new IV and flushed it out before quickly taping Sam's hand up so it wouldn't get caught on anything.

They left quickly after handing out a well done praise to both boys, Sam for being brave and not screaming like some children do, and Dean for just being a general comfort, something told them all that Sam wouldn't have been so calm if his big brother wasn't right there where he was needed.

"Dean you okay?" John asked when he saw tears in his eldest son's eyes.

Dean gave a sharp nod and managed to pull the water back in before Sam even noticed. _**"You okay?"**_ he asked his little brother when he noticed him pull forward. Sam nodded with a slight smile then leaned back again before Dean could move to his chair. _**"Go back to sleep, I'll be here," **_Dean signed, not trusting his own voice just yet, it was only an IV but watching Sam go through that just then and not being able to swap places was like hell, God knows what watching Sam being wheeled off into the operating room would be like in a few hours.

Sam closed his eyes and shuffled down the bed until somehow his body was curled up and his head was in Dean's lap, no one said anything. 15 silent and still minutes later when Sam's hand worked its way up into clutching Dean's shirt, making it obvious that although his eyes were closed, he wasn't asleep and wasn't going to be anytime soon.

'_This is gonna be a long day,'_ Dean thought as he stared down at his little brother, he couldn't wait till tomorrow when they could take Sam home..._baring no complications_ as the doctor rubbed in.

_**~S/D~**_

When diner time came around Dean refused to eat, his argument being if Sam couldn't, he wasn't either, it didn't stand for long though, Sam could get pretty stubborn himself lately.

Dean finally agreed to a sandwich, truth be told he was craving some M&M peanuts ever since he saw them on the newspaper guy's trolley in the morning when Sam was asleep. But even the thought of eating when Sam couldn't was cruel to him, never mind eating something Sam loved too.

When he had seen what little the hospital had to offer, John ordered them both a jacket potato from the canteen thinking nobody could get that wrong, when he got back and he opened the to go box, he was proven oh so wrong.

"Yuck," were Dean's words as he tossed it into the trash before even having a taste, the look of the dried up lumpy potato was enough to put him off, and Dean Winchester was rarely put off from food of any kind.

They sat for another torturous hour and Sam couldn't take anymore of Dean's stomach rumbling so he made them both go get something, _anything_!

Dean of course refused to leave Sam's side, and the young boy was secretly grateful for that as John left once again and came back 5 short minutes late with coffee knowing Sam hated it, and one huge bag of Doritos in the flavour Sam also despised. The kid gave him a look which he replied with "blue ones were the only kind they had." Sam rolled his eyes, then pride took over and he sent them both a thank you from his place on the bed.

Before they knew it, 2:45 came around just as they had finished the bag of chips and a nurse came in.

"Hello gentlemen, I'm Beth, I'll be looking after you guys this afternoon."

"Hey, _Beth_," Dean smirked unable to help himself, Beth was hot.

She smiled back before going serious, "I'm so sorry but its gonna be a little while longer," she said with a sympathetic smile, Dean let out a sigh of relief which she wasn't expecting, but as long as this day was dragging on to be, he wasn't ready to say goodbye to his little brother just quite yet. "They've said 3:30 at the latest, so you won't be hanging around too long honey."

Sam blushed, he'd rarely been called things like honey in years. Dean laughed, gave Sam a gentle nudge reminding the kid to say thank you, which of course he didn't, in his little nervous flutter he ended up signing something like 'thank _dog_,' instead of 'thank _you_.'

"Okay, thanks," John said back for all of them, shaking his head as the boys as Beth left before coming right back.

"What's that for?" Dean asked a little sharper than he meant when Beth wheeled in a big fat machine next to Sam.

"The doctors just want to monitor his blood pressure because it was a little high this morning."

Dean nodded and made sure Beth wasn't doing anything to upset Sam as she wrapped the cuff around his upper arm and pressed a few buttons before the machine got to work, squeezing Sam's arm until he turned a painful shade of red.

"A little better," she smiled pressing a few more buttons, leaving the cuff on before she left, much to everyone's surprise, she never even said anything about Dean being on the bed with his little brother too.

"Doesn't hurt does it?" Dean asked rubbing Sam's red fingers.

"_**No, annoying,"**_ Sam told him before relaxing again as his arm returned to its natural pinky self.

By now, 3:30pm was a distant memory, it had come and gone painfully and now they had been told it would be anything up to 2 hours before they could fit Sam into the theatre. Something to do with the last surgery taking longer than anticipated, Dean only prayed Sam's wouldn't go like that, he couldn't bear the thought of not being around Sam for the 45 minutes set, never mind longer. Sam surgeon came in and asked if he was okay still, another doctor who was an anaesthetist apparently came in to introduce himself, shaking all their hands. '_Good strong handshake, I like him,'_ was John's first reaction. Beth came in a few more times just to jot down Sam's blood pressure that was improving but otherwise, the day was slow, really slow.

Dean was telling jokes, old memories of what troubles he got up to as a kid when Beth walked in, at first Dean expected her to just take Sam's chart and write more stuff down, but something just felt off.

"Okay sweetheart, they're ready to take you down now," she said completely out of the blue at just gone 4pm, just as Dean and John had prepared themselves for another few hours of waiting.

"_**Already?"**_ Sam asked Dean, his hands starting to shake as his brother was made to move from his side and the nurse and an orderly crowded him and started to help him out of the bed with his IV wires and all.

'_Guess I don't have to be wheeled in the bed this time.'_

"Okay honey, you're all set. Got your dog?" she asked Sam handing Brownie to him from the bed that he almost forgot about.

'_Dean? Where are you? I'm kinda scared now.'_

The orderly guy just barely brushed Sam's back when he saw the kid's legs wobbling before Dean pushed him out of the way roughly.

"I got him," he said as he wrapped his arm around Sam's back and steadied him as they all left the room and went to where Beth led them to the paediatric OR ward.

Only one person was allowed in the pre-theatre room with Sam, everyone knew who that person was going to be.

"See you in a while champ," John smiled at Sam as he cupped his cheek. Sam launched himself to John's chest, gave a tight squeeze before his hair was ruffled and he left with Beth and Dean into the little room with a bed, several doctors and way too many machines that made Dean nervous.

"Okay young man, you wanna sit on the bed for us?" a man dressed in sterilized overalls asked, patting the bed lightly.

Taking in the scene in front of him made Sam want to bolt, _'what the hell have I got__ten__ myself in for?' _he asked himself as tears started streaming down his face, this room was terrifying as hell! Too many tubes, too many people, too much clean bleach in the air, and worst of all, those huge doors at the back that lead to where Dean wasn't going to be. Those were the doors to the scalpels, forceps and other tools that no one should ever have invented.

But as he turned on his heels, strong arms wrapped around him and the feeling of safety and comfort took over his fear in an instant. After a few minutes he let Dean pull away and cup his face.

"It's okay Sammy, you're gonna be fine right? You're gonna be just fine," he promised not letting go until he was sure, until he saw the look in Sam's eyes that told him he wanted this, and he was just a little overwhelmed.

Sam nodded, and leaned into him just for a little longer.

"Boys? Are you okay?" Sam's surgeon asked when he saw the utter fear in his patient simmer down when his brother comforted him.

"Yup, come on Sammy," Dean guided him to the bed and held his hand as he laid flat.

As the people around them got to work, attaching machines, getting needles ready, masks and other stuff he didn't want to know about, Dean grabbed Sam's dog and started being stupid, making woof sounds and tickling Sam's chin with his fluffy ears, doing anything he could to distract him from what was going on around him. Sam was laughing, usually when Dean was being a goof he wasn't really amused, he would role his eyes and pull a bitch face at how ridiculous his big brother looked, but now he didn't have it in him, he just let Dean be as strange as he liked, he was scared, really scared but it was kind of helping. Watching Dean's imitations of a dog was really getting his attention.

Dean was beginning to notice the doctors were taking longer to set up than he thought so he set Sam's stuffed dog down when he saw the kid's attention was starting to waver and asked Beth to pass him one of the books from the kiddie tray. Sure those books were like a million years old and for 5 year olds but he would take what he could get right now.

"Wanna find Waldo?" he asked Sam holding the book up for him as his hands were a little busy with monitors or the IV.

As Sam started searching he breathed a sigh of relief and took the time to look around the room at the staff that were in charge of looking after his brother for the next hour.

Looking at the anaesthetist, he started to remember what they talked about earlier that afternoon outside Sam's room.

"_What's your name son?" he asked._

"_Dean."_

"_Okay Dean later I'm gonna need your help, have you ever had an operation before?"_

"_Yeah but, not like this, never had to be put to sleep, I was already there, or too wacked out to remember," Dean let out a humourless chuckle._

"_Well, when we put patients under usually we ask them to count down from ten, so can you help Sam do that for us?"_

"_Um n-no, he doesn't speak that much, if at all, really only when he's scared he'll say my name or...I've never even hear him count." _

"_That's okay, we'll figure something out," the doc shook his hand then turned his back to leave._

"_Hey wait, Sam um...he laughs, he can laugh really well, would it still be the same if he was laughing when you put him under instead of counting?"_

"_Yeah, brilliant, anything as long as we know they're going under correctly, our monitors will tell us if he's not but __it's__ just to be on the safe side. And it's a great distraction technique, so I'm sure making your brother laugh will work even better."_

"_Okay, thanks."_

Dean caught the doc nodding to him so he guessed that meant he needed Sam to laugh, or distracted anyway.

"Hey Sammy, I think Waldo is possessed."

Sam snorted then shook his head.

"Seriously man, after this, we're going out and hunting that sneaky basterd down, it's your job to find his bones."

Sam laughed, Dean salting and burning Waldo was a funny image, and really wrong, but now that he thought about it, Waldo was rather creepy, and he was a sneaky little basterd that's for sure.

Just then he felt a prick up his hand where the IV was, that kinda hurt...'_what the hell? OW! Dean tell them to go away!'_

He so badly wanted Dean to drop the book that hid everything from him, he wanted to know what the hell was going on!

"Eeeaaa?" he mewed.

"Sshh, it's okay Sammy, it's okay." _'Come on doc hurry the hell up and get that stuff in him already!' _

Sam started to shake but Dean refused to move the book, he just kept chanting that Sam would be okay and nothing bad was going to happen because he was right there next to him.

Sam whimpered and thrashed a little, trying to get the hands off him that were so obvious now. _'When did that happen?_' he asked himself.

"Damn it!"

"Would you hurry the hell up!" Dean yelled when he saw the doc having a hard time getting the sticky white medicine into the syringe. 'oh I've had enough of this.' Dean thought it would be better for his brother if going to sleep was quick and Sam didn't have a clue what was going wrong, but they were taking too damn long! "Get the hell off him," Dean said to the man holding his brother's leg to the bed.

Finally the book was dropped.

"Sammy look at me."

Sam did as he was told, his wet red eyes met Dean's and he pleaded to be informed.

"The doc's just gonna put you to sleep okay? Nothing to worry about kiddo," Dean wiped the tears and stroked his brothers bangs out his eyes, moving them left to right until finally the anaesthetist had the syringe of sleep meds attached to Sam's IV and was pushing it into his vein slowly.

Turns out, Dean never needed jokes, never needed Waldo and never needed to make Sam laugh. Sam's whimpers were enough verbal communication for the doctors and Dean's usual comforts were enough to settle Sam and distract him from the others until finally, he was asleep.

"Dean, sweetie we need to take him now," Beth said putting a hand on Dean's shoulder.

"See you in a while Sammy. You better be okay or I'll kick your ass man...love you dude," he leaned down and kissed Sam on the forehead before turning to the staff. "You better look after him, or I swear to god I will hunt you down for hurting my brother," and with that, Dean left his baby brother with the doctors and nurses praying he wasn't about to make the biggest mistake of his life by letting Sam go through one hell of a risky operation.

_**TBC...**_

**Waldo- **_Okay, I know what you are thinking, "Sam is waaayyy too old for Waldo!" but there is a reason it's there, when I was about....13/14 I think, I went in to have my adenoids out and more grommets put in, I was bored in the pre-op room while the docs were setting up, so I asked to look at the book, it was Waldo, really old, one of the baby ones too. But you know what, I never got to find him before I fell asleep, it still bugs me! What can I say, I've had a lot of operations lol. Thankfully when I woke up that time I didn't hit the nurse lol, but hey I was like 8 years old and they had just yanked out 11 of my teeth without telling me, I thought it was gonna be just 1! Uh, I was less than impressed that time._


	25. The waiting game

_**Not beta'd just yet, everyone is really busy.**_

_**Sorry for it being so long, I've been exhausted for no reason, college has also been getting me down, my teachers are total douches and have no understanding of my situation what so ever, it used to be frustrating, now it's upsetting me. But enough of that...enjoy! **_

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

**The waiting game**

"Dean? Earth calling Dean?"

"What?" Dean asked, sharper than he meant to.

"Come on, let's go for a walk, loosen up your shoulder a bit."

"I'm fine, I'm staying here," Dean said staring at the empty bed Sam was in not long ago.

Beth had escorted them back to Sam's room when he was wheeled into the operating theatre and said they would be fine if they waited there. Usually she suggested going for a coffee or something but Dean didn't look all that well himself once Sam was out for the count. So she figured sitting down in Sam's quiet room would be better and she could keep checking on him there too, he wasn't a patient but that didn't mean she didn't have a duty to make sure he was okay.

"Come on kiddo, either come walk with me or I'm sending a nurse in here to check you over."

Dean sighed, his father wasn't joking, he had that look on his face that meant he wasn't, so he stood and walked out after his dad with a hand to his shoulder that was quickly making itself known. Weirdly enough, it only started hurting after Sam wasn't around, but he supposed that was a good thing, the last thing Sam needed was worry over his stupid shoulder.

"You sure you're okay?" John asked once they passed the nurse's station.

"Yeah," Dean immediately answered.

"Truth Dean, it goes a long way."

"_What_?" Dean asked like he didn't know what his father was getting at.

"How do you feel?"

"Oh, I'm just awesome."

"_Dean_."

Now that they were in the privacy of the lift, Dean let rip.

"Crappy. Okay. I got shot, it hurts, I'm miserable, Sammy's off in surgery, I'm scared for him, what if it doesn't work? What if something goes wrong, what if all this was a big mistake? So there, that's the '_truth_!' Happy now?"

"Let me look," John said, more like ordered but Dean backed up.

"What?"

"Your shoulder, you said it hurts, let me look."

"Not in here, cameras."

"Fine, we'll find a bathroom."

"Yeah cos that's hygienic," not that he even cared, but he was just trying to find any reason to have a good bitch.

"Fine, after we get some coffee I'll check it out in Sam's room, okay?"

Dean mumbled something but it wasn't what John wanted to hear, he didn't know what was said but he knew by his son's tone.

"Dean, is that okay?"

"Yes sir," Dean sighed back a short while later when the lift came to a stop.

"You know it's okay to be scared and even to be miserable, after what's happened over the last month you kids have barely had time to let your head catch up before the next catastrophe."

Dean merely shrugged his good shoulder, he didn't really want to start a heart to heart chick flick fest, this was Sam's day.

_**~S/D~**_

It was now 6 hours into the supposed 1 hour operation and Dean was sure he was losing his mind, his dad checked his shoulder out then said it just looked a little irritated, probably from Dean using it too much today. He then asked Beth for some painkillers for Dean's bad 'headache' and after checking his temperature, announcing it was normal and he probably just had a headache from stress, she kindly handed him 2 white pills.

By this time, Dean had gone through about 5 stages of stress, first it was snappy Dean, then it was silent miserable Dean when his father had told him to stop acting like a brat. After a "Dean I'm sorry son, I shouldn't have snapped. You have every right to be pissed and moody kid," Dean had started talking again which was an improvement but when the 2 hour maximum limit the doctor had set came, Dean began pacing and cursing Sam's small room.

4 hours later and Dean was yelling at nurses and any hospital staff he could find, the woman he begged to just find something, call someone, anyone to tell him how his brother was. The male staff he threatened, almost pinned one man to the wall and would have if his dad wasn't right behind to stop him. When Dean stormed off to the next victim John was left to apologize for his sons behaviour and no, Dean wasn't going to 'hang their dogs from their washing line,' if they couldn't find some information on Sam.

When Dean finally tracked down Beth he wasn't happy, he practically howl at her saying if she wasn't about to tell them she had just come back from Sam's surgery then she better have a damn good explanation for where the hell she had been and why she wasn't doing her job right. "As a matter of fact, I went to say goodbye to my grandfather, he just passed away," she replied with sadness, and Dean couldn't have felt guiltier if he had tried. He mumbled a sorry then dragged his feet back to Sam's room when his god awful behaviour of the afternoon caught up with him.

5 hours of waiting and John was literally watching his son tear himself apart, he sat with his knees bouncing and Brownie in his hands, John watched the white knuckles around the teddy gain color every 10 minutes or so when Dean's fingers started to cramp then waited for them to go tight again when Dean needed something to help contain his need to scream.

He had given up on trying to comfort or reassure Dean many hours ago and now just sat in silence with him and handed him cups of coffee when he thought he needed it.

It was 6 hours, 34 minutes and 6 seconds since he saw Sam when Beth came in the room.

"Guys, Sam's on his way to recovery now, you wanna come with me?" she asked with a smile, like the events from a few hours ago were forgotten.

Dean let out the longest sigh of his life and was out the door and in the lift before John or Beth had the chance to blink.

"What took them so long? I mean, he's okay right? If he's in recovery that means he's okay," Dean rushed when the lift stopped and opened up to the recovery ward.

"He's absolutely fine, it didn't work the first time the surgeon tried and the limit was 2 hours and if it didn't work by then, he would give up but when the 2 hour mark came he still carried on trying, after 5 hours it finally worked and they cleared Sam's ears out and...now here we are."

"So it worked? He can hear?"

"Well we need to do a few tests when he wakes up and he might not be able to hear all that well because of the swelling for a few days but yeah, Sam should be able to hear from now on."

"Dad," was all Dean said with the biggest grin he'd ever managed in his life.

"I know kiddo, told you everything was fine, all that worrying for nothing," John patted his son on the shoulder and they carried on following Beth around a few corners, passing a few groggy patients then finally she pulled back a curtain and there was Sam.

He had dots of blood on one side of his pillow where it was obvious his ears had leaked a little but other than that and a few machines, he looked fine.

"How is he doing?" Beth asked the silent nurse in scrubs by Sam's bed Dean hadn't even noticed.

"His vitals are good, really good, he should be waking up any minute-" she hadn't even finished her sentence when a loud groan came from the sleeping boy and he turned his head towards the side Dean was at, like he could tell his brother was there even when he was half baked.

"Hey Sammy, how you feeling?" Dean asked leaning over his brother and gripping Sam's floppy hand.

Sam only groaned again but his hand tightened and his other lifted.

"Whoa dude not such a good idea, you're gonna rip your IV out man," Dean carefully took Sam's other hand that was in mid air set it down by his side.

Sam groaned for the third time but it was different, like he was trying to ask something, trouble was his tongue wasn't going where he wanted it to and he couldn't really see anything but the blurs of colors. He knew it was Dean though, he could see the blur of black and grey from Dean's clothing he had memorized earlier, today he was wearing his grey long sleeved top and black t-shirt underneath, but the thing that told Sam it was Dean was the small smudge gold dot of the pendant he had found/made Dean at Christmas. A taller blob of black and green told Sam it was John standing right by his brother, but he just wished he could see their faces, he needed to know.

"What was that Sammy?"

'_Huh?'_ was all that came across Sam's mind, it was like he was in a gold fish bowl. _'Did it work Dean? Cos my ears kinda hurt so something must have gone on in there.'_

"Sammy, why don't you go back to sleep dude?"

'_I don't want to, I want to know if-, hey wait a minute...I heard that. Didn't I? Dean?'_

He lifted his hand from Dean's and made a questioning face with a thumbs up.

Then right before his eyes was what looked like another thumbs up, Dean's thumbs up.

"Yeah Sammy, it worked kiddo, welcome back to the land of the hearing."

'_Thanks for having me back,'_ he thought and a peaceful smile came across his face.

He felt Dean's hand back in his once again, a soft fluffy thing by he left cheek before he closed his eyes knowing everything was going to be better from now on.

_**~S/D~**_

"Get some sleep too son," John said draping the sheet and blanket over Dean as he laid down on the cot bed set out in Sam's room right next to the kid.

"What about you?"

"I'll be fine, just go to sleep, you look like crap."

"Thanks, love you too," Dean smirked at his father and John knew Dean was back, sure he was tired, pale and the ache in his shoulder had obviously come back with the few pain lines on his face but his son was back, thanks to Sam being perfectly well right now. He had to admit, even he was convinced for a short while in the 5th hour and that something had gone wrong with Sam, but thankfully for both his sons' sakes, everything went fine.

"Smart ass." That was his way of saying of course I love you. "Night Dean," he said ruffling his son's short hair before he went back to the bony chair and closed his eyes with his mouth hanging wide open, snoring away before Dean was.

_**~S/D~**_

"Hey dad I think he's waking up again."

"Mmmrrr..."

"Morning sunshine to you too."

"Ddrrr...?"

"Yup, it's me Sammy, you wanna try opening your eyes?"

'_Oh, that explains why everything's dark.'_ He opened his eyes and blinked a few times clearing the fog before he saw Dean's classic grin shining down at him.

"Hiya Sammy."

'_Hey Dean...okay wait...dude can I hear?'_

"Yes Sammy, you can hear," he heard with Dean laughing.

'_Did I say that out loud? Okay maybe I can't hear then if I did and don't know I did.'_

"You got the same look on your face as last night when you asked me."

'_Oh...so I can hear? Man this is confusing.'_

"Remember yesterday?"

'_Yesterday? Yesterday...what happened yesterday?...Oh, I woke up in a big white room, Dean was there...so was dad...and I could hear , right I remember now, that was yesterday?'_

"You came back from your operation pretty late dude, slept the whole ride back to your room and never flinched once, you've been dead to the world till now."

'_I have?'_

"Says you."

'_Okay new voice...my best guess is that's-'_

"Yeah Sam, it's me."

"Hheerrr."

"Hey to you too," John chuckled.

"So how you doing dude?"

"Urrss..."

"Hurts? What hurts?"

'_Crap, didn't mean to say that out loud.'_

"Sammy talk to me, what hurts."

He managed to control his still floopy arm enough to point to his ears the sign, _**"not that bad."**_

"I'll go get a nurse."

He stuck his arm out and stopped John from leaving.

"Hey Sam it's alright I'm just gonna go-"

"Nnnrr...ttaall...uurr oouu lleeaasee..."

"Sammy I don't understand dude," Dean winced, Sam could hear now but his speak was still way off, then again he wouldn't be speaking very eloquently if he hadn't used his lips and mouth that way for years.

"_**Nurse later, just talk for now please."**_

Dean smiled, it was kinda sweet to be able to speak and have Sam hear for the first time and truth be told he wanted to talk to Sam about everything, anything, hell he would talk about the hunt for Waldo if Sam wanted.

"Alright, what do you want us to talk about?"

"_**Anything."**_

"Anything? Dude a lot of topics come under anything."

"_**Jerk."**_

"Bitch," and that was all Sam needed to make his year.

_**~S/D~**_

After half an hour of Dean talking about stupid nonsense it was John's turn, he didn't really know what to say, Dean had covered the whole 'what we're gonna do, where we're gonna go, what music we're gonna blast on the road,' stuff so there wasn't much left so after he wracked his brain, he decided to tell Sam a few old marine stories, like the time in his first day of training where he fell into a mud whole and not only was the laughing stock of the whole base but had to stay in the same toilet smelling clothes for the next 3 days because he didn't pack a spare.

Just under an hour later when Sam's eyes started to droop John took that opportunity to go for a nurse and tell them he was up and aching. When he got back to the room with a new nurse of the day he was greeted with the site of Sam fast on and Dean running a hand through his hair quietly talking about how much Sam was going to love AC/DC even though he was asleep.

"I'll give him something for the pain when he wakes up again," the nurse, Sarah announced after checking Sam's chart and other things.

The next time Sam woke up, Dean was out getting coffee by his dads orders, Dean had been sitting or laying for the last god knows how many hours and he needed to move his legs already.

"Hey dude, feeling better?" John asked.

Sam groaned like he wasn't so John asked Sam to be completely truthful now his big brother wasn't in the room, and tell him straight how he was feeling, he managed to find out from Sam honestly, his ears were burning now, unlike the ache they had before and he was still tired even after sleeping for so long. John reassured the kid that it was just the aesthetic he had yesterday and having being under for so long and the doctor had told them Sam's ears may not hurt at all or they may hurt like hell when he woke up depending on how the surgery went. But upside, Sam wasn't feeling sick from the sleeping meds and he hadn't gone dizzy yet.

Then Dean came back with 2 cups of coffee and a smile on his face when he saw Sam was awake, but also a little irritated he wasn't there when he woke up, he shot his father a glare on the way past then handed him his cup. John ignored the snigger from his eldest then put the cup down then went for the nurse and after checking him over she gave Sam a few pills and said the pain was normal, so was he tiredness, and with a few mild painkillers it should keep the burning at bay until it goes.

Dean practically had a heart attack when she said his little brothers ears were burning but relaxed when Sam said he was okay, it just hurt a bit. Dean then took the opportunity to ask Sam if his hearing was perfect in which Sam replied no. "They said after the swelling and stuff goes down you will be able to hear like the best of us." Sam let out the breath he didn't know he was holding and smiled once again, he thought his hearing was good now, never mind in a few days, he had forgotten how amazing sounds were.

Later in the afternoon when he was sure Sam had managed to stay awake for a few hours they let him have something to eat, which he rejected when he caught the sight of what was meant to be a plain cheese sandwich, there was cheese yes, but also cucumber...and Sam _hated_ cucumber with a passion!

John knew Sam needed to eat, so did he and Dean for that matter but he wasn't going to force Sam to have something he hated, he knew he wouldn't eat anything he didn't want to so he asked his boys if they minded if he left for half an hour to track down some food outside the hospital and also call Bobby to tell him everything was fine and Sam was due home in the early hours of tomorrow morning.

The boys were back in the room watching some random episode of Family Guy and Sam's laughter was music to Dean's ears.

"_**Dude his voice is creepy."**_

"I know," Dean agreed watching the baby.

"_**Hey Dean? Can we go to the beach next week?"**_

"Sure, why the beach?"

"_**I don't know what waves sound like...never been near any." **_

"Never?"

Sam shook his head.

"Okay, next week we'll go to the beach and listen to some road tunes and the waves."

Sam smiled, "aann ooo."

"You're welcome dude."

Sam laughed to himself and Dean couldn't help but ask, "what?"

"_**You sound exactly like I thought in my head." **_"Cool," Dean grinned and once again Sam laughed.

Sam nodded, he couldn't agree more.

"Everything okay in here boys?" John asked coming back with burgers and fries for he and Dean and a chicken salad for Sam.

"Yup, we've come to the conclusion that baby's voice is creepy and we're going to the beach to listen to some waves next week."

"Awesome," John smiled handing the food out.

"Damn straight, right Sammy?"

"Iiiyt."

"Rrr dude."

"Urr?"

"Listen, rrr...iiyy...ttt," Dean pushed breaking it down for Sam.

"R...iii...ttt," Sam copied and smiled when he got a high five.

"Just call be Dr Dean the Speech machine."

"_**That's a lot to say."**_

"Don't worry, we'll start off easy, get you speaking as eloquently as me in no time."

TBC...

The blurs of colors and the thumbs up I taken 100% from my last op, I can still see my mums blue blob of a skirt an my dads red blury blob of his top, that's how I knew it was my ma and pa, and I put a thumbs up asking if it worked and I got a yes it worked, 2 hour limit turned into 7.5 hours but it worked! Woot woot! I survived and I'm alive!

Next chapter will be the beach and music and the end.


	26. New Beginnings

**Thank you all so much for everything! Couldn't have done this without all you guys and my sidekicks! Thanks to all the people that made me laugh, blush and cheer with happiness!**

**Love ya'll! Thank you and goodnight x **

_**Side kick-Bia1007**_

_**Beta- Eggylaine**_

**New Beginnings**

"Here, I got a good one for you," it was now the day of Sam's release from the hospital, all the tests were over, and the doctors had happily given Sam the all clear, the boys were now killing time until someone fixed the printer, apparently it broke and the doc couldn't sign release papers that were on the computer still.

Dean had managed to wangle him and Sam a cassette player from dear old Edna, the sister on the ward, he charmed his way with her and she happily gave up her old machine to the boys when he said he wanted to get Sam into some road tunes before they took off.

Much to Dean's disappointment, Sam wasn't much into his mullet rock, he didn't hate it, but he didn't seem overjoyed when Dean played _**Sweet Child of Mine**_. So Dean had searched through his tapes and his brain for some more mellow songs Sam might like instead, Sam just got his hearing back, he wasn't about to make Sam regret that by playing stuff in the car the kid didn't like.

After not much success with his box of tapes, Sam asked if he could have a drink, Dean smiled then said he'd be back in 5 minutes.

When he returned with coffee in one hand and juice in the other, he heard the faint sounds of Bon Jovi's _**I'll be there for you**_ playing, he groaned loud, how the hell did that tape get into his collection?

He couldn't help but snort when he saw Sam swaying to the cheesy tune.

Just as he sat down, not saying a word about Sam's music preferences, their dad walked in with a bag for Sam so he could have a shower and change before driving back to Bobby's. Sure Sam could have a shower then, but it was now lunch time and because of the operation's after effects, Sam had a habit these past few days of being absolutely fine until 6pm came around, then exhaustion hit like a slap in the face and had to take a nap. They all knew that if Sam didn't have a shower now, by the time they got home, he wouldn't be fit to have wash until the next day.

"Dad you wanna tell me how your Bon Jovi tape got in my car?"

John turned a bright shade of pink looked at Sam then snorted, "I guess he's taken for my guilty pleasures."

"Yeah, no kidding, thanks dad, this is just awful, Whitney Huston or Bonnie Tyler would have been better than this, you've broken my brother, this is the last time you meddle with my music."

"Ooo love e' an' you know e'!" Sam yelled over the music he was rather enjoying, this Bon Jovi guy wasn't half bad.

Being a fast learner, Sam picked up the ability to speak better pretty quickly, it wasn't perfect but it was damn amazing when you think of how Sam used to be less than a week ago. But the thing was, having been spending all day every day since with his big brother, he was starting to sound like a mini Dean, the way he said things, the timing his phrases had, the tone of his voice, it was starting to scare everyone but Dean and Sam. After some clowning around from Dean, air guitar-ring when Dead or Alive came on, Edna came in asking them to turn it down, John then turned the cassette player off and ordered Sam to get in the shower, but not before Dean mother henned about "if you feel dizzy sit down and yell for us, or if your ears start hurting…"

"Yyell ffur yyooh'," Sam finished.

"Bitch."

"Jerrk."

Dean nodded a well done then waved the kid off to get washed.

Just as Sam appeared, dressed in his jeans and favourite blue and green shirt, his doctor walked in with a smile and said, "Gentlemen, I've got Sam's forms."

_**~S/D~**_

It was now almost a week later, so much for Sam staying in hospital for just a few days, when the kid did a nose dive the first afternoon, the doctor suggested keeping Sam in until he adjusted to his surroundings and new senses a bit, so if he did hurt himself medical staff were right on hand. Naturally, everyone but Sam was well for that idea. He got a little jumpy at sudden clatters and dizzy when he whipped his head around to noises too quick, but other than that, he was doing remarkably well.

Dean pulled down the windows, turned off the radio then placed a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Sammy, wake up man we're here."

It was a long drive, nowhere in the vicinity of the hospital was there a beach, so while Sam got well enough to be discharged, John and Bobby did some research on the beaches nearby, the best was a 5 hour drive away but the look of Sam's little face when he woke up to the waves crashing made it all more than worth it.

"Whoa..." Sam said unconsciously before grinning brightly at his brother and turning back at the waves. He didn't know what to call the sound, crashing? Pounding? Whatever it was called, it sounded pretty amazing.

Dean pulled into a space on the side of the road, trying to hide his bright grin and red cheeks, only to laugh loud and proud when Sam launched himself from the car hopping around like he'd never seen Sam do before.

"Alright, alright I'm coming," he said to himself shutting off the engine and getting out before watching Sam run towards to sand, he didn't move closer, he didn't walk behind his brother, he just stood and watched the kid sprinting down the beach.

Once Sam had come to a standstill, about a metre away from where the waves were coming in, he frowned, wondered what Sam was doing, worried for a split second that his brother had hurt himself, or gotten sick, or his ears were hurting or something, but when he started sprinting as well, he noted how relaxed Sam's shoulders were...it was weird, but it was like he could tell if Sam was smiling or frowning, even from the back of his head, Sam was definitely smiling right now.

He placed a hand on the kid's shoulder when he reached him, then nudged Sam to look at him, he just needed to be sure...

He got his answer when Sam wrapped both his gangly arms around his chest. He ruffled the kid's hair after a few minutes then they both pulled away and turned watching the waves, nothing else, just watching...listening. To the birds, the waves, and maybe it was just in his head, but Sam could swear he could hear fish flapping in the far deep water.

The thing that made it even more special was, it was just the 2 of them on the entire beach, miles and miles all to themselves. But it was freezing today, well, not quite but bitter cold heavy winds plus water didn't equal tons of surfers or swimmers out today.

They had lost count of how long they stood, just listening, when Dean said he was just gonna go get a blanket to sit on, he didn't mention it was really to wrap up in, he was freaking cold!

When he got back from the short walk to his trunk, he smiled at Sam, the kid was now sitting perched on the sand with his right ear pricked towards a flock of birds crowing in the far distance. They had found out on the second day of Sam's hearing tests, his right was better than his left, but they were all assured that was totally normal, hell, Dean had no problems with his hearing what so ever but his left was better than his right, he knew from years of hunting to always prick the left one up in cases of emergency.

"Sammy," he said setting down the blanket, or 2 next to his brother before Sam shuffled across then went back to watching the water, grinning just a little bigger when a huge wave rang out.

After sitting under the blankets for half an hour, sitting in silence watching the world of the sea go by, Sam thought it was a good idea to pull off his sneakers and socks, roll up his jeans then take off running towards the water with Dean yelling after him.

"Sam! Come on it's freezing, we'll come back and swim in the summer, Sam!" he whined when his brother did nothing but giggle and run faster before he stopped, inches away from the water. When he turned back to his older brother he was a painful shade of white, that wasn't good. "Sam, come away from the water, I mean it!" he yelled carrying Sam's shoes on the way.

Sam shook his head, not in the 'I'm not doing what you say,' way, but just a general shrug of 'I'm not going to drown this time.'

"Sam," Dean warned, storming to his brother before Sam backed away from the water, still the consoling look on his face.

"M'not guna drow'," he smiled.

Dean sighed, realized how ridiculous he was being, last time Sam fell, you can't really fall far in the sea, unless the waves dragged you out, Sam was safe by the sea, okay he might get frost bite but he wasn't going to drown.

"Alright, let's go for a walk smart ass."

Dean pulled off his own boots and socks, then rolled up his jeans to his knees before they took off wandering along the shallows, a blanket wrapped over their shoulders each. Sam was furthest away from the water naturally and laughed every time a wave washed between his toes.

They didn't speak for the longest time, they just walked and sighed happily, Dean hadn't realized until now, until he really listened, how amazing the sea was, they needed to do this more often in their family. Maybe next time when it's a little warmer, they bring Bobby, and dad, and maybe they'll be guys selling hotdogs and ice cream, he bet $50 Sam would love that.

Never again, would he take for granted the gift of hearing, or the gift of Sammy for that matter.

**The End.**


End file.
